


Finding Home

by paperflower622



Category: Blake Shelton (Musician), Shefani, The Voice (US) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Falling In Love, Slow Burn, Workplace Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:48:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 72,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26227426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperflower622/pseuds/paperflower622
Summary: Feeling adrift in a city they came to for very different reasons, two people find that maybe home is a person, not a place.
Relationships: Blake Shelton/Gwen Stefani
Comments: 268
Kudos: 208





	1. Chapter 1

"Miss Stefani? He's ready for you now."

Gwen stands, wiping her sweaty palms down the front of her gray pencil skirt as she follows the woman to the wooden office door. The employee turns the handle and gestures for Gwen to walk inside.

Sitting behind a large desk, in front of a wall of windows displaying a bustling downtown Nashville street behind him, is the man who will hopefully offer her a life raft in the form of a job she desperately needs.

"Mr. Shelton, it's so nice to meet you," she says, holding out her still slightly sweaty hand.

Blake Shelton is much younger and more handsome than she was expecting — there had been no photo of him on the website for the Majestic Theatre, where he is venue manager. She’d assumed someone with a title of such importance would be much older than her. She was wrong.

Now, as he stands to reach over and shake her hand, she sees that he is also a lot taller than she was anticipating. His blue eyes pierce hers like ice, and he doesn't fully return her smile. 

"Have a seat," he says, motioning to one of the two chairs facing his desk. Gwen sits down primly, shakily holding out her printed-out resume to him.

Even though a digital version had been included with her online application, she finds it's always good to bring a hard copy with you on job interviews. She hopes it makes her look resourceful and helpful.

He takes the resume from her and glances over it for a moment, then looks back up at her.

“UCLA grad… and all of your previous jobs were in Los Angeles,” he remarks. “You must be new to Nashville.”

Gwen nods her confirmation. “I just moved here.”

It is only the third place she's lived in her 27 years of life. Until now, she'd either resided with her parents in Anaheim or in nearby Los Angeles, and that's just one reason coming to Nashville is such a big — and terrifying — step for her.

It is because of Gavin that she's here. Her boyfriend of three years is determined to make it in the music business one way or the other.

Tired of floundering in Los Angeles, a buddy had suggested that he move out to Nashville, where a burgeoning mix of all types of musicians — not just country — are finding their niche in the more insulated community and getting attention they might not ever be able to earn in L.A.

Gwen didn’t know much about Nashville, but she knew enough to figure the competition there would still be intense. She wasn’t sure if Gavin was making the right decision to relocate.

It had taken him a few months to convince her to move here with him, but the thought of staying back in L.A. while he came out here alone — what would definitely be the death of their relationship — was ultimately too much for her to accept.

Maybe it wouldn’t work, maybe he’d decide after six months that he wanted to go back to L.A. The least she could do was try it out with him and give it a chance.

So she had followed him here, two thousand miles away from home, and now she really needed a job or they wouldn't be able to afford their newly rented, shoebox-sized apartment for very long.

Gwen wipes her clammy palms down the front of her skirt again, internally cursing her nervousness. Blake runs his eyes further over the piece of paper with what she hopes isn't disinterest or disappointment.

"Electra Records is a great label, and it looks like you had a lot of responsibilities there," he says, the tone in his voice betraying nothing. He looks up at her, locking eyes. "What made you want to leave that job and come to Nashville?"

Gwen nods, having assumed this question would arise. She has what she hopes is a mature and professional answer prepared.

"The reason behind my relocation to Nashville from Los Angeles is twofold," she says, keeping her voice confident and measured. "There is a personal element that brought me here with regards to my partner's music career."

She consciously chooses the word "partner" instead of "boyfriend," thinking it will sound more serious and stable. But when the word comes out of her mouth, she hopes she doesn't sound pretentious. 

"But," she adds, "I'm very excited to be here myself because the music community is so different in Nashville than in L.A. I want to explore that and learn everything I can. I love working around music production and performances, and theater venues in particular."

She tries not to seem overeager, but she can't help from leaning forward. "Um, my references are there at the bottom, if you need them, and I can give you more if you want."

Blake doesn't respond right away, just flicks his eyes over her before returning them back to her resume.

"It says here your first job was executive assistant to the manager of the Orwell Theatre in L.A.," he notes. "Right out of college?"

Gwen nods enthusiastically, pleased he asked. It's the job most similar to the one here that she hopes to obtain. “Yes, have you heard of it? It's been struggling for a little while, but it was really successful back in the 70s.”

She scolds herself silently, wondering if she should have said the "struggling" part. But Blake doesn't seem affected.

“Yes, I've heard of it,” is all he says in reply.

Gwen nods, looking back down at her hands in her lap. Blake grabs a black ink pen from a glass container on his desk and takes the cap off. His hand hovers over her resume.

“I don't know how familiar you are with the Majestic Theatre, but we host a concert or show of some kind almost every night of the week,” he says. “We've been a music venue in Nashville for about forty years. And we have a very good reputation.”

Gwen looks around the office, which features black and white photos from what she assumes are previous years' shows, framed and tastefully arranged on the walls.

“I've been needing a new assistant for about a month, since Wendy retired,” Blake continues. “And to be honest, I am in desperate need to get someone on board pretty quickly before I lose my mind. If you were hired, when would you be available to start?”

“As soon as possible,” Gwen replies confidently. “We just finished moving into our place last weekend, and now I'm ready to hit the ground running.”

Blake makes a notation on her resume, but she can't tell what he's written.

He stands up, and she follows suit, surprised that their interview seems to be over already.

“Thank you for coming in,” he says. “We'll be in touch.”

Gwen tries to keep a positive expression on her face, though Blake is unreadable. She has no idea if she's made any impression on him at all, good or bad. She reaches out and shakes his outstretched hand.

“Thank you, sir,” she says. “And like I said, if you need any additional references or any more information... please just let me know.”

As she departs his office and heads back down the hallway to the exit, she struggles not to feel discouraged. She was hoping Blake would be more amiable or at least give her some kind of idea with his expression or tone of voice whether she has a shot at this job, but he is completely indecipherable.

She has only been able to get one other job interview since arriving in Nashville last week — that one was for a receptionist’s job at a doctor's office. She'd much, much rather the job at the Majestic, to be so close to music, downtown, making better money, actually feeling like she could like what she does.

She heads back to her apartment with Gavin, a little one-bedroom, one-bathroom in East Nashville. They would have never had a shot at renting this place if it wasn't for the loan her parents had given her to help them get started with all the deposits they had to put down.

Even though she'd promised her parents to eventually pay back every cent, she isn't sure how soon she will be able to do that. If she doesn't get a job with decent pay, and if Gavin doesn't start getting some regular gigs here soon... they are going to be in trouble.

Gavin is lying back on their hand-me-down sofa, strumming on his guitar, when she enters through their front door.

“Come here,” he beckons, taking in her sullen expression. “You didn’t get the job?”

Gwen drops her purse on the floor by the door, kicks off her heels, and sits next to him, letting him wrap his left arm around her.

“I don't know yet. I need to keep looking just in case. I don't think the guy in charge was too impressed with me. He seemed a little confused about the fact that I'd left a great job and moved here from L.A. for no good reason.”

Gavin pretends to be offended. “What do you mean, 'no good reason'?” he asks, chuckling. “I think you made the best decision ever.”

“You know what I mean, I just... I would probably have a better chance at a good job if I had any roots in Nashville, or some connections,” she explains. “I haven't even heard back from that doctor's office yet.”

“You just have to keep trying,” Gavin says. “You'll find something.”

He releases her to go back to playing his guitar, and Gwen tries not to feel a little resentful. She's out pounding the pavement, just hoping to get a job she can tolerate to keep a roof over their heads, while he gets to focus on playing his music.

“I'm going to change and then make dinner,” she says, sighing as she steps over a pile of random stuff. They are still in the process of unpacking, and there are scattered boxes everywhere.

The mess just makes this small space — this entire city — feel even more confined.

* * *

Two days later, Gwen is curled up on the sofa with her laptop, hitting send on her tenth job application of the day, when her cell phone rings. The number is a Nashville area code, and she wonders if it's one of her job leads.

She answers the call, her stomach flipping.

"This is Blake Shelton, with the Majestic Theatre," the southern-accented voice on the other line says.

“Hi,” she responds, a little more high-pitched than she intended. “This is Gwen,” she confirms.

“Well, I was very impressed with your past experience, and I talked to some of your references this morning,” Blake says. “And if you're still interested, we'd like to offer you the job as my executive assistant.”

Gwen closes her eyes and smiles widely, hardly able to believe her luck.

“Yes sir, I am very much interested,” she says, unable to hide her enthusiasm.

Blake's voice remains even. “Great. We'll have you come in tomorrow to fill out some paperwork and do an employee drug screen, and assuming all that works out, we'll have you start next Monday. That work okay for you?”

Gwen nods, then verbally expresses her assent. “Thank you so much, Mr. Shelton, you won't regret it.”

He clears his throat. “You're welcome, and uh, just call me Blake, please. We'll see you soon.”

Gwen smiles to herself after hanging up the call.

“Yes, you will.”


	2. Chapter 2

Gwen realizes it was a mistake to show up twenty minutes early for her first day of work at the Majestic Theatre when she pulls on the door and finds it locked up tight.

She had been so eager to get there on time, buoyed by anticipation, that she hadn’t even thought about how she’d get in if no one else had arrived yet.

“I am so lame,” she mumbles to herself as she knocks on the door a few times, praying someone shows up soon.

Thankfully a brunette woman comes to the door and lets her inside, greeting her with a friendly smile.

"Hi, I'm Laney, and you must be Gwen," the woman says. "I'm box office supervisor here. Are you excited to get started? This is a fun place to work."

Gwen nods, following Laney down the hallway past several offices, most still darkened, their occupants not yet in for the day. Laney brings Gwen back to where she interviewed with Blake and motions to a desk set up right outside his office door.

"This is you," Laney says. "He should be in any minute, he's usually here pretty early. We'll get you a key card so you can access the outside door, and you'll get your own log-in for this computer, too. Until then, you can use mine."

Laney leans over and logs on to the computer. “Thank you so much,” Gwen says. “Where is your office?”

“I'm right down the hall, third door to the left,” Laney says. “Just holler if you need me.”

Gwen settles in at her desk, putting her purse away inside one of the empty drawers. A vintage-looking Rolodex — she didn't even know those still existed — sits next to her computer screen with what looks like hundreds of yellowed, wrinkled contact cards crammed inside.

She hears heavy footsteps approaching and looks up to see Blake walking toward her from down the hallway. She feels nervousness rise up in her again, but she tries to calm herself, giving herself a quick pep talk. She will be great at this job, she tells herself. She just knows it.

“Good morning,” Blake says quietly as he reaches her desk. “Sorry you beat me here. You’re earlier than I thought you would be.”

Gwen offers him a smile. “How are you doing?”

Blake nods instead of answering. “Want to come into my office?” he asks, but it's more of a statement.

Gwen gets up and follows him with a notepad and pen in her hands, sitting down in the same chair where she sat for her interview. Now that she's secured this job and is feeling slightly less on edge, she takes the time to examine her new boss as he sits behind his desk.

She doesn't know how to politely ask him how old he is, but she did some more online research the other day and found him listed on an alumni page for the University of Oklahoma, which stated that he'd graduated with a business management degree in 2009. That would make him about 31 or 32 now, most likely.

He is exceedingly handsome, she has to admit, and dressed tastefully in navy slacks, a white button-down shirt, and red tie.

It's impressive that he's managed to work his way up to his position so young. She wonders if she will eventually get comfortable enough with him to ask him how he did that.

“On your computer you'll see a shortcut to open a digital event planner,” Blake says as Gwen dutifully takes notes. “This is where you will keep my schedule of appointments, orders we need to make, booking details, deadlines, things like that. We have a great team here made up of a lot of moving parts, and my job is to make sure it all works together to be successful. That's what I need your help with.”

“Do you need me to be here for the night events we host?” she asks.

“Sometimes,” Blake replies. “It depends on the context. But we'll work your schedule around so that you don't go over your 40 hours a week, and if you do go over, you will be paid overtime.”

Overtime wouldn't be so bad, Gwen thinks. She and Gavin are going to need every dollar she can make.

“I wouldn't mind being at the events,” Gwen finds herself saying aloud. “I love live music.”

She kind of laughs, self-consciously. “But who in this town doesn't, right?”

Blake nods, looking down at a pad of paper on his desk. “Right,” he mutters.

“Are you a musician?” she asks, before she can stop herself. There is nothing about Blake so far that has indicated he welcomes her questioning him on a personal level, but it is in her nature to be inquisitive.

“What makes you think that?” he asks, quirking one eyebrow.

She quickly shakes her head. Not everyone who works in conjunction with music production actually creates music themselves — she's just curious what brought him to this line of work, and if an interest in making music himself had anything to do with it. 

“Oh, nothing, I was just wondering,” she says. “I'm not a musician myself. Well... I do like to sing a little, on my own, but I actually like writing more. I’ve written a few songs for my boyfriend, and I have a whole notebook of lyrics and things like that. But you know, it's just for fun, I guess.”

She doesn't know why she just felt the need to word vomit all of that to Blake, but for the first time that morning, his face displays something resembling a smile.

“So, uh, like I was saying, we will pay overtime if you need to work late,” he repeats himself. “In the event that we can't offset that time some other way by moving around your schedule.”

They move on, but Gwen notes to herself that he never really answered her question about his relationship to music.

The next few hours go by quickly, as Gwen tries to keep up with learning about all of her new job duties. Blake takes her on a tour of the offices, introducing her to her new coworkers before bringing her to the main auditorium where they hold all of their shows.

The theatre has that musty, old smell that seems to be universally the same no matter which theatre you go to. She loves it.

Listening as Blake expounds on some of the history of the theatre, she sees that his face is relaxed for the first time today. He's got a tenseness to him that she thinks must be somewhat purposeful — no one can be so rigid so consistently without a bit of effort.

But as he looks around, pointing out a miniature statue of a lion by the main doors — he tells her that lions were an obsession of the man who founded the theatre — she notices a twinkle in his eye and a dimple appearing in his cheek.

They return to his office, and she realizes that her stomach is twisting with hunger. It's well past noon, but she hadn't even thought about eating — she was too enthralled with learning the ropes from Blake.

As if he has read her mind — or maybe heard her stomach — Blake picks up his desk phone and summons someone on the other line, letting them know that it's time for lunch.

“It's customary to take an employee out to eat on their first day," he tells her. "Is that okay with you?"

It is more than okay with her. With no extra money to get takeout, she'd brought along a pitiful peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a granola bar in a brown paper bag. It was all currently sitting in her desk drawer. She is more than happy to forego that for a nice meal.

Laney and Roger, an older employee who serves as production manager, arrive at Blake's door, apparently their lunch partners today.

"We can just walk down the street to the restaurant," Blake tells the group. "That will be pretty quick."

Gwen falls silent as she listens to Blake, Laney, and Roger chat on their walk to lunch. They have a show in the theatre the next night, a folk band very popular in the region, and Laney says they're pretty close to selling out.

"It might be good for you to come to the show and see how we run the behind-the-scenes operations," Blake tells Gwen.

She nods in agreement. She'd been planning to go see Gavin play a gig, but work will have to come first.

The restaurant is a cozy and non-pretentious steak and spaghetti place on Common Street. The foursome are brought to their table, and Laney sits down next to Gwen.

"So, tell us all about yourself," Laney says. "Born and raised in California?"

Gwen nods. "Yes, grew up in Anaheim and I moved here from Los Angeles. I've been here for, oh, two whole weeks."

"Do you like it?" Roger asks.

It's a tough question, because while she'd love to talk about the few things she's struggling to get used to, she doesn't want to appear as if she's complaining, especially not in front of her boss. "It's great," she says. "My boyfriend is a musician — a singer and songwriter — and well, he's starting to rack up some gigs, so we'll see what happens."

"He moved here to be with you?" Laney asks, clearly unaware that Gwen didn’t come to Nashville specifically for this job.

Gwen chews the inside of her mouth. "No, the opposite, actually. We've been together three years, and this is his dream, you know, to have a music career, so I'm supporting him in that."

"You're a great girl," Roger says, smiling at her. Gwen smiles back gratefully. Blake remains quiet throughout their conversation, staring at his menu.

"What about you guys?" Gwen asks. "Do you have families here?"

Laney is a Tennessee native, she says, moved to Nashville fresh out of college. Her fiancé is an instructor at Vanderbilt and they plan to start building a house in Franklin after they get married.

Roger, who freely offers up that he is turning 65 in a few months, has a wife and three adult children, all spread around the country. He's been in event and production management for more than thirty years.

Gwen looks at Blake across from her to see if he will tell his story. "How long have you lived here?" she asks him.

"Uh, about five years," he says.

"Where are you from originally?" she asks. She figures Oklahoma is likely, since that's where he went to college, but she wouldn't know that if she hadn't Internet stalked him, so she waits for him to offer up that information.

"A little town called Ada, Oklahoma," he replies. He doesn't offer any additional information. Getting him to talk about anything other than the Majestic is like pulling teeth. Gwen sighs, giving it up for now.

When lunch is done, they walk back to the office, and Gwen wishes for nothing more than to curl up and take a nap. Blake isn't done with her yet, though.

"Let me help you get familiar with the programs on your computer that I need you to learn," he says. Gwen goes to sit down at her desk, and Blake pulls a rolling chair next to her, leaning over to take hold of the computer mouse.

He is so tall and so... solid... that she finds herself shrinking back a bit to give him room. As he moves the mouse around on the screen to pull up some of her planning programs, she inhales and notices the faint scent of Old Spice.

Blake turns his head and realizes how close his face is to hers, and he pulls back immediately. "Sorry," he murmurs sheepishly, maneuvering a little awkwardly now that he is trying to navigate using the computer while keeping a respectable distance from her.

Gwen smiles, feeling relieved that for once he seems a little more human and approachable. She knows that he's her boss, but she hopes they can develop a friendly working relationship, to make it easier on both of them.

When Blake is done showing her the programs, he pushes back from the desk, moving to stand.

"Where exactly is Ada anyway?" Gwen asks. "I've never heard of it."

Blake shrugs. "No reason you would have. It's a tiny place in southeastern Oklahoma."

He seems to play it off, but she can tell the subject is making him close off again. She's not sure why.

"So do you have any family here, like... a wife or... I mean, are you here alone or is all of your family still in Ada?" she asks, finding the question awkward to construct.

Blake's face goes blank, and Gwen regrets asking at all.

"I'm here alone," he says, his voice curt. "Well, I'm going to finish up some things in my office for the rest of the day. You can just use the rest of the time this afternoon getting used to your computer programs."

He walks away without another word, and Gwen sits back in her chair, feeling chagrined.

The temperature seemed to drop about 50 degrees when she brought up Ada and his family... and she doesn't know why. Something about those topics makes Blake go cold.

If she were a more sensible girl, perhaps his frigid reaction would make her determined not to bring those subjects up again.

Instead it makes her more curious.

* * *

Gavin is upset when he hears that Gwen can't come to his gig on Tuesday night, but she reminds him that she just started her new job and she has to go above and beyond to prove herself there.

"My boss specifically said it would be good for me to go," she says.

"Well, you're gonna miss a great show," Gavin grumbles. She sighs, wishing he could have a better attitude about this.

"You won't even miss me once you get up on stage," she says. "And I'll make the next one, I promise."

The next night, fans begin to line up outside the Majestic more than two hours ahead of showtime to attend the Ashland Brothers concert. The excitement in the air is contagious, and Gwen can't wait to see everything in action.

Staff are running around, getting things in place, setting up security lines and making last-minute adjustments to the stage, sound equipment, concessions areas.

Most of the actual event staff are part-time, so Gwen isn't sure how well she'll get to know them all. She hopes to make a lot of new friends at work, but so far Laney is the only viable option she's met, close enough in age and situation... except Laney seems a lot more settled and stable than Gwen feels, still finding her way around here.

Gwen locates Blake backstage, and he points to an elevated area on the side of the stage with a handful of seats.

"We can sit up there and watch the show," he says. "You can see everything going on from up there."

Gwen breathes out with excitement, though she feels a little useless because she doesn't actually have much to do with the execution of the event tonight. But she knows that eventually, as she gets more knowledgeable in her job, she will be playing a big part in helping make these shows run successfully.

As the band begins playing, Blake and Gwen sit mostly in silence, listening to the music. Every now and then Blake leans over to speak in her ear, pointing out something going on production-wise that he wants her to notice.

At one point the song being played is so poignant, she leans back in her seat and finds herself closing her eyes, taking in the lyrics. When her eyelids flutter open, she sees with her peripheral vision that Blake is watching her. She turns to him, and he looks away.

"I really like them," she leans in and says to him, trying to make eye contact. He doesn't turn to look at her again, but he nods in agreement.

"We were fortunate to get them," he replies impassively.

After the show, Gwen stays behind to see what happens when the audience leaves — she's not a stranger to this kind of operation, but it's interesting to see the minutiae of how this theatre does things a little differently versus the theatre she once worked at back home. She sees Blake talking with Roger, and he looks up, catches her eye, and waves her over.

"You can head out now," Blake tells her. "Thank you for staying."

"Of course," Gwen says, smiling warmly. "I loved it so much."

The employee parking area is on the backside of the theatre, with an electronic gate so that only those with the code can enter and exit via their cars. When she gets to the lot, she can see thanks to a streetlight directly above her car that her back driver's side tire is as flat as a pancake.

"Oh, shit," she says to herself, hurrying over to look at it.

She hasn't been out to her car since this morning, when she first arrived to work. The only thing she can guess is that she must have run over something on her way there, something that slowly deflated her tire while she was away from it all day.

Pulling her phone out of her purse, she calls Gavin, knowing the effort is in vain. He's most likely nearing the end of his set right now, but there's no telling how much time is left before he'll actually look at his phone.

Just as she suspected, her call goes straight to his voicemail. She pulls up the Internet browser on her phone and starts looking up tire places. Of course, everything is closed.

Should she call a roadside assistance service? Her dad always had Triple A, but she couldn't afford to pay for a membership herself. How much do those things cost? Maybe she can just call an Uber and go home, though she’s not sure how expensive that will turn out to be.

As she stands there debating what to do, and what she can even afford to do, she hears footsteps approaching. Her heart starts beating faster as she reaches down to grip the pepper spray in her purse.

Looking in the direction of the footsteps, she sees a figure start to emerge from the shadows — Blake. Her heart rate decreases, and she releases the pepper spray.

"You okay?" he calls when he sees her, sounding confused. "I thought you'd be outta here by now."

Gwen nods and then kicks her flat tire. "The streets of Nashville had other plans," she says glumly.

Blake reaches her and looks down at her tire. "Damn," he says. "Do you have a spare in your trunk?"

Gwen nods. She has never changed a tire in her life, though, and wasn't about to try for the first time in this desolate parking lot.

"Yeah, but I don't know how to... I think I'm going to get an Uber home and figure this out in the daylight." She suddenly feels so exhausted, the tiring, long day catching up to her. She just wants to be home in her own bed.

"Do you have a flashlight in your car?" Blake asks.

"I think so," she says, hesitant. "Why?"

Blake starts rolling up his sleeves until they are past his elbows. "I've changed about a hundred tires in my life, it feels like. The light above us is okay, but if you can hold a flashlight where I need it, I can change your tire for you."

Gwen is suddenly embarrassed, wishing she knew how to do it herself. Damsel in distress is not a role she wants to play.

"Are you sure?" she asks. "Seriously, I can just leave it and deal with it tomorrow. I know you probably want to get home."

"Nonsense," Blake says. "Wanna pop your trunk?"

Gwen reluctantly opens her trunk and helps Blake get her temporary spare tire and all the tools out onto the ground. She finds the huge flashlight she keeps in her glove compartment, thankful the batteries still work, then stands above Blake as he starts to jack up her car.

She mostly keeps quiet as he works, making sure he has plenty of light, but as he starts finishing up installing the spare tire, she smiles to herself.

"Hundreds of tires, huh? Worked for NASCAR or something?" she asks.

"Nah," Blake says with a chuckle, putting the flat tire and the tools back in her trunk. His hands are filthy, as is his white shirt. He doesn't seem to care.

"I was probably exaggerating on the number, but the roads where I grew up could be pretty terrible in some places. I learned real young how to change a tire, helping my dad."

“He must be proud of your expertise,” she comments.

“Oh, well, he passed away a few years back,” Blake says matter-of-factly.

Gwen’s face falls, and she wants to kick herself. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

They stand in silence for a second, and Gwen looks back down at the spare tire. "I wish I knew how to do that," she says, more to herself than to him.

Blake shrugs. "Never too late to learn something new."

She catches his eye, giving him a grateful smile. "That's true. So... I don't know how to repay you for this, I really owe you."

Blake waves his hand. "It was nothing. This will get you home and to a tire shop in the morning. If you need to come in late tomorrow so that you can take care of that, it's no problem."

Gwen chews her lip. "Thank you so much, Mr... Blake. Um, I think I have..." she trails off as she reaches back into her car and pulls out some wet wipes from the middle console. She takes a handful and holds them out to him.

"For your hands," she says. "And I'm sorry about your shirt."

Blake takes the wipes and scrubs at his forearms and fingers, then shoves the dirty wipes into his pocket.

"It's just a shirt," he replies, giving her a small smile.

His smiles are so few and far between, she’s starting to feel like she's won some kind of prize when she actually sees one on his face.

"Get home safe," he says, heading toward his truck. Gwen gets in her own vehicle, cranking up the engine.

She notices that Blake waits, seeing her drive safely out of the parking lot, before he puts his truck in reverse.

* * *

Gwen is asleep when Gavin gets home, stirring when she feels him sliding into bed beside her.

"Is that a donut on your car?" he asks, waking her further.

"Mmm-hmm," she replies, shutting her eyes tighter.

"What happened?"

"I don't know," she murmurs, her mind not fully functioning enough to have a coherent conversation. "Must have ran over something. Blake changed it for me after work."

"Who the hell is Blake?" Gavin asks, sounding thoroughly confused.

Gwen sighs deeply, wishing he'd let her go back to sleep. “My boss. I told you that already.”

Gavin’s tension lessens, and he seems to relax. "Oh, okay."

Gwen peeks one eye open, looking at the time and seeing that it's already past 2 a.m. Gavin's set was over hours ago, and yet he's just now arriving home?

She'd ask him what's up with that, but she's too tired to start anything now. She’ll have to remember to talk to him about it later.

In just a few seconds, she is drifting back to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

The little dive bar is already crowded as Gwen makes her way near the stage, searching for Gavin. She hopes to get a good spot up close to watch him as he performs with the makeshift band he’s put together since getting to Nashville, but this tiny place is already jam-packed with revelers who showed up for the previous act that started an hour ago.

Looking around at the faces in the room, Gwen wonders if she might see anyone she knows. It’s a silly thought, though. She still only really knows the people she works with, and this hole of a place doesn’t seem like the kind of establishment where any of them would come hang out.

She finally spots Gavin ordering a drink, but instead of trying to make her way to him through the crush of people, she decides to wait it out and get his attention when he gets on stage. Watching him lean over the bar, talking to a pretty blonde bartender, Gwen tries to push down a niggling thought in the back of her mind.

You said you were going to trust him, she tells herself.

Easier said than done.

A little over a year ago, he had cheated on her with a girl in his old band. Discovering the betrayal — not from his own mouth but from the girl’s tearful confession — had been devastating, and they’d broken up for a few weeks.

But Gwen was weak, and after a sufficient amount of begging and groveling from him, she’d slowly let Gavin back in. Let him back in so successfully that now she was here, at a bar in a city thousands of miles from the only home she'd ever known, watching from afar as he smiles charmingly at the flirty bartender.

Gwen tries to push her resentful thoughts back down. They won’t help anything. Forgiveness is what’s important. And trust. He promised her.

She waits it out a few more minutes until his set begins, and he finally spots her once he’s up on stage, giving her a little wave before launching into the first song. But once the music starts, he’s in his own world, zoned out. She is just another face in the crowd, the crowd he wants to adore him.

Gwen cranes her head back to see the pretty bartender smiling and singing along with Gavin’s lyrics. Gwen narrows her eyes. This girl already knows the words to his songs, and he’s played here, what, three times?

After the show, Gwen returns to their apartment with Gavin following behind her in his own car. No staying out until 2 a.m. this time.

“Sorry to get you home so early,” she comments wryly when he arrives home shortly after her.

“What does that mean?” he asks, sounding cautious as he puts his guitar case down.

“Nothing, just… I know you’ve been getting home really late some nights. But I’m so tired from work usually, I’m just not up to that kind of late night during the week anymore.”

She waits for him to volunteer an explanation or reassurance that he doesn’t plan on making a habit of keeping such late hours, but he doesn’t say anything at all. They make their way to the bedroom, and Gwen decides to persist in trying to get some of her questions answered.

“Seems like you’ve made a lot of friends here already,” she remarks as she changes into her pajama pants and camisole top to sleep in. “Like, uh… well, who was the bartender you were talking to when I got there? I don’t think I’ve met her.”

Gavin shrugs off his shirt, grabbing a towel as he starts to head to the shower. He shakes his head.

“Who, Mindy? She’s just a bartender that works there. I barely know her.”

Gwen nods, pulling the covers down on the bed. “Oh… okay.”

Gavin starts running the water in the shower, then sticks his head back into the bedroom. “Don’t fall asleep on me,” he says, giving her a wink. Gwen tries to muster a smile, but she’s still got something bothering her in the back of her mind, and it’s a feeling that’s not going away.

She lays there in bed, waiting for him to finish his shower, and she forces her mind to wander away from the bar and back to her workday earlier.

She’d made a last-second decision to splurge and get a coffee from Frothy Monkey before heading into the office. She knows from watching him the last couple of weeks that Blake usually drinks his coffee black, so she’d picked up a dark roast blend for him along with her own oat milk latte.

The surprised and warm look he had flashed her when she handed him the drink pretty much made her day.

She finds that she wants to please him, and while a big part of that is of course due to him being her boss — she wants him to think she’s good at her job, obviously — another part of her can sense there is a loneliness inside of him that he tries to hide. She wants to help him with that, she wants to be his friend.

She just wants to make him feel a little less alone.

* * *

October turns to November, and the more brisk fall weather is just another thing Gwen has to get used to in Nashville. How she longs for California’s consistent sunshine.

She decides to take advantage of her new home’s climate, buying a couple of cute but cheap coats and a pair of heeled boots suitable to wear to work.

She always wants to look nice, but there’s something about this job in particular that has made her up her game. She has found herself taking much longer to get ready in the morning than what it used to take for any of her old jobs.

But her inspiration to go above and beyond isn't limited to just her appearance.

Every day she gets a little more efficient at what she does. She’s getting to where she often knows to do something before Blake even tells her to do it, and it’s always a gratifying feeling when he expresses his satisfaction with her work.

He usually makes it to work before her, but one Monday morning she’s surprised to get to her desk and see that his office is still dark.

She sits down and opens up the calendar, looking to see if he has an appointment she forgot about or something. But nothing is lined up until this afternoon.

It’s disconcerting, not knowing where he is, when her job is basically to know everything he is doing during the waking hours, until he goes home. Wherever home is for him.

She starts typing up an email to Laney, to ask if she knows where Blake is this morning, when she hears his footsteps down the hall. Somehow she knows the distinct sound of his footsteps now, how to differentiate them from everyone else’s.

“Hey,” she greets him when he comes into view. She tries to give him a teasing smile. “Miss your alarm this morning?”

The corners of his mouth turn up in a polite way, but it’s a weak attempt at a smile. Gwen sits up straight. “Everything okay?”

Blake unlocks his office door and pushes it open. “Can you come see for a second?” he asks, moving inside. Gwen follows and closes the door behind her, sensing that they may need some privacy for whatever he’s about to tell her.

“Everything okay?” she asks again, her stomach tightening. Did she do something wrong? Is he going to fire her?

“Yeah, I just, uh… I have an extra errand I need you to do for me,” he says. “It’s… personal.”

Gwen sits down on the chair with her pen ready to write, eyeing him closely. Something personal?

“Of course,” she responds. “Anything.”

Blake nods and looks through his desk drawer, pulling a business card out from the clutter and handing it to her.

“Can you call this place and order two bouquets of roses? White, maybe, or pink… whatever you think is best. And uh, I’ll email you the addresses of where to have them sent.”

Gwen examines the card. It’s a flower shop in Ada, Oklahoma.

“Sure,” she says, looking up at him. “Anything in particular you want the cards with the flowers to say?”

Blake shrugs, avoiding eye contact with her. “Um, just say something like, ‘I’m thinking about you, I love you.’ I’m not good with that type of stuff, maybe you can think of something.”

Gwen nods, writing a note to herself. She taps the pen against the notepad, wondering how to gently pull more information out of Blake without stepping on his toes.

She wonders why he can't bring himself to order the flowers personally.

“Blake? … It would probably help if I knew what the flowers were for.”

Blake stares at his computer screen but gives her a sidelong glance. She notices his neck is a pale shade of pink, and his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows.

He sighs and pushes back from his desk, seemingly making a split decision to tell her whatever it is on his mind.

“Tomorrow is the anniversary of my brother’s death, so I just wanted to send my mom and my sister something nice,” he says finally, meeting Gwen’s eyes. “That’s all.”

“Oh.” Gwen, for once, is at a loss for words as she struggles to think of what to say. He not only already lost his dad, but his brother, too?

“I’m so sorry, how long ago…?”

“I was 14,” Blake replies, his voice soft. “It was a car accident. Anyway, uh… it’s been awhile but it’s still a hard day, so. Flowers might help, right?”

Gwen nods quickly, unable to take her eyes off his face. “Absolutely, I’m sure they’ll appreciate it very much.”

Blake seems to be fidgeting now, somewhat uncomfortable with having exposed such a personal detail to her. She wishes he was more at ease with her, and she wonders if that will only come when she herself makes an effort to be more open with him.

“I’ve never lost a sibling,” she begins, taking a steady breath. “But I lost a good friend, uh, in high school. He was the most outgoing, brightest guy I knew, we all looked up to him. And then one day, he committed suicide.”

Gwen squeezes her eyes shut, thinking back on that devastating day. “My friends and I were so shocked, and it was just so tragic. There was so much guilt, too, about what we could have or should have done to help him…”

She opens her eyes to find that Blake is staring at her, a sad expression on his face. “Anyway,” she concludes, “I can only imagine what it’s like to lose a brother.”

Blake continues to stare at her, the softness in his eyes making her want to cry. “I’m sorry about your friend,” he says finally.

On instinct, she leans in closer to the desk and places her hand on Blake’s. It's quite possibly the first time they have even purposefully touched since their farewell handshake on the day of her job interview. She is only able to give his hand a momentary squeeze before he snatches it away suddenly, as if she has just burned him.

Gwen leans back, feeling heat creep up to her face at how quickly he withdrew from her. She doesn’t know what to say.

“If you can get those ordered to be delivered tomorrow, that would be great," Blake says, his voice back to all business. "I’ll send you the names and addresses.”

Gwen stands up, smoothing down her skirt. She regards him for an extra moment, perplexed about what just happened and why his demeanor changed so suddenly.

“Yes, sir,” she says finally, turning on her heel.

* * *

Laney smiles at Gwen as she joins her in the break room, which is fitted with vending machines, a microwave, refrigerator, and coffee maker.

“How’s it going?” Laney asks as Gwen makes herself a cup of coffee.

“All right,” Gwen says, her mind still contemplating all her boss’s complexities. She doesn’t realize her own distraction until Laney stands next to her, nudging her on the shoulder.

“Did you hear what I said? I asked how your boyfriend’s music is going,” Laney says, kind of chuckling at Gwen’s spaciness.

“I’m sorry, Laney,” Gwen sighs in apology. “My mind is just inundated with work stuff right now. His music is going well, I guess. He plays a few places a week and spends a lot of time working on songs with his band.”

Gwen sits down at the table, with Laney following close behind to join her.

“Is Blake working you too hard?” Laney asks lightly, making clear she’s only joking.

Gwen purses her lips before blowing on her coffee to cool it down. “How long have you known him?” 

“Hmm, I’ve been here over three years, and he was here when I started.”

Looking over at the door to make sure no one’s lurking, Gwen leans closer and lowers her voice. “What is his story, do you know? He’s so…”

“Serious?” Laney offers.

“Yeah. I’ve been getting to know him better, and figuring out how to work best under him, but he’s still really hard to read sometimes,” Gwen says. “I don’t know when I’ve done something wrong.”

“Well, he would tell you if you did something wrong — nicely,” Laney assures her.

Gwen frowns, still unsure. “How did he get along with Wendy, the woman I replaced?”

“She’d been here about twenty years, treated him like a grandson. You’re definitely a big change from her just because you’re so much younger, so pretty. You caused a little stir your first day here, by the way, after Blake brought you around for introductions,” Laney laughs. “Some of the stage techs were super sad to find out you have a boyfriend. I had the pleasure of breaking that news.”

Gwen laughs a little at that. She taps her nails on the side of her coffee cup and turns the subject back to the object of her current detective work. “Do you know anything about Blake’s family, what he did before he moved here?”

Laney shakes her head.

“Okay, well what about since he moved here? Does he have friends, a girlfriend?” Gwen hopes she doesn’t sound like a weirdo for digging for this information. She’s just so curious about what makes him tick, and Blake won’t give her a single detail.

“He’s not had a serious girlfriend since I’ve known him,” Laney says, appearing to be thinking back. “I think he maybe has had a casual date here and there… but not in a while. Maybe over six months ago is the last time I remember him vaguely mentioning going to dinner with a girl. But of course, he gave no real details. They never last much longer than that. One dinner.”

“But he’s so…” Gwen trails off, feeling herself blush at what she’s trying to say.

“Dreamy?” Laney laughs. “You can say it, just us girls here. I know! He’s so attractive, but I guess the emotional unavailability cancels that out. Can’t make him their boyfriend when he won’t let them get close to him, you know?”

Gwen finishes her coffee and gets up to throw the cup away. “Thanks for the work gossip,” she jokes on her way to the door.

At least she knows she’s not the only one who Blake keeps at arm’s length.

* * *

Gwen is still working when Blake comes out of his office, turning out his light and locking the door.

He’d barely spoken to her since that morning when he’d asked her to order the flowers, communicating mostly through email when he needed something for the rest of the day.

She struggles not to let it hurt her feelings, already detecting that there are just some things about him she’s not going to understand. She knows she can’t take it personally.

Blake doesn’t seem to let anyone close to him; why would she be the exception?

“Leaving for the day?” she asks quietly, not expecting any explanation from him about where he’s going. She’s right — he doesn’t offer her one.

“Yeah, I’ll see you in the morning,” he says, putting his keys in his pocket. He is a few steps past her desk when she feels the urge to say one more thing to him.

“Blake,” she calls, and he turns around to look at her.

“I ordered white roses, for both of them,” she updates him. “They’ll be delivered tomorrow morning, first thing.”

“Thank you.” Blake pauses, looking like he wants to say something else, but he just nods.

She wonders if he will reconsider and tell her whatever it is on his mind, but he turns again and heads down the long hallway. Gwen sits still and listens as the main exit door opens and closes.

It’s not until the door slams shut that she realizes she was holding her breath, waiting to see if he would turn back around.

* * *

The next morning, Gwen is once again at her desk before Blake arrives. She remembers that this is officially the anniversary of his brother's death, and she wonders if he's going to call in and say he's staying home.

Instead, she hears the employee door open and slam shut, and she peeks around the corner to see him walking down the hall with two Frothy Monkey to-go cups in his hands. So, he's late because of a coffee run.

She expects him to turn off somewhere, enter someone's office with the drinks, but instead he moves forward until he reaches her desk, where he stops and turns, looking down at her.

"Good morning," she says cautiously. She realizes she still has some residual hurt feelings from the way he withdrew from her yesterday, after they had both shared something so personal with each other. It felt like they were making progress, and then she'd done something wrong in his eyes, apparently misconstrued his politeness for his willingness to receive her sympathy.

Blake places one of the coffee cups down on her desk.

"Uh, you get oat milk lattes usually, right?" he asks. There is something more vulnerable in his eyes than she can recall seeing before, and she is taken aback by how touched she is over his gesture. How did he know what her drink of choice is? He must have remembered her saying something about her coffee order once.

Her cheeks warm with pleasure as she takes in what she thinks this really is — his thanks and his apology for yesterday.

"Thank you so much," she says, beaming up at him. "You didn't have to, but I really need this this morning." She's not just talking about the coffee, either.

He nods but seems to try and play it off as no big deal. "You're welcome."

Gwen watches his back as he turns to open his office door, and she can't keep from smiling in his direction.

She'll get him to come around soon enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of y'all's comments so far! I tagged this "slow burn" but they will be progressively getting closer and closer in the upcoming chapters.


	4. Chapter 4

With Christmas quickly approaching, Gwen is grateful to discover that the Majestic is going to let all its employees off on the surrounding days so they can celebrate with their families.

She is even more grateful when her parents offer to fly her and Gavin back to California for a couple of days so they can all be together.

It’s been more than three months since she’s seen them, and that’s definitely the longest she’s gone without being able to hug her mom in her entire life.

She and Gavin were forced to stay in Nashville over Thanksgiving since she had to work the following day and he had a gig that weekend, so she’d picked up a pre-cooked smoked turkey and made macaroni and cheese. They’d eaten in their tiny kitchen together and then watched football for the rest of the day. It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t home.

She’s so glad Christmas will be different.

Before her mini vacation away, though, she just has to get through one more week of work, as well as their office Christmas party.

It’s hardly a burden to bear. Three months in and she still loves coming in to work, helping Blake manage the intricate details it takes to run a music venue and provide quality entertainment almost every night.

While they haven’t talked about his family again in the weeks following his disclosure about his brother, things have improved significantly between them since he brought her the coffee that day. It was like an olive branch. Since then, Blake has been more genial with her, almost cheerful some days, and she’s gratefully accepted this new transition into what she hopes will continue to be a blossoming work relationship.

Looking back, she can see the baby steps they have made, all getting them somewhere even if it's been at a turtle’s pace. But the progress between them still feels tenuous, and she just hopes she doesn’t screw it up somehow.

He’s such an enigma to her. She finds herself watching him sometimes, when he’s distracted by something else.

When he lets his hair get a little longer, it curls at the ends, and sometimes she wants to reach over and pull one of the curls just to watch it bounce back into place.

It’s a weird fixation, and she laughs at the absurdity of the thought. This must be what happens when you spend day in and day out with someone; you eventually notice every detail about them.

Like how he is dressed to the nines every single day, except for his shoes. His dark brown leather shoes are scuffed and look worn, but he never wears another pair. Why is that?

And his ears. When he’s concentrating really hard on something, he tugs at his earlobes. She wonders if he even notices it himself. She wonders what he would say if she told him that she had noticed.

She is watching him now, as she sits across from his desk writing down a list of tasks he needs her to cover, tugging on his earlobes as he tries to remember something he can’t put his finger on. She quirks her mouth upward, trying not to giggle. He hears the sound catch in her throat and looks up, his eyebrows raising.

“What?” he asks, cocking his head to the side.

“Nothing,” Gwen says, her smile growing bigger.

He shakes his head. “Tell me.”

“It’s nothing,” she insists, feeling her face turn red. But she can’t stop giggling.

“If you don’t tell me…” he warns, but she has managed to make him smile too, her victory for the day.

“Okay, don’t be mad, it’s just…” Gwen tugs on her ears, showing him what he does. “You notice how much you do that?”

Blake shakes his head. “What? I don’t do that.”

Gwen’s eyes grow twice in size. “ _Yes_ , you do. I watch you do it every single day!”

“What? No.”

Gwen shakes her head, laughing again. “Okay, whatever you say, I just made it up.”

Blake shakes his head and chuckles to himself, turning back to the computer. Five minutes later, the second she sees his hand reach up to his ear, she points at him.

“Look what you’re doing right now.”

Blake pauses, frozen with his fingers on his earlobe. He drops his hand to the desk.

“Oh.”

Gwen smiles to herself, smug. “I told you,” she sings underneath her breath.

* * *

Gavin says he can’t get out of the gig he booked that happens to fall on the same night as Majestic’s employee Christmas party.

“They’re paying us forty percent of what they make off the cover charge,” he says. “I can’t cancel, the guys will kill me.”

Gwen assures him that she understands. The truth is, she’s not quite ready for him to meet her coworkers, to meet Blake. She has kept her work life and her home life completely separate so far, and she’s not sure what it would look like to bring them together.

The party is being held in an event space at the historical Hermitage Hotel, and all Majestic employees, full-time and part-time, are invited to attend. Hors d'oeuvres, drinks, and dancing are all on the agenda, and Gwen can’t wait to cut loose for a night out somewhere that isn’t a seedy bar or sweaty, jam-packed club where Gavin is playing.

The suggested attire for the party is “dressy,” so she selects a dark green, backless cocktail dress to wear with gold heels — very festive. Pinning her blonde hair up in a chignon, she completes the look with small pearl earrings.

“How do I look?” she asks Gavin as she goes to head out the door. He is also getting ready to leave for his show.

He examines her, expressionless, and she suddenly feels a little uncomfortable. She thought his response would be simple, immediate.

“My hot ass girlfriend is going off looking like that without me,” he remarks, sounding disappointed if not possessive.

Gwen is a little surprised at his demeanor. “Well, to the first half of that sentence, thank you? And the second half, that’s… just how it has to be, you have to work,” she says, determined not to feel guilty because she’s doing something fun without him. “You’ll have a great show, make a lot of money, have a great time. I’ll see you when I get back. I doubt I’ll be there too long anyway.”

She is a little late getting to the party, so as soon as she arrives she picks up a glass of white wine and surveys the room. Laney is here with her fiancé, Jay, and Roger is here with his wife, Marilyn. Tom, the stage manager, has a female companion with him, but Gwen’s not sure who it is. James, the sound technician, is here with his husband, Matt.

Seems like everyone’s got a date but her. She takes a big gulp of her wine and walks around to look at some of the items out for the silent auction, the proceeds of which will benefit the children’s hospital. She writes her bid on a few things — tickets to the Opry and dinner for two — then makes her way to the food table.

That’s where she sees Blake for the first time, wearing the same thing he was wearing at work earlier that day. She’s pretty sure he’s only got three ties — red, black, and gray. Today it’s the red one, and she wonders if he wore it on purpose because it’s a Christmas color. Somehow she doubts it. She makes her way over, happy to see him.

“What looks good?” she asks, her eyes scanning the spread in front of them.

Blake holds up his little plate, which he has heaped with crackers, cheese, caviar, and olives. “It’s bird food,” he remarks sullenly, which makes her laugh.

“It’s not meant to be dinner, I don’t think,” she says. “Maybe they’ll bring out some of those little meatballs in a crockpot later.”

Blake shakes his head at her joke. “I feel like this kind of place thinks it’s above meatballs.”

They start to walk over to a chest-high table, where Gwen sets down her drink. “Didn’t you pick this place?” she asks. He’d told her to book this hotel for the party a couple of months ago, and she’d assumed it was all his idea.

“Hell no,” Blake responds, shaking his head. “If it were up to me, we’d be at Buffalo Wild Wings.” Gwen laughs.

“This is where they have the employee Christmas party every single year, from well before I ever got here,” he explains. “There would be an uprising if someone picked a different place.”

She wants to say that she’s surprised to see him there, if only because she’s never really seen him anywhere outside of work. But technically this is still work for him, because he’s the boss and so of course he’d be obligated to make an appearance at the employee party. Setting an example of camaraderie, morale, etcetera.

She looks around, deciding to ask the question even though she is pretty sure she already knows the answer.

“Did you bring a date with you?” she asks. Blake shakes his head and takes a sip of his drink.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” he asks. “Playing somewhere?”

Gwen is surprised to hear him mention Gavin, since he’s never specifically asked about her boyfriend before, not directly anyway. She’s mentioned Gavin here and there, when it was natural to mention him in conversation, but otherwise they don’t speak of him.

“Yeah, he had a show,” she says.

“You didn’t want to go to that instead?” Blake asks.

Gwen shakes her head. She really didn’t. She’s been to countless shows of Gavin’s since they moved here, and well, it’s gotten a little old. She’d much rather be here, where she is right now.

“And miss out on the free drinks and bird food?” she jokes. “Never.”

She looks around the room, wondering how many people are going to end up packed in here. It’s filling up pretty quickly, and she’s starting to feel a little warm.

When she turns her head back to Blake, she finds him raking his eyes over her dress.

She pauses, feeling a little self-conscious. There’s no way he was just checking her out, she tells herself. She can’t even fathom him ever looking at her in that way. Right?

She wonders instead if the dress is inappropriate for the party — she definitely went back and forth on whether she should go with the backless feature, but ultimately she decided it was a still a tasteful choice. Maybe she was wrong.

“Your Christmas tie is nice,” she jokes, hoping to distract him just in case he is in fact thinking that she made a dress code faux pas.

“Christmas tie?” Blake looks down at the red cloth in confusion. She laughs — he’s worn this tie at least twice a week since she started in September.

Laney and her fiancé, Jay, join them then, and Laney introduces Jay to Gwen since Blake has already met him before.

“You look stunning,” Lacey whispers to her as they hug hello. “Wow.”

Gwen feels herself flush, and she smiles modestly. “Thank you. So do you.”

Laney links arms with Jay, and Gwen grins at the sight of them, at how cute they are together. They’re getting married in about two months, and Laney dropped off an invitation at Gwen’s desk the other day, telling her that she’d love to see Gwen there.

“What are you guys doing for Christmas?” Laney asks both Blake and Gwen. Gwen’s face lights up.

“I get to go back to California for a few days,” she says. “I can’t wait to see my mom and dad.”

Blake glances at her, and she thinks she detects a hint of fondness on his face.

“Blake, staying here?” Laney asks, sounding like she already knows the answer.

“You know me,” he replies, popping an olive into his mouth. Gwen looks at him, surprised. Does he ever go back to Oklahoma? Not even for Christmas?

“Are you and Roger going to do your thing Christmas morning?” Laney asks.

Blake nods quickly, and Gwen doesn’t let the moment pass.

“What thing?” she asks.

“They serve food at the rescue mission together once a month and on Christmas,” Laney says. “Roger’s been doing it for decades, and he introduced Blake to it when he started at Majestic. Right, Blake?”

Blake nods. “Roger is a saint,” he says wryly. “I just try to do ten percent of what he does, and I figure that might be enough to get me into heaven.”

Gwen smiles at him, impressed by his volunteerism. “What else are you doing on Christmas?” she presses. “After you serve at the rescue mission?”

Blake regards her with a questioning look. “Watching football,” he says succinctly. He turns to Laney and Jay. “What about you guys?”

The couple gushes excitedly about their upcoming Christmas trip to Gatlinburg, then excuses themselves to go get another drink.

Once they’re gone, Gwen looks up at Blake, a sadness creeping over her again at the thought of him spending the holiday by himself.

“I can’t believe you’re going to be here alone on Christmas,” she says, not with pity in her voice, but concern. Caring.

Maybe it’s the wine she’s had tonight, maybe it’s the darkened room and the booming music that makes their space together seem more intimate, more private than it really is. But something makes Gwen lift her hand and try to do again what she did in his office before — place it on top of his, which is resting on the tabletop.

Blake looks down at her hand on his, then back up at her. She holds his gaze, trying to convey to him that he doesn’t have to be so closed off. He can be open with her if he wants to.

After a moment, he gives her a small smile and then gently pulls his hand away. Still, it’s an improvement over last time.

“Don’t worry about me,” he says softly, so quiet she almost can’t hear him. “I’ll be fine. I am fine.”

And though she doesn’t believe him, she gives him a reassuring smile to make him think that she does.

* * *

Christmas Day is always an exciting event for the Stefanis, with all of Gwen’s siblings, her sister-in-law, nieces and nephews, grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles congregating at her parents’ house to celebrate together.

She doesn’t even let it bother her that she and Gavin have a flight back to Nashville tomorrow afternoon, and that her time with her family has gone by too quickly. Thinking about having to leave them has filled her with dread a few times already during her trip, but today, she is content.

It’s when she’s sitting around the huge banquet table at lunch, eating her second helping of food and smiling at her brothers loudly debating some sports topic, that she thinks about Blake for probably the fifth time that day. Spending Christmas with his television.

She pushes away from the table and grabs her phone off the kitchen counter. Tennessee is two hours ahead of them, so she figures he's home from the rescue mission by now. 

_Merry Christmas!_ she texts him, deciding to keep it light. _I hope Santa didn’t skip your house._

She doesn’t expect him to text back, honestly, but within a few minutes, her phone vibrates once. She looks down at the reply. He’s ignored her joke for a more genuine sentiment. 

_Merry Christmas_ , he writes back. _I hope you’re having a great time with your family._

She is reading it over again when she’s startled by her boyfriend’s voice.

“What are you smiling about?” he asks, coming closer to put his arm around her.

Gwen flushes, pressing the phone to her chest. “Was I smiling? I… I was just looking at pictures I took earlier.”

She doesn’t know why she lies to him, except that she just doesn’t want to get into it over something he might blow out of proportion. It’s Christmas.

“Why don’t we go sit in front of the fireplace, and you can show them to me,” Gavin suggests.

She nods, letting him guide her to the living room. Her phone buzzes again, and her heart rate spikes. Trailing behind Gavin just slightly so that his back is to her, she looks at the phone again to see a second message from Blake. He’s texted her a picture of a six-pack of Natty Ice sitting on what she guesses is his coffee table.

_This is what I got from Santa. He’s a cheap bastard._

She laughs to herself, surprised at his playfulness with her, and then is warmed to see a third message come in.

_Have a safe trip back here._

She sends back a laughing emoji and a “Thank you, I will,” reply to him, then slips the phone into her pocket.

For the first time since getting to California two days ago, she’s looking forward to going back to Nashville.


	5. Chapter 5

Gwen drops the bundle of chocolate bars, tied together with ribbon, on Blake’s desk, her lips turning up in a smile as she watches him register what it is she’s brought him.

“What is this for?”

“A little piece of California,” she says. “A late Christmas present, if you will. These are some chocolate bars from my favorite little shop in Anaheim. I brought a bunch back with me... and I’ve seen you sneaking those little bags of Hershey’s kisses into your desk — I’m on to how much you like chocolate.”

Blake allows a small laugh, but Gwen can tell he is pleased. “Thank you, I appreciate it, truly. And welcome back. How was your trip to see your family?”

Gwen lets out a happy sigh. “Much needed. And now I’m recharged and ready to get back to work. How long is my to-do list before the New Year’s Eve show?”

Blake grimaces. “Do you really want to know?”

He holds up the bundle of chocolates. “Maybe you want a piece before you go check your email?”

Gwen laughs at his teasing, not even phased about the fact that he’s only partially joking.

“Don’t worry, I got this,” she says, turning to go back to her desk.

“I know you do,” she hears him say from behind her.

* * *

It’s the night before New Year’s Eve, and Gwen is working late to help Blake get some last-minute details nailed down before the big holiday concert they’re hosting.

“When is the production truck getting here again?” Blake asks, tapping his pen against his desk.

“Four p.m.,” Gwen responds, remembering off the top of her head. “Do you want me to have them come a different time?”

“No, that’s fine. The alcohol delivery is coming at 3 so we just need that truck cleared out from the back dock before then.”

Outside, a storm is raging. The rain that had consistently fallen all day is now strengthening and accompanied by thunder and lightning. Gwen looks behind Blake out the window, noting the accumulating water on the road.

“It looks like the streets are starting to flood,” she comments, her stomach filling with nerves. She hates driving in the rain at all, especially at night, and especially when the water is higher than normal.

Blake nods, glancing out the window as well. He’s rolled up his sleeves, has an extra top button unbuttoned, loosened his tie a little and has some facial hair growing in — and the total effect is not one that is lost on her. The rumpled, casual look suits him. Really well.

She forces her eyes away from him and back to her laptop, which she has carried into his office so that she can work alongside him at his desk.

“When are you going to come in tomorrow?” he asks. She’s going to report to work later than normal since she’s helping out at the show with any extra tasks needed to be done, staying until the midnight Happy New Year brouhaha is over.

“Is 11 a.m. okay?” she asks.

“You can come in after lunch if you want,” Blake says. “It’s going to be a long day and night.”

Gwen nods gratefully. When she first started working here she wondered if Blake was going to be a tough boss, but he’s so accommodating and generous. She knows that has come with him learning to trust her in her job.

She decides now is the time to express her appreciation verbally. “Thank you, by the way,” she says, looking at him over the top of her laptop.

He glances up from his own screen, looking unsure. “For what?”

Gwen lifts one shoulder. “For being such a great boss,” she says. “I was really nervous, you know, when I started working here. When I moved here, even. I didn’t know if I would ever fit in anywhere, or find a place that would make me feel that I belonged in Nashville. And this job has really meant a lot to me, and really made me feel accomplished, and… a big part of that is because of you, because of your leadership and your patience with me. So, just… thank you.”

Blake seems at a loss for words, his eyes dropping back to his computer. She wishes she would stop doing that — stop breaking eye contact when things are getting a little too personal for him. He surprises her, though, when he glances back up.

“You don’t have to thank me,” he says, shaking his head. “You’ve been fantastic, and that’s all because of you, not me. You’ve been a… breath of fresh air. I don’t worry half as much as I used to. No offense to Wendy, my old assistant, but… I didn’t realize how much more on top of things I could be until you came in and got me on track. So… thank you for that.”

Gwen basks in his words. She really has worked so hard since she got here, and knowing that it’s noticed and appreciated means everything to her. She is about to respond when a loud clap of thunder sounds at the same time all of the lights go out.

The lightning strike has taken out the streetlights outside, too, leaving Gwen and Blake in total darkness, save for the glow from Gwen’s battery-powered laptop.

“Shit,” Blake says, fumbling around on his desk until he finds his phone. He activates the flashlight function.

“I hope you saved your work,” Gwen says, closing her laptop.

“Should have,” Blake replies quietly. He walks around the room, looking for his briefcase. He puts some papers inside, then picks it up and puts it on his desk.

“I guess that’s enough working for tonight,” he says. “Do you have an umbrella?”

Gwen sighs. “No, but I can just run to my car.” She looks back outside, can see the water swirling on the street now.

“I wonder how big the blackout is,” she says quietly, hearing the fear in her own voice. “Do you think a lot of streetlights are out?”

“I don’t know,” Blake says.

Gwen bites her lip, using her phone’s flashlight to go back to her desk and put all of her stuff away. She picks up her purse and hesitantly walks back to Blake’s office. Her eyes are starting to adjust to the darkness, so she doesn’t put her flashlight back on.

Blake apparently doesn’t see her, because he runs right into her at the doorway. Her face smashes into his chest.

“Oh!” they both exclaim at the same time. Blake reaches out and grabs her shoulders to keep her from being practically knocked over.

“I’m sorry,” he almost whispers, looking down at her. She can’t see much, but she can see the blue of his eyes even through the dark.

“It’s okay,” she whispers back when she finds her voice. They stand there like that for just a moment, him steadying her with his hands, looking down at her face. He squeezes her shoulders before he finally releases her, and then clears his throat awkwardly.

“Uh, are you okay to drive?” he asks.

Gwen winces. “I mean, yeah.” She knows she doesn’t sound convincing.

Blake looks around, back out through the window at the darkened street, the rising water on the ground.

“I could bring you home, if you want,” he suggests. “If you would feel better about not driving.”

Her fear makes her want to immediately accept his offer, but she feels guilty about inconveniencing him in any way.

“But what about you?” she asks. “I don’t want to worry about you driving off the road or something after you bring me home.”

Blake shakes his head. “I’ve lived here long enough, I know which roads are more low-lying and likely to flood. I’ll avoid them.”

Gwen has to admit, it’s a better prospect than nervously trying to navigate her way home by herself.

“I feel like you’re coming to my rescue again,” she says sheepishly.

“Again?”

“When you changed my tire,” she reminds him.

“Oh,” he laughs softly. “Wow, that feels like a long time ago. It’s no big deal, really.”

She follows him down the hall, and when they reach the exit, they both break out into a run to the employee parking lot, Blake pressing the remote key to unlock his truck as they get closer. Gwen scurries into the truck on the passenger side quickly, slamming the door shut before any more water can get inside.

She rubs her arms, feeling the immediate chill of the air combined with being drenched. Blake turns on the engine and cranks up the heat all the way.

“It will be like a furnace in here in just a second,” he assures her, his voice gentle. She tells him her address, and he nods in recognition of the area.

They drive in amiable silence for a few minutes, Gwen anxiously looking out her window at the rain that has yet to relent. Trying to take her mind off of the weather, she decides to make conversation.

“I never asked how your Christmas was,” she says.

They’ve been getting along so well, he’s been so at ease with her today. Maybe he’ll be willing to talk about it now, she thinks.

She looks at him. He keeps his eyes on the road, but she sees his jaw clench, just a little.

“Did you go to the rescue mission?”

He nods. “Yeah, it was good. I like doing that.”

“And then…” she trails off. “Football?”

He nods again.

“Do you ever go back to Oklahoma for the holidays?” she finally asks. “Do you go visit —”

“No, I don’t,” he says.

“But why —”

“Gwen,” he interrupts her, his voice low. “I don’t really want to talk about that.”

But Gwen is stubborn, and getting him to admit that he doesn’t want to talk about it actually feels like progress. It feels like the first step to breaking down some of this wall he’s built around himself, and maybe now she can get him to admit more.

“What about your sister and your mom? You sent them flowers, don’t you talk to them? Surely they wanted to see you on Christmas.”

She knows she’s being annoyingly persistent, but she can’t stop herself. Blake lets out a heavy sigh, his knuckles white as he grips the steering wheel.

“I do talk to my family,” he says slowly. “And they come visit me here sometimes. I just don’t go back there.”

Gwen stares at him, knowing he can’t look back at her. She uses this opportunity to study him unabashedly. He is basically soaking wet, some drops of rain still lingering on the side of his face. His hair is a little longer right now, and a curl hangs down, plastered to his forehead. His blue eyes are flashing, his lips turned inward into a tight line.

She knows that’s as much as she’s going to get out of him about it right now, and it wasn’t much, but it was better than nothing.

“I’m sorry for being nosy, I just… I want you to be happy.”

It’s as simple as that, a fact she hasn’t been able to stop coming back to in the months she’s gotten to know him. Making him smile has become a personal goal of hers, lights her up from the inside when she accomplishes it, and she realized at some point along the way that it’s because she’s afraid he’s not happy.

And for some reason, she desperately wants that to change.

She waits to see if Blake will respond, but he remains quiet. Gwen sinks back into her seat, watching as they draw nearer to her apartment. She confirms the last detailed directions to him until he is pulling into the parking spot closest to her door.

When he puts the truck in park, she turns toward him to apologize again. “I’m sorry for being pushy. It’s your business. Please forgive me.”

Blake looks at her then, a softness in his face. He reaches out and gently touches her arm. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks again,” Gwen says. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She presses the button on her seat belt, but it won’t release.

“Uh, it gets stuck sometimes, let me help,” Blake says sheepishly, reaching over and holding down the button, his fingers accidentally grazing her waist. 

Gwen turns her face toward his, now just about a foot away. He looks up and locks eyes with her, pulling his hand back when the seat belt releases and she can take it off. Another flash of lightning illuminates the inside of the vehicle for a brief moment.

“Do I look like a drowned rat or something?” she asks, taking in the way he continues staring at her. She tries to pat down her soaking wet hair.

He opens his mouth slightly, then shakes his head. “No, you look... no.” 

She doesn’t know what that’s supposed to mean, but Blake clearly isn’t going to expound because he leans back in his seat and presses the unlock button on the door. 

Gwen says another meager goodbye and then trudges to her apartment, feeling unsettled and dumb. Sometimes she just doesn’t know when to shut her big mouth.

When she enters the apartment, she's happy to see that they have power and surprised to find that Gavin isn't home. She didn't think he had a set tonight.

 _Where are you?_ she texts him, hanging up her wet jacket on the little coat rack she has by the door. She hopes he isn't driving around town in the storm.

Still dripping all over the floor, she makes her way to the bathroom and looks in the mirror, trying to see what Blake saw just now.

She expects to see a mess, mascara trails down her face and blotchy lipstick, but instead she sees that the rain has washed her skin totally clean. It’s probably the first time he’s ever seen her bare-faced. 

Under the stream of hot water in the shower, she replays the whole evening in her head, wondering if she’s just fooling herself thinking that there’s more to her relationship with Blake than employer-employee. Sometimes she really thinks he’s becoming her friend, and then he gets so put out by her just for asking a question about his life. Why can’t he see that she just cares about him?

She is so in her head that the water has turned cold before she realizes how long her shower has lasted.

It is well past midnight when she hears Gavin come home, and she tenses up as he crawls into bed with her smelling of sweat, cigarettes, and perfume.

"Where were you?" she asks, recoiling. "You never answered my text. I was worried about you out in the bad weather."

"Oh... sorry about that," Gavin says. "The guys wanted to go see another band play and then we hung out for a few hours, drinking and playing pool."

"The guys, huh?" She feels like he’s probably not mentioning everyone he was partying with. 

"Yeah."

Gwen sighs, trying to remember if she ever felt this absent from Gavin's life before, or he from hers, when they were in L.A. He still hasn’t met any of her work friends, and she has only briefly met his band mates.

They are so disconnected from each other except for when they’re here in this tiny apartment — and the amount of time that they’re actually both home and at least one of them isn’t asleep seems to be decreasing by the month.

There was something more stable about his schedule in California; maybe it was because he didn't get as many paying shows that kept him out so many nights of the week. They have always had very different career paths, with hers in an office and his on the stage, but their lifestyles have been diverging even more drastically since they arrived in Nashville.

Four months in, she can't see how their situation is going to improve any time soon.

* * *

Gwen has spent the evening of the Majestic’s holiday show running around working like mad, but as the band on stage starts prepping the crowd for the approach to midnight, she makes an effort to find some of her coworkers so that they can ring in the new year together.

“Hey guys,” she says upon finding Blake and Roger backstage. She hands them silly New Year’s themed hats she brought with her.

"You really want us to wear these?" Blake asks, holding up the fluorescent lime green plastic top hat with "Happy New Year" emblazoned on the front.

"Yep!" she says. "Get in the spirit." She watches as Blake and Roger put on the hats, then look at each other and laugh. 

“One more minute,” the bandleader announces on stage excitedly. Behind him on a projected screen, the countdown begins.

“What are your new year’s resolutions?” Gwen asks them, raising her voice so they can hear her over the loud music playing.

Roger, who looks like he’s about to fall asleep standing up, chuckles. “To get more sleep and not be out this late at night ever again.”

Gwen smiles and then looks at Blake.

“And you?”

Blake meets her eyes. “To be better.”

She cocks her head to the side, unsure what that means specifically. But she supposes that’s what everyone could strive for in just about any area of their life.

“What about you?” he asks. He takes hold of her elbow, not dropping eye contact with her, and she feels goosebumps rise on her arms, quite unexpectedly.

“Um…” she stammers, forgetting her words at first. And then a thought comes to her. “I think mine is to have more faith.” Faith that things are going to work out, no matter what direction she's headed.

As the countdown descends, to “3…2…1” Blake drops his hand from her skin but maintains their mutual gaze.

“Happy New Year,” he says.

“Happy New Year.”

* * *

Blake’s booming laugh draws Gwen’s attention, and she peeks down the hallway to see him by the door, talking to Roger. She can’t hear what they’re saying, but she can clearly see the huge smile on Blake’s face, a bigger smile than she’s ever seen on him before.

She feels her own smile grow, just seeing him look so happy. He turns and starts walking down toward her and his office, so she sits back in her chair and watches him as he unlocks his door.

“You’re in a good mood today,” she comments, looking up at him.

Blake turns to her, his handsome face light, those dimples making their rare appearance.

“I am, as a matter of fact,” he says.

“Any reason in particular?”

Blake raps his knuckles on her desk. “My sister is coming into town today. I haven’t seen her in a while.”

Gwen beams up at him. “Yay, that’s exciting. When’s the last time you saw her?”

“Probably Labor Day? It’s been too long. She’s actually meeting me for lunch, so I’ll have that 11 a.m. meeting, but I probably won’t be around this afternoon.”

Gwen makes a note on her planner and nods. “You should enjoy your time with her. Do you need me to make a reservation for you guys somewhere tonight? Or should I go out and get some flowers or something for her?”

Blake shakes his head. “You’re sweet, but no, we’re good. Thank you.”

They exchange one more soft smile before he heads back to his office.

A few hours later, Blake is in a meeting with a visiting executive from ASM Global, the property manager of the Majestic. It’s basically Blake's boss, so Gwen knows not to disturb them.

She is starting to think about what she wants to eat for lunch when she sees a blonde woman wearing casual clothes approach her.

“Hi,” she says. “Can I help you?”

“Yeah, I’m here to meet Blake,” the woman says. “I’m his sister, Endy.”

“Oh! Hi!” Gwen stands up awkwardly, looking around. “He’s still in his meeting — it went longer than expected. I’m sorry. Do you mind waiting?”

Endy shakes her head. “I don’t mind. We haven’t met before, have we? I don’t remember you being here last time I visited.”

Gwen smacks her forehead, feeling silly. “I’m sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Gwen, Blake’s assistant. I’ve been here since September.”

Gwen motions for Endy to sit down at one of the chairs at her desk, and she tries not to stare her down too closely. This is such an unexpected turn of events, having Blake’s sister here for her to chat with. 

Gwen and Endy take turns telling each other about themselves. Endy still lives in Ada, operating a boutique and coffee shop that she co-owns with her mom.

His sister is open and easy to talk to, and it makes Gwen feel comfortable deciding to voice her concern for Blake to someone who loves him.

“Blake told me he doesn’t get back there much anymore,” Gwen remarks, unsure if she’s overstepping. But if she can’t reach him, maybe his sister can. Gwen leans forward and speaks more quietly. “To tell you the truth, I think he’s lonely here, though.”

Endy frowns, glancing toward Blake’s door. “He just can’t get over what happened, even if most of Ada has already. I keep telling him it’s in his head, but he’s so stubborn.”

Gwen keeps silent, not wanting to pry, but Endy continues. “It’s hard for me and my mom to get out to Nashville with the shops to run — if we close for a day we don't make money, so vacations are few and far between. And he doesn't want to come there, so we just don’t get to see him as much as we’d like.”

Gwen sighs, looking at Endy sadly. “Endy, I have to be honest — I don’t know what you’re referring to about what happened,” Gwen admits. “He didn’t tell me that much detail, only that he doesn’t go back home. But he doesn't want to talk much about it, so I understand that it must be private.”

Endy nods, as if she’s not surprised Blake has kept quiet. "Well, I don't mind telling you why." 

Gwen's heart starts to beat a little faster, and she wonders if it’s a good idea for her to find out about Blake’s personal business from anyone but Blake. "Oh, you don't have to..." 

"I just think it’s ridiculous that he’s even still bothering himself with it,” Endy continues, disregarding Gwen's comment, leaning in. "It all started, when…well, when he got arrested.”


	6. Chapter 6

"It all started, when…well, when he got arrested.”

Endy must see Gwen’s face blanch at the word “arrested,” because she quickly waves her hand in the air.

“It was a total misunderstanding,” she says. “Let me start over.”

Everything happened about six months after their father died, Endy says — a little over five years ago. Blake and his fiancée, Miranda, were at a bar right outside Ada, a little pool hall everyone goes to.

A belligerent, drunk guy at the bar started harassing Miranda, and so of course, Blake went over to defend her, Endy says.

Gwen tries to process the fact that Blake was once engaged — and that clearly no longer is the case — while still listening to Endy’s story.

“The drunk guy started trying to fight with him, he threw a punch, Blake punched him back,” Endy sighs. “It got pretty bad, one thing led to another… Blake pushed the guy off him, pretty violently I guess, and the guy went through the big glass window in the front of the bar. It was a crazy scene.”

Gwen’s jaw drops open. “Oh my God.”

Endy nods. “Everyone was freaking out. The cops came, Blake was arrested, the guy was unconscious... But when they interviewed all the witnesses, it was clear it was a combination of self-defense and an accident,” she insists. “No charges were ever filed, and the other guy recovered. We thought he might sue over the medical costs, but he never did.”

Gwen shakes her head, failing to see why this is such a big deal to Blake five years later. If Blake didn’t mean to do it, the guy turned out okay… how is that still a problem now? She asks these questions aloud.

Endy gives her a grim frown. “It’s everything that happened afterward. The guy who went through the window? He was a city councilman’s son,” she says. “And Blake was employed as city manager, which is a position the _city council_ appoints. It was a huge mess, and small towns plus wild rumors... you probably can guess how well those two things mix.”

Endy’s eyes narrow as she continues telling the story. “The councilman went around telling people that Blake had tried to kill his son, that he was unhinged, unstable… and a lot of people believed him because of who he was, how established that family was in the community,” she says. “My family’s been there a long time, and Blake was always a well-liked, hometown boy… but we found out pretty quick we were no match for them.”

Endy says that Blake became kind of a town pariah overnight, the subject of harsh gossip and sidelong stares any time he just went to the store. Few people cared to hear the truth of the story — that the “victim” in question had started everything, that it had been an unfortunate accident.

“At the pressure of that councilman, they asked Blake to resign as city manager… said it was controversial for city hall to keep him in such a prominent position,” she says. “Said they couldn’t have someone with such ‘violent tendencies’ representing the city. And then Miranda… she was upset about how everything happened, she couldn’t handle the drama. She’d always been an image-conscious kind of girl. Marrying someone that everyone in town had blacklisted wasn’t what she had in mind for herself. She cancelled the wedding.”

Gwen feels so sick and so sad, hearing how everything changed on a dime for Blake. “So on top of everything else, his fiancée broke up with him?”

“After all that, he felt he _had_ to leave town,” Endy says. “He lost everything, not least of all his good reputation, and it hurt him bad. I think he still feels a lot of shame over the fight, how it went down, because that’s really not who he is. But more than that, he’s hurting. He feels like Ada shunned him, so he’s shunned them right back. That’s why he won’t come home.”

Gwen nods vigorously, filled with a decent amount of righteous indignation on Blake’s behalf. It must have been so confusing to have people that he’d known his whole life turn on him and look at him differently.

No wonder he doesn’t want to go back home. In his mind it would be like going back into the lion’s den.

Gwen is about to ask Endy more about Miranda and where she is now when Blake’s door opens. She sits up straight, feeling like she just got caught doing something wrong.

The executive from ASM leaves, and Blake comes to the doorway, his face lighting up when he sees his sister.

“Come here,” he says, and Endy walks into his arms, giving him a tight embrace. Gwen stands by and watches, a small smile on her lips.

“Have a great visit,” she says, looking at Blake, feeling much closer to him now that she knows his secret. She feels like she understands him so much better now.

He just doesn’t know it.

“I’ll hold your calls this afternoon. Take as much time as you need.”

Blake and Endy leave together, and Gwen pulls up Google on her computer. She tries to search Blake’s name and Ada, wondering if there were any news stories about the fight, but nothing comes up.

Then she goes to Instagram, looking to see if she can find this Miranda girl, but she doesn’t know her last name, so the search is pretty limited.

Even when she barely knew anything about him she was drawn to Blake, wanting to see him overcome the obvious baggage he’s carrying.

Now that she knows so much more, something inside her can’t just let it rest. And all she can do is sit with this feeling of how wrong it is that he went through that situation. All he did was defend himself and his fiancée.

And now he’s become this guarded loner, won’t let anyone get close to him because he’s so wounded inside from what happened, how people cast him out, so easily thought the worst about him.

She hasn’t known him a super long time, but she can tell he would never purposefully hurt someone. He isn’t some angry, violent person. He’s gentle, and demure, and sometimes even sweet.

Why is life so unfair sometimes?

Five years ago he had a great job, was settled in his hometown, engaged to be married.

One mistake, and he lost everything.

* * *

That night, Gwen watches from her perch at the bar as Gavin and Mindy stand over by the shelves of alcohol against the wall, smiling at each other from ear to ear. Because he hasn’t been getting paid as much as he wants at his music gigs, Gavin has decided to take a part-time job as a bartender at this bar where he often plays.

Mindy got him the job.

Gwen’s only been here for thirty minutes, but already she feels like a clinging, annoying girlfriend who has to keep an eye on her man lest he misbehave.

Since they haven’t gotten to spend a lot of time together recently, Gwen told him she would come by tonight during his shift and have a drink. But he’s still barely had time to talk to her, the Diet Coke and rum in front of her is now empty, and if the rest of the evening is going to entail her sitting here watching him flirt with Mindy, she’d rather just go ahead and go home.

She signals to get his attention when she can, and he moves back over to her.

“You can close out my tab, I think,” she says. “I’m gonna head out.”

She’s not in the mood to hang out here and watch this display when all she can think about anyway is the information she learned about Blake today.

Gavin lifts an eyebrow. “You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m tired, and you’re busy. I don’t want to bug you. Maybe we could have lunch together tomorrow to make up for this?” she asks.

Before Gavin can reply, another patron moves into Gwen’s space and slams down a credit card.

“Yeah, I need three vodka tonics and a screwdriver.”

Gwen steps off her barstool, moving away while Gavin is distracted by the customer.

She doesn’t know what Gavin would do if he wasn’t playing music, but she’s starting to wonder if he should think about it. If he should accept music as more of a side hobby and stop trying to make it his career. How long can they live with the instability?

She doesn’t know how to say that to him, and she imagines it wouldn’t go over very well at all.

But she doesn’t know how much longer they can go on like this, and she’s starting to wonder if they can go on at all.

* * *

The next day, Gavin finally comes to the Majestic for the first time to take Gwen to lunch, his peace offering for the lack of time they’ve gotten to spend together now that he’s added bartender to his resume.

But she and Blake have been caught up in a conference call with the property management company in his office, and she nervously glances at the time every few minutes, wondering how much longer Gavin is going to have to wait.

Finally the call ends, and Gwen stands up with her notepad. “Is it okay if I head out to lunch, or do you need me for anything else right now?”

Blake shakes his head. “Go for it.”

Gwen steps out of the office, immediately spotting Gavin sitting at her desk. He must have been escorted there by someone who answered the employees’ back door.

“I’m sorry,” she says, rushing behind the desk to get her purse.

“I’ve been here over thirty minutes,” he complains. “I have to get to the bar to do inventory in less than two hours.”

She’s surprised by the annoyance in his tone. “That’s plenty of time,” she tries to assure him.

Gavin looks behind her, and she turns to see that Blake is leaning against his doorframe, watching them. She can’t read the expression on his face, but standing between him and Gavin immediately feels painfully awkward.

“Um, Gavin this is my boss, Blake.”

Blake has been watching her during the introduction, but once she is finished speaking, he turns his head toward Gavin and politely offers a handshake.

But Gavin stands still in place, for some reason unwilling to move closer so that he can shake Blake’s hand. Instead, he offers a simple head nod.

“We were on a conference call,” Blake says as he drops his outstretched hand and puts it in his pocket. His voice is steady as he continues. “It’s not Gwen’s fault that we ran late.”

Gwen feels herself blushing, knowing that Blake must have overheard Gavin sniping at her.

“That one guy on the call, Ted I think his name was… he sure is a talker,” she says nervously. “I thought he’d never stop so we could go.” Blake gives her a small smile.

Gavin shrugs, ignoring Blake’s explanation and Gwen’s attempt at smoothing things over. “Ready to leave?”

Gwen gives Blake a low wave goodbye as she follows Gavin down the hallway. When they reach the door, she looks back at Blake one more time. He’s still standing at his office door, staring off into space. 

As she and Gavin head down the street to get lunch at an inexpensive bistro, Gavin kicks a rock into the street.

“He’s a lot younger than I thought he would be,” he says, his voice monotone.

Gwen lets out a nervous laugh, unsure of what to say in response to that. “Yeah, he’s 32.” She’d eventually seen Blake’s full birthdate on the company birthday calendar, confirming her guess about his age.

Gavin gives her a sidelong glance.

“Great,” he says, sounding like he doesn’t actually think it’s great.

Once they’re seated at lunch and have gotten their orders, Gwen asks Gavin how the rest of his shift went the night before.

“Crazy,” Gavin replies. “Maybe that’s why I’m in a bad mood today… it will probably be even worse tonight.”

Gwen stirs her straw around in her soda, wondering if now’s a good time to talk about what’s been increasingly bothering her over the past couple of months.

"How much longer are you going to keep up this exhausting schedule of playing and bartending and... never being home?" she asks.

It's a tough question to bring up, because it's not like she wants to hamper his dreams or tell him that they're not realistic. But if this is how their life is going to be for the indefinite future, she doesn't see how they're going to make it. They’re never going to regain the ground they have lost, they’re never going to reestablish a real partnership.

"I don't know, babe," he replies, sounding frustrated. "I just know I can't give it up yet. I'm sorry if that's not what you want to hear."

"I'm not trying to get you to give it up," she sighs, but she's not sure what the answer is. She's not even so sure she wants an answer from him anymore. She just wants clarity.

“It’s just… we barely see each other anymore,” she presses. “I'm always asleep by the time you get home, you aren't awake to hear me say goodbye when I leave in the mornings. When I go to your shows I don't get to talk to you then, either, and it’s obviously going to be the same thing at the bar. What kind of relationship is that?”

Gavin sighs, shrugging with his entire body. "Okay, so we just have to try and make more time for each other, then,” he says, irritated again. “Next Sunday I don't have anything to do, why don't we go out to dinner that night?"

Gwen stares at him, wondering if he really understands what she's saying or if he thinks they can put a Band-Aid on their issues and it will make them go away.

She decides to let it go for now. This was the wrong place to try and have this conversation.

“Okay, sure,” she replies, sitting back in her seat, still unsettled. She can’t shake the feeling that they’re at the point of no return, and he doesn’t seem to comprehend that. “We can go to dinner.”

* * *

When Gwen returns to work after lunch, she hesitantly approaches Blake’s office. “I’m sorry about Gavin,” she says, standing at the door. “He was rude to you.”

Blake shakes his head. “It’s not me he should be nice to.”

The implication is clear. He doesn’t care if Gavin was rude to _him_ — the problem is he was rude to Gwen, too.

Gwen sighs, moving in to go sit down across from him. “We’re just under a lot of stress right now, with our conflicting schedules and things,” she says. “He’s not getting where he wants to be fast enough since we moved here, and it’s starting to feel like the problem wasn’t L.A. And we never see each other, which doesn’t help.”

She isn’t sure if Blake even cares, but she needs to talk to someone about it. She still doesn’t have any close friends here, just her coworkers and acquaintances. In fact, Blake is the person she probably spends most of her cumulative time with, and she trusts him.

Blake surprises her by asking a question, prolonging the personal conversation. “How did you guys meet?”

Gwen thinks back. She was casually dating and enjoying the nightlife scene in L.A. with her coworkers from her first job at The Orwell. They were at a bar and a band got up on stage, the lead singer immediately locking eyes with her as he played. It was Gavin. As soon as his set was done, he jumped off stage and made a beeline for her.

They’ve been together ever since.

She gives Blake a short description of this story, then shrugs. Somehow they got to where they are now, but looking back it’s all a blur of supporting Gavin’s music and trying to figure out who she is, and never really thinking about what the next step for them will be.

Moving out here together was definitely a huge turn of events, but it feels like they’re just stuck in another holding pattern now, only in Nashville instead of L.A.

Moving here has only seemed to illuminate the differences between them, the lack of shared interests, the lack of a future they really have.

Blake nods sympathetically, and she feels guilty — and a little weird — for dumping all of her problems with Gavin on him in one fell swoop. She decides to change the subject.

“Your sister was really nice… we got to talk while she waited for you,” Gwen says.

Blake raises an eyebrow. “What did she say?”

Gwen inhales and exhales a deep breath, knowing she has to be honest with him.

It’s not fair to him that he’s oblivious to the fact that she’s come across such pivotal information about him, and she doesn’t want to hide it from him any longer, even if she knows this is going to upset him.

“Well… we were just talking about where we’re from, about you and how she doesn’t see you that often, and, well… she told me about what happened, why you left Ada,” Gwen says, looking up to meet his eyes.

Blake freezes, his face growing a pale shade of red. Gwen gets to the point quickly.

“She explained everything, and I completely sympathize with you, Blake. I’m so sorry for what happened.”

Blake sits quiet for a moment, looking horrified.

“She… she told you about the…” he stutters, struggling to get ahold of his sentence. “She had no right to tell you about that.”

He stands and looks out the window with his hands in his pockets, seemingly unable to meet Gwen’s eyes again. She hurries to try and fix this, to try and reassure him.

“It’s okay, Blake, I’ll never say a word to anyone, I promise,” she says. “I can pretend like I never heard about it if you want me to. I just… I wanted you to know that you have nothing to be ashamed about. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Blake turns back to her, shaking his head vehemently. "Don't do this."

Gwen’s eyes widen. “Don’t do what?”

“Don't try to make me feel better about it. Whatever Endy told you, I'm sure she tried to make it sound like less of an issue than it really was.”

He could be right — for all she knows, she could have heard a sanitized version of what actually went down. Maybe Endy was trying to make it sound more accidental than it really was, maybe she left out key details, who knows.

But Gwen doubts it, because she has come to know Blake, and what Endy said matches up with what she is sure of. He would have never done something like that on purpose, and he’s clearly still wracked with guilt and hurt over the damage to his reputation and the things that he lost because of what happened.

"All I know is who you are now, and that's enough for me to know that if you feel like you can't go home because people hold you responsible for some stupid mistake, they have to be the ones who are wrong," Gwen says adamantly. "Whatever happened in the past doesn't define you now."

Blake is quiet for a moment. He sits back down and rubs his face in his hands. "I can't believe she told you," he mutters to himself.

"Don't be too mad at her," Gwen says softly. "It's obvious how much she loves you and admires you. She must have figured I would understand, and I do. I'm on your side, too."

She tries to read the expression on his face as he stares at her. There’s still dismay there, he’s still upset, that she knows. There’s some shame, too, which she wishes would be erased forever. And then there’s something else she can’t quite put her finger on.

She tries to beg him with her eyes to listen to what she’s saying.

"Look, I can't say I don't appreciate that sentiment, because I do,” he finally says. “I just don't want people knowing because they could end up being..."

"You think they would be like, scared of you or something? Think less of you?" Gwen asks, incredulous. "Blake, anyone who knows you — really knows you — would never."

She realizes with that statement she's including herself as someone who "really knows" him, and maybe it's too soon to feel that way, but she can't help it.

They spend so much time together. If there was some dark, hidden side to him, she would have parsed it out by now. He is exactly who he appears to be.

She decides since they’re already down to the nitty-gritty, and he’s actually still talking to her, she might as well ask another question she’s been pondering.

“What made you come to Nashville, after all that went down?” she asks. “Had you been thinking about it before, or…?”

Blake shakes his head. “I’d been here one time, on a family trip when I was a teenager,” he says. “I grew up loving country music, so there was always this idealistic vision of Nashville as the best city to live in — the place where all the magic happens.”

Blake goes on to explain how he wrestled with the idea of moving away from Ada for weeks, but without a job and no real prospects due to his newfound notoriety, he knew he couldn’t stay.

“I found an apartment here online, rented it sight unseen,” he says. “I had a good chunk in savings, and I figured I could live off it until I found a job. And then I made the long drive out here, with as much as I could fit in my truck. I bought everything else I needed from online marketplaces once I got here.”

Gwen can almost picture him on the road to Nashville, forming the beginnings of a shell that he has now hardened to perfection.

She is in a bit of shock that he’s willing to share so much with her now, but having someone in Nashville finally know what he’s been carrying — she wonders if that might actually be a relief to him. He’s kept all of this inside for five years.

Gwen asks when he got the job at Majestic — and how did he eventually get to become venue manager, to such an important position in such a short amount of time?

“It took about a month of interviewing before I was hired here as a stage assistant,” he says. “My job as city manager wasn’t related at all, but it was a leadership position and the former venue manager saw something in me, was impressed with my body of work. So he took a chance. I promised he wouldn’t regret it, and within three years I had advanced my way up the chain to get his job when he retired.”

Gwen is impressed. “You must have worked very hard.”

Blake shrugs, clearly not willing to praise himself. “I guess I still feel like I have something to prove.”

Gwen is filled with the sudden urge to touch him, to hug him, something. She hates this desk between them right now. She wishes she could show him how much she admires him, the way he’s worked to make a new life for himself despite feeling like he lost a whole other life not that long ago.

“Thank you for talking to me. I hope you know that you can trust me,” she says quietly, lowering her eyes from his. “You can tell me anything, and I’ll never break your confidence.”

She looks back up at him, and he stares at her for a moment. Heat floods through her at the intensity of his gaze, and she feels her heart start to beat faster.

“I know I can trust you,” he says, his voice low. “And I do.”


	7. Chapter 7

“Blake, Blake, Blake!”

Gwen runs into his office, so excited she can hardly keep her voice controlled. “Guess what?”

Blake looks at her with his eyes wide, seemingly unsure whether to be scared or excited. “What, what’s going on?”

Gwen waves a thick, folded piece of paper at him. “Look what we just got in the mail!”

She hands the paper to him and stands next to his chair so she can watch his reaction as he reads the letter.

“We are pleased to inform you that the Majestic Theatre has been recognized as choice mid-sized music venue in this year’s Best of Nashville competition. Trophies will be awarded at a gala February 16. Please use the enclosed card to RSVP and note the number in your party who will be in attendance to accept your award.”

Gwen has no idea if Best of Nashville is a big deal or not, but if they are actually holding a “gala,” that sounds cool, plus who doesn’t like winning awards?

Blake places the letter back down on his desk.

“Are you excited? This is good, right?”

He looks up at her. “Well, yeah… I… I don’t think we’ve ever won this before,” he says. He sounds kind of shocked.

Gwen grabs his shoulder. “You have to go accept it, this award is all because of you,” she says.

“Gwen…” he trails off, and she knows what he’s going to say.

“I know, I know — it’s a team effort, blah, blah, blah,” she says. “I know we all appreciate your effort to make sure you recognize the hard work that everyone does, but you’re our fearless leader, the one who keeps us all in check. You’re going to go and accept the award, right?”

Blake nods. “Yeah, I guess I’ll go. It’s good to make an appearance at these things, keep some goodwill with the chamber of commerce and all that.”

Gwen smiles in satisfaction. “Good. Do you want me to come along too? What about Roger?”

Blake shakes his head. “No one else has to waste their time coming to this thing,” he says. “It’s probably going to be catered food with like, rubber chicken and some weird sauce, cheap drinks, talking to pretentious people and sitting through award after award for hours on end. I wouldn’t subject you to that.”

Gwen looks at him, aghast. “Are you kidding me? First of all, I don’t care about the food or drinks. Second, I probably need to get out and meet more people in Nashville, instead of staying in my little bubble forever. Third, I’m freaking out about this and I want to be there to cheer when they call our name.”

Blake holds up his hands. “Okay, okay. If you insist on coming with me, I’m not going to stop you.”

Gwen jokingly pumps her fist, and he looks up at her, amused. “You are… such a dork,” he says.

She smirks and picks up a business card off his desk, flicking it at his chest before she walks away with his boisterous laugh echoing behind her.

“I’ll RSVP for us,” she calls back to him, smiling to herself.

This turn of events is just what they need to fully move on from their big conversation about Blake’s past the other day, she thinks.

Though it had ended on a good note, with him accepting the fact that she now knows his big “secret” and is fully supportive of him and of keeping that information to herself, she’d still felt a little tension coming off of him ever since their talk.

Now they have something positive to celebrate, and hopefully they can just focus on the present and all of the good things he has going for him.

She still wishes he would talk to her more about his feelings and believe her when she tells him that he doesn’t need to hold on to that guilt or hurt any longer, but she knows that will have to come with time and patience on her part.

She hopes this award will be just one more confirmation to him that he’s right where he needs to be.

Everything happens for a reason.

* * *

Blake has introduced Gwen to so many people in this large ballroom, she’s kicking herself wishing she had brought a little notepad to keep track of the names and titles.

Just as she had predicted, this type of schmoozing gala event was a perfect way to socialize and meet new people, take part in some much-needed community involvement.

And just as Blake had predicted, most of the attendees here are coming off rather pretentious.

Not him, though. She notices a subtle shyness to him as he shakes hands and accepts greetings from others. It’s not overtly noticeable — she’s sure to everyone else who comes in contact with him, he seems friendly and confident.

It’s something you would only detect if you were watching him closely, like she is. The way he swallows right before saying hello, the nervous bob of his Adam’s apple and the way he’s fidgeting, pulling on the cuffs of his jacket as if it doesn’t fit him right.

“This is my executive assistant, Gwen Stefani,” he says to an older man, the director of an exhibit hall on Church Street. Gwen holds out her hand, and the man shakes it aggressively.

“Wow,” he says. “We didn’t get to have assistants that look like this back in my day. My wife would have kicked my ass.”

Gwen holds a tight smile, pulling her hand back a little to indicate she’s finished with their handshake.

“You sure are pretty,” the man continues as he ogles her, oblivious to her discomfort, and she mumbles a flustered thank you. She and Blake turn to walk away, and he sighs.

“There’s always gotta be someone like that,” he mutters, sounding irritated. “Sorry.”

She tries to make a joke about it, though she’s also annoyed. “I can’t say I don’t notice when I think a person is hot, but I don’t feel like I can just go up and tell them that to their face,” she says.

After encountering the creepy leering man, Blake and Gwen determine that this a good time to give up the introductions and go find their seats. Each award winner is assigned a certain table all along the front of the stage, and a name card has been placed in the middle of their plates based on the RSVPs.

“Shelton and Stefani,” Blake reads their card aloud when he spots it. “This is us.”

“Sounds like the name of a law office,” she jokes. “Shelton & Stefani, personal injury attorneys.”

Blake smiles. “What would our gimmick be, for our commercials? I could wear a gallon-size cowboy hat.”

“Well, that would be all we’d need,” she laughs. “Who wouldn’t want to hire us?”

The catered meal is served shortly after they’re seated, and Blake can mark off another successful prediction — the chicken is so tough it’s difficult to cut, the vegetables are overly salty, and the dessert clearly used to be frozen. They both give each other looks as they try to swallow down bites before giving up.

“We can grab something from McDonald’s after this,” Blake murmurs, and Gwen laughs.

“Thank God.”

When the award presentations begin and the Majestic is announced as the winner of its category, Gwen puts her fingers between her teeth and whistles loudly. Blake makes his way to the stage to accept the trophy, and she can see his face turning pink when he looks back at her, shaking his head with a smile.

He poses with the head of the chamber of commerce for a photo, then heads back to Gwen with their award.

“I need a picture of this now,” she says, pulling out her phone. She leans over toward Blake and tells him to hold up the trophy.

“Smile,” she commands. They both smile for her selfie, and she looks back at it, satisfied.

“Aw, you look so happy,” she comments, showing him the picture.

He chuckles. “You are too much.”

“No, I’m not,” she responds, laughing. “I’m exactly enough.”

Blake smiles back at her fondly. “You’re right.”

* * *

They must be a sight to behold, sitting at a booth at McDonald’s in their fancy clothes and a big trophy on the table next to their hamburgers, fries, and Cokes.

“I don’t know why, but I think this is the best-tasting thing I have ever eaten,” Gwen says as she stuffs her face.

Blake shakes his head. “You don’t mean that. That’s the extreme hunger talking.”

Gwen smiles and looks down at her phone buzzing in her purse. It’s Gavin.

“Hi,” she answers the call, keeping her eyes on Blake. She has tried to avoid even mentioning Gavin in front of him ever since he met her boyfriend and got such a bad first impression.

“When are you getting home?” Gavin asks, sounding perturbed.

It’s only 10 p.m., and Gwen thought he would still be out at a bar at this hour.

“Soon; the awards presentation went really long and we didn’t really get to eat much there, so we’re just grabbing something now…” she trails off, not feeling up to making excuses for Gavin to understand. She doesn’t interrogate him every time he stays out super late, even though she often wants to.

“Who’s ‘we’? You and Blake?” Gavin asks, his voice sounding annoyed.

“Yes.”

“You sure he doesn’t have a crush on you?” Gavin asks, catching her off guard. “He finds a lot of excuses to spend time with you alone, doesn’t he?”

Gwen feels her heart start to pound at the suggestion, and she glances back up at Blake, who is blissfully ignorant to what Gavin is saying. She can’t have this conversation in front of him, that’s for sure.

If she could get into it right now, she’d tell Gavin that someone like Blake would never be interested in her. He’s her boss, he’s closed off, he’s not into dating anyone at all.

She’s tried to picture the type of woman he might want one day — someone sophisticated, someone who has it all together, someone he might actually listen to when she tells him that he’s special.

Someone totally different from how Gwen sees herself.

“That’s not true,” Gwen manages to reply, keeping her voice composed. “I can’t talk about this right now. I’ll be home in a little while.”

She hangs up and tries to shake off the discombobulation she feels thanks to Gavin’s question.

“Everything okay?” Blake asks, sensing the downturn in her mood.

When she meets his gaze again, she makes an effort to mask whatever it is he must see in her eyes. 

“I’m fine,” she says, putting the phone back in her purse.

“Was it your boyfriend?” he asks, his voice guarded. She nods, forcing a smile, but she knows it doesn’t reach her eyes.

“Is he giving you a hard time?”

Gwen is horrified to realize she is about to cry. She doesn’t know what’s wrong with her.

Why is she so upset all of a sudden? Her boyfriend just wants her to come home so he can see her.

And her boss is an extremely attractive, emotionally unavailable man who would never view her as more than his assistant.

Isn’t that the way things are supposed to be? So why is she on the verge of tears?

“Hey,” Blake says gently, reaching out to touch her hand. She blinks back the tears and shakes her head, forcing a laugh.

“Sorry, I’m just tired, I think,” she says, letting him touch her for a moment longer before she slides her hand away. “Can we go?”

Blake still looks concerned but doesn’t press. He’s a lot more considerate about letting her lie to him and to herself than she is when he does the same thing.

“Sure,” he says. “Let’s go.”

He drives her back to her car at the Majestic parking lot, and she gives him a grateful smile.

“Thank you for letting me tag along,” she says. “Hope you didn’t mind.”

Blake shakes his head. “It would have sucked without you there,” he admits. “You made it fun… You make _everything_ fun.”

Her heart skips a little beat at that sentiment, the soft way he says it. She could almost write it off as a simple compliment if it wasn’t for the way he bites his lip and looks away from her quickly, as if he didn’t actually mean to say that much.

She regards him for a long pause, feeling the loaded moment between them.

Rather than press him on what he just said, she decides to let them both end the night with their pride intact.

“I’ll see you on Monday,” she says finally, slipping out of his truck.

As she starts to drive herself home, she wonders if she’s wrong about the type of woman Blake would want.

If it actually wouldn’t be someone so different from herself.

* * *

Gwen hesitantly opens the door to her apartment, wondering what kind of mood she’s going to find Gavin in.

“Finally,” he says when she walks inside.

She doesn’t answer right away, just hangs up her jacket and walks into the kitchen to put her purse down on the table.

“You and _Blake_ have fun?” Gavin asks sarcastically.

Gwen sighs. “Gavin, can we not do this right now?”

“Why not? When’s a better time than right now?”

Gwen shoots him a look. “I don’t ask you how much fun you and Mindy had at work when you come home at 3 in the morning, so why can’t you lend me the same courtesy?” she snaps at him.

A look flashes over his face, just for a second, and Gwen knows there’s some guilt there. She wants to push him until he just admits it.

She wants to say she sees the way he and Mindy look at each other. She knows he spends way more time with Mindy than he does with his own girlfriend, so why wouldn’t she assume he’s bonded with her?

But then she realizes he can easily say the same things about her and Blake.

They’re both complete hypocrites.

All the way home she tried to quell these confusing emotions she has toward Blake, reassuring herself that she’s always just wanted the best for him, that her pull toward him is merely platonic concern.

But she knows deep down that she’s been fooling herself, and she has to figure out a way to reverse the direction her heart has been trying to take.

He’s her boss, and it can’t happen, and she knows that.

And even if he weren’t, she knows he’s not open to caring romantically about her, or anyone else. Just like Laney told her that day — he’s tried to date, and it doesn’t last because he can’t find it in himself to let anyone close to him.

She can’t let herself get twisted up in something that will only lead to a dead end.

“I’m sorry,” she says to Gavin quietly. “Can we just not fight, please? I don’t have the energy for this.”

She leaves him out in the living room, locking herself in the bathroom to take a shower.

Regardless of her confusion over Blake, it’s becoming clearer and clearer to her that she needs to end things with Gavin.

Her passion for him, once so consuming, has devolved slowly into feelings of subtle apathy. They haven’t had sex in weeks, and even when they are intimate, she feels nothing. She doesn’t feel a desire to kiss him. She can hardly even think of him as a friend when she sees him so little.

And while they’re both here now, they could only stand being in the same room for about one minute before she was trying to get some separation from him.

If pressed to say whether she thinks she’s still in love with him — she really doesn’t know.

She doesn’t think so, actually.

And that’s not good.

The thought of breaking up with him, of one of them moving out somewhere else, is terrifying — he’s the whole reason she even came to Nashville in the first place.

But somehow she’s found a life here that doesn’t much involve him anymore, and it’s crazy to think, but she might still have a home here, even if it’s without him.

It seems he’s fine with the way things are — him being free to go off and do whatever he wants, them living like two ships that pass in the night. But that’s not the kind of relationship she wants to be in anymore.

And once she figures out a graceful way to disentangle herself from his grasp, she won’t be.


	8. Chapter 8

Emotion rises in Gwen’s chest as she makes her way to an open seat in the candlelit church sanctuary, where Laney and Jay are about to be married.

Even though she’s only known Laney for half of a year, she still feels a little overwhelmed with happiness about this momentous occasion.

Not long after they met, Laney confided in Gwen about an emotionally abusive relationship she’d endured for four years. When she and that guy finally broke up, Laney said she didn’t think her heart would find the strength to forge a real relationship again.

But then Jay came along and changed everything for her.

“Can I sit here?”

Gwen looks up and sees Blake looking around nervously as the ceremony is about to begin. She is, as always, happy to see him.

It wasn’t a certainty to her that he would be here, even though it seems like he and Laney have had a pleasant working relationship over the past few years. They hadn’t talked about the wedding or whether he was attending, so she figured the chances were 50-50 — it doesn't seem like it would be his favorite type of environment. But it was nice of him to come.

“Of course,” she says, scooting over a little on the pew to give him more room. “You’re just in time.”

The piano player begins the first keys to “Canon in D Minor,” and everyone swivels their heads to the back of the church, where Laney’s and Jay’s grandparents make their way down the aisle.

They are followed by Laney’s mother and Jay’s parents. Finally, Jay comes out and stands at the front with the preacher, beaming from ear to ear.

Laney’s five-year-old niece serves as flower girl, delicately dropping white rose petals along the aisle until she reaches the front and sits with her grandma. There is a brief pause in music, a full and anticipatory moment, until “Trumpet Voluntary” begins to play.

Then Laney appears, on the arm of her father, and everyone stands as she makes her approach to Jay. Once the congregation is seated and the minister begins the ceremony, Gwen finds herself tearing up at the beautiful words exchanged between bride and groom.

For just a moment, she pictures herself up there. She tries to envision standing in front of her family and friends, wearing a white dress, saying these same vows to someone.

Her mind repels the image of Gavin standing across from her, making this commitment to him. She just can’t force herself to see it, no matter how hard she tries.

She hasn’t gotten up the nerve or the opportunity to make her break from him in the week since she decided that's what she's going to do. When she thinks about having this conversation with him, it just feels like she's standing with one foot out of the door of an airplane, and even though she has a parachute, it's still going to take a surge of courage to let go and take the plunge. She's going to do it soon — she just needs that spark of bravery to go through with it. 

By the time Laney and Jay are announced as husband and wife, a tear is slipping down Gwen’s cheek. She’s not sure if it’s because of happiness for them, if she’s feeling morose about her own inability to picture this ending for herself, or both. She wipes her face as Blake nudges her, looking at her with tenderness.

“You okay?” He smiles as she laughs at herself.

“I always cry at weddings,” she replies. He lightly rubs a finger down her arm in consolation, and she has to turn away so he doesn’t see the goosebumps that rise from his touch.

Ever since her realization after the Best of Nashville gala last weekend that her feelings for him might not be one hundred percent platonic, she’s struggled to keep herself from thinking about him in any unprofessional kind of way.

It’s been harder than she could have imagined — now that her attraction to him, her affection for him, has been illuminated in her own mind, there’s no simple way to shut off the light.

And it’s certainly not helping to be so close to him in a romantic setting like this, with him looking as good as he does in his gray suit.

After Jay and Laney have made their way out of the church, everyone else starts to exit the pews to head to the reception hall next door. Gwen looks up at Blake, wondering for the first time this evening if it’s difficult for him to come to a wedding like this. If it makes him think about his own broken engagement.

He doesn’t seem melancholy, though, not now. He smiles and waves at Roger, who is caught up in the crush of people ahead of them.

As they try to get through a crowd of people chatting and standing in the way, she feels Blake lightly place his hand on her back to guide her. The gesture is one he would never have made just a few months ago. It's one that comes with familiarity and comfort. It feels intimate.

She glances up at him, but he keeps his eyes straight ahead.

* * *

Besides some of her coworkers, Gwen doesn’t really know many other people at this wedding. It seems to be a mixture of Jay and Laney’s families, a handful of other Majestic employees, Jay’s colleagues at Vanderbilt, and their non-work friends from around Nashville.

Not quite in the mood to try and meet new people tonight, Gwen sticks close to Blake, Roger, and his wife. They all sit at a table off to the side together, sipping drinks as they watch Laney and Jay have their first dance.

After a few line dances and an amusing display of “YMCA,” the DJ announces that the next song will be a “switch” dance where you change partners when he calls out for you to switch. Jay and Laney start out together, and other couples begin going out to the dance floor as well.

Roger’s wife, Marilyn, drags him out there with her, and Gwen glances nervously at Blake. Since neither one of them brought a date, the obvious move for them would be to start out the dance together — or just sit the whole thing out.

Thankfully, Blake cuts through the awkward moment by holding out his hand. “Want to?”

She nods and follows him out onto the dance floor.

Gwen shakily sets one hand on Blake's shoulder, and he takes her other hand in his, pressing it against his chest. He wraps his free arm around her waist.

"Okay?" he asks, a lilt in his voice.

She nods, almost disturbed at just how comfortable she feels in his arms. She fits in them perfectly.

They sway to the music, and Gwen struggles with deciding where she should look. Hesitantly she lifts her chin to gaze straight up into his face and tries to make conversation. 

"I'm really happy for Laney," she says.

"Me too."

"She told me she had given up on love, until she met Jay," Gwen says. "She had a really bad breakup and she didn't even want to try again. But then suddenly, there he was."

She tries to catch his eye, but now Blake seems very focused on staring over the top of her head.

"I think that's the most wonderful thing, when someone can find happiness again after a broken heart," she continues.

If he catches that she's referring to what she hopes his future will entail, he doesn't let on.

"Is that what happened to you?" he asks instead. "Have you ever had a broken heart?"

Gwen is surprised by his direct question, so much so that she stumbles over her words at first.

"Well, my high school boyfriend and I broke up when we went off to different colleges, and that was pretty devastating," she says. "Tony was his name. But it was high school, right? I'm sure that doesn't compare to... what other people have been through."

"A broken heart is a broken heart," Blake murmurs, his voice full of understanding. "No matter how young you were, it still had to hurt."

Gwen nods, gratified that he didn't dismiss her one example of romantic disappointment. She really had, at the tender age of 17, thought she was going to marry Tony. It may have never been realistic, never had a chance of longevity, but her teenage heart hadn't known that.

She looks at Blake with admiration, thankful for his sensitivity even though she's never touched the kind of pain he's obviously gone through before.

This sentiment is on the tip of her tongue when the DJ rudely interrupts. “Switch!”

Gwen looks up at Blake regretfully, and she sees to her left that Roger and Marilyn have danced their way over.

“Gwen?” Roger asks. She smiles at him and accepts his arms, as Marilyn begins to dance with Blake.

“You look lovely,” Roger says, his tone a fatherly one.

Gwen smiles. “Thanks Roger.” She gazes over Roger’s shoulder at Blake and Marilyn, who are so far apart in height it looks comical as they dance together. She smiles as she watches Blake laugh at something Marilyn said.

“What’s the name of that lucky guy in your life again?” Roger asks.

“Bla- Gavin,” Gwen says, stuttering. Why did she almost say Blake? Has she lost her mind? If Roger notices the almost slip-up, he doesn’t comment.

“Switch!” the DJ yells. Gwen looks around helplessly, unsure of who to switch with.

“I know it’s probably breaking the rules, but I’d like to get my wife back,” Roger says with a laugh. He holds out his arm to Marilyn, who moves back over to him. Gwen and Blake look at each other and smile sheepishly.

“Finish it out?” Blake asks, taking Gwen back into his embrace.

She is not exactly going to protest.

“Do you think the DJ is drunk?” Blake asks with a mischievous look on his face.

Gwen looks over to the see the DJ bopping his head frenetically, even though the song playing is slow and steady. He picks up his cup and tries to drink from it, then looks down and seems to realize it’s empty.

She laughs, shaking her head. “Uh… he’s definitely on something. I hope Laney doesn’t notice.”

They fall silent for another moment, and Gwen feels a sense of dread as the song approaches its final chorus. She doesn’t want this to end, she realizes.

"Your other half couldn’t come tonight?" Blake asks, his voice a little stilted with the question. 

Gwen looks up at him in surprise. "Well, when Laney invited me she didn't say anything about bringing a plus-one," she replies. 

"I'm sure she would have been okay with it." 

Gwen figures this would be an awkward time to explain to Blake that even if she was welcome to bring a guest, she wouldn't have brought Gavin because she's preparing to kick him to the curb. But she doesn't want him to remain under the false impression that things between her and Gavin are fine, either.

"Well, like I told you before, we kind of live separate lives these days," she says. "I doubt he'd have wanted to come with me anyway.”

Blake looks away from her, staring over her head.

“Yeah, well, it sounds like you deserve better,” he says quietly.

Gwen’s throat tightens, and she angles her neck to try and catch Blake’s eye. He glances at her briefly, his expression tight.

“Sorry,” he apologizes quickly, his mouth a straight line. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

Gwen doesn’t know how to respond, how to take his statement. So, she just brushes it off. 

“It’s okay,” she murmurs. When the song is over, Blake releases her, and she stands back from him.

“Thanks for humoring me,” he says. “And uh… I meant to say earlier… you look beautiful tonight.”

Their eyes linger on each other, and Gwen feels herself blush. He’s never said anything like that to her before, and the way he says it, unlike Roger, is decidedly non-fatherly.

To hide the way it affects her, she finds herself searching for something light to say.

“Thank you. I meant to say that to you, too. I mean, um, that I really like your tie.”

He lifts an eyebrow, and she laughs. “The shade of blue, you know… because it brings out the color in your eyes.”

“You really have a thing for my ties, huh?” he jokes, and she remembers that she also commented on his tie at the office Christmas party. She’s surprised he remembers, too.

Before she can respond, the drunk DJ announces over the microphone that Jay and Laney will soon be departing. Everyone starts filing to the exit, where they can grab a little vial of bubbles to blow in the air as the bride and groom run out to their car.

As Laney and Jay drive away, Gwen feels Blake’s hand on her arm. “Walk you to your car?” he asks.

She feels a warmth rush through her, and she accepts his offer, walking closely to him, their arms brushing here and there as they head back to the parking lot of the church. The moon is shining high above them, the sky clear except for a limited smattering of visible stars.

"Well, here we are," Blake says when they arrive to their cars. 

"Here we are." Gwen gives him a soft smile. She breathes in the cool air, almost wanting to look back on the whole night pretending like Blake actually was her date. They sat together, danced together, stuck by each other the whole time.

"I wanted to apologize again," Blake says, "for what I said about your boyfriend. It's not my business."

Gwen holds up her hand, not wanting him to waste another second feeling bad about that. "I mean, I kind of made it your business inviting him to the office that day, and then venting to you about him later," she protests. "You're my friend, right?" 

She forces a smile, hoping it masks the way her heart is really feeling. Blake stares at her, his blue eyes unreadable. She feels an unexplained tension, something between them, and she's not sure what it is, but all of a sudden she's torn between wanting to move closer to him and wanting to run away. 

"Yeah," Blake finally replies. "Friends." 

Gwen nods again, dropping eye contact. "Guess I'd better go," she says. She smiles one more time and gets in her car while he stands by, giving her a little wave before he walks over to his truck.

She begins to drive away, and though she should know better — though it’s completely counterproductive in her mission to ignore her inappropriate feelings for him — she allows herself to dwell on what it felt like to be held by him when they danced.

Just for a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all of your comments on the last chapter! <3 I appreciate all of them very much.


	9. Chapter 9

Gwen wonders where Blake goes when he sometimes leaves the office sooner than normal. Since he doesn't seem to have any friends or dating life outside of work, her curiosity about what he actually does in his spare time piques every time he heads out early.

Today is another one of those days.

"Do you need anything before I go?" he asks, locking his door. Gwen shakes her head.

"No, I'm leaving early today too, in about a half-hour," she reminds him. "My sister-in-law is coming for a visit this weekend."

Blake nods quickly. "I remember. Hope y'all have fun."

After clocking out for the day, Gwen makes her way home to finish tidying up the apartment before it’s time to leave for the airport.

Her brother, Todd, had originally been planning to make the trip out there too, but something had come up with work, so his wife, Jen, was setting out alone. Gwen doesn't think she could have handled the disappointment if the visit had been nixed all together. She really needs a friendly and familiar face right now.

Because Todd couldn't come, Jen had decided to cancel their hotel room and just crash with Gwen for the weekend. 

It's the last excuse Gwen has to put off the daunting task of breaking up with Gavin. She'd kept telling herself over the last week that she couldn't do it until after Jen left, because it would disrupt everything and there are so many unknowns — will she leave, or will he want to go? Where will she stay if she's the one moving out? Can he even afford to keep the place without her? 

Because he's working so late each night anyway, either playing or bartending, Gavin had begrudgingly agreed to sleep on the sofa so that Jen could stay with Gwen in the bedroom and have more privacy for changing clothes and things like that.

"It will be like a slumber party," Jen had joked, easygoing as always when Gwen told her over the phone what the sleeping arrangement would be.

Gavin is in the shower when Gwen gets home from work, and she begins stripping the bed so she can put on fresh sheets and pillowcases.

As she smooths out the bedspread over the clean sheets, she notices that Gavin’s phone on the nightstand keeps lighting up with new text messages, one after the other.

Leaning over to see who they’re from, she spots Mindy’s name. Cocking her head to the side, she takes just a split second to decide that she deserves to see what they say. She picks up the phone and scrolls through his new texts from his coworker.

_Can’t wait to see u tonight_

_Wear that white shirt I like, u know u make me so hot lol_

_And maybe if u play real good I’ll show u my new tat… we’ll have to go somewhere private tho :p_

Gwen throws the phone back down, shaking her head. Well, if she needed one last surge of bravery, this would be it. That push out of the airplane before she tugs on her parachute, the kick in the ass she needs to finally just sit down and do it.

Jen will leave on Sunday. As soon as she's gone, Gwen will talk to Gavin. It will just have to wait a couple more days. 

She knows she won't be able to see him right now and keep a straight face, so she goes to the bathroom door and finds the strength to call out to him. “I’m leaving to go get Jen!”

On the way to the airport, she tries to process her thoughts. The texts aren’t absolute proof that he’s slept with Mindy, but it’s at least evidence that there’s some serious flirting going on. If she didn’t already feel like she had an emotional foot out the door anyway, she’d be furious and upset to read those messages.

She knows she’s also guilty in a way — guilty of becoming emotionally invested in Blake, in thinking about what it would be like to be with him. She’s sure that’s not the kind of girlfriend Gavin wants to have either.

Once Jen’s plane lands, Gwen goes to wait by the designated baggage claim, searching for her blonde and energetic sister-in-law through the mass of people heading her way.

"Gwen!" Jen's voice carries above the noise, and Gwen waves her arm in the air. The two women hug tightly when they meet up, and Gwen can't help but laugh at how they're acting like it's been years since they've seen each other, when in reality it was just over two months ago at Christmastime.

"Welcome to Nashville," Gwen says. "Thank you so much for still coming even though Todd couldn't make it. I really need you right now."

"It's better this way," Jen says, squeezing Gwen's shoulders. "We'll have more time to really talk without your brother being all nosy. Let's go."

* * *

To Gwen’s great relief, Gavin has already left the apartment when they get back. After dropping off Jen’s stuff, the two women decide to go out for dinner somewhere and then listen to some live music.

Once they're settled at a table in a Mexican restaurant on 2nd Avenue, Jen orders margaritas and then asks Gwen to tell her everything — all the gossip, all the feelings.

"Do you really like it here? Are you okay?"

Gwen sighs. "Yeah, Jen, I'm fine, I mean... I really love my job. I get to do a bunch of different things and see a lot of shows we host, and... my boss is great."

"Yeah? What's he like?"

Gwen shakes her head, not wanting to get deep into it, lest she give too much away about her confusing feelings for Blake with her facial expression or voice. "He's just really good at what he does, and he's taught me a lot. That's all."

"And Gavin? How are things with him?"

"Well…” Gwen hesitates before deciding that she can't hide this reality from Jen all weekend. "I kind of wanted to keep this drama away from you because I don’t want it to ruin your trip, but… I’m breaking up with Gavin as soon as you leave.”

Jen’s jaw drops and her eyes grow in size. “What? Gwen, what happened? Why?”

Gwen takes a deep breath and explains how she's been feeling lately, how she realized they just aren't right for each other.

“It isn't just one big issue — it's been a gradual thing I've noticed ever since we got here, that we just don't have a lot in common anymore.”

Gwen decides to leave out her latest discovery about the texts from Mindy, as well as the attraction she feels for her boss. She isn’t quite sure of the story behind the former, and she doesn’t know how to admit to the latter. There’s nothing that can come of what she feels toward Blake, anyway, so Jen doesn't really need to know about that, does she?

"Have you tried to talk to him about all of this?"

"I have, but there really just doesn’t seem to be any kind of solution for us,” she says. “We’re more like roommates than lovers at this point, and I can’t be in a relationship like that. I want something else. The only reason I haven't done it yet is I'm kind of scared to death. He’s the only reason I came out here. If I leave him and get my own apartment, I’ll be like… alone.”

Jen shakes her head. “Well, you can’t stay with him just because you’re afraid of facing a future by yourself."

“I know that, and I’m not going to,” Gwen assures her. “I just think the fear of the unknown is what has kept me with him longer than I should have stayed. Too chicken to make a move somewhere else.”

“Well, what about coming back to L.A.?” Jen asks. "Is that a possibility?" 

Gwen shakes her head, but then shrugs. “I don’t think so,” she says. “I don't know. I have no idea what my life will look like here out on my own. I guess I want to at least give it a shot before running back home.”

Talking about what’s been happening with Gavin puts Gwen in a sour mood, so she changes the subject and asks Jen to update her on what’s going on in her life.

Jen fills her in on all that she and Todd have been up to, how some of their mutual friends are doing, and about one of their new favorite restaurants in L.A. It feels good for Gwen to mentally escape back to California for a few minutes. The thought of moving back there is so tempting... but she's already become attached to Nashville in some way. She just can't see herself leaving yet. 

After they finish their dinner, they walk back up along the street until they see a cozy-looking bar at the corner of 2nd and Broadway. A sign indicates that live music will be starting soon.

"Want to go in here?" Gwen asks. "Or are you too tired from the flight?"

"Nah, I'm still on West Coast time," Jen says. "Let’s have a couple more drinks."

They settle down at a table in the back, and Gwen tries to take her mind off all her swirling thoughts... about her relationship with Gavin, her underlying feelings every time she's around Blake. This visit with Jen is supposed to be for her to enjoy and relax.

She retreats to the restroom to freshen up her hair and makeup, and she's washing her hands when she hears the first faint strums of a guitar coming from the little stage.

It's the voice that snaps her head up, her eyes enlarging as she swears she recognizes it from somewhere. Emerging from the restroom at the back of the bar, she takes in the sight on stage in the front.

Blake — her Blake — is sitting up there on a stool, his eyes closed, his hands moving on the guitar. His voice is gravelly and soothing at the same time, a contradictory effect that leaves her feeling dizzy. She can't believe it's him.

_Just taking my mind on a visit_

_Back in time, 'cause I miss it_

_You wouldn't know to love it, like I love it_

_Unless you lived it_

_And man, I lived it_

He almost looks like a completely different person out of his typical work ensemble — instead of the slacks and tie, he's wearing jeans and a plaid button-down shirt. His curly hair is tousled, and he's traded his worn leather dress shoes for cowboy boots.

Gwen gets to her seat by Jen, entranced, unable to take her eyes off of him as he transitions to another song.

She doesn't know whether he wrote these songs or got them from somewhere — she knows next to nothing about country music. But whatever the case, the emotion comes off of him as if they are personal to him.

_If being free's worth what you leave behind_

_And if it's too late for love to change your mind_

_Then it's goodbye time_

He finishes up a third song, and then gives the small crowd a little wave as they applaud. He slips out a side door behind the stage, and Gwen stands up abruptly.

"Ready to go?" Jen asks, confused.

"Um, can you just wait here for a second?" Gwen asks. "I'll be right back."

She hurries out the door, going around to see if she can catch Blake before he escapes. She sees his tall figure walking down the alley alongside the bar, probably returning to wherever he parked.

"Blake!" she calls out, breathless.

He turns slowly, his eyes widening as he registers her face. She walks quickly toward him, meeting him halfway.

"I just was in there, I... I saw you playing," Gwen says, looking up at him in astonishment. "You were wonderful. I had no idea you could do that."

Blake looks embarrassed, running one hand through his hair. "It's just a hobby, a way to blow off some steam… No one pays me to do it, trust me."

Gwen shakes her head, grabbing his forearm. "You should _make_ them pay you. I'd pay to see you again. My gosh..."

She trails off, realizing she's holding on to his arm a little tighter than intended. Maybe because she's worried he's going to literally run away from her. He looks down at her face, and to her surprise, she doesn't see resistance in his eyes. She sees something else.

Spring will officially be here in a few weeks, but winter continues to linger and the chill in the air leaves her shivering. Realizing she forgot her jacket inside, Gwen crosses her arms in front of her and waits for him to say something.

Blake notices her state of cold, and he reaches out and runs his hands up and down her arms briskly. "You better get back in there," he says softly.

She shakes her head, not wanting to leave him yet. Every time she thinks she's learned all she's ever going to know about him, or that she's never going to figure him out, she inadvertently gets another piece of the puzzle —and it just makes her want to know him even more.

His hands are still on her arms, and she moves in nearer to him, taking in the warmth from his body heat.

"Where did you learn to play like that?" she asks. 

Peering up at him, a little closer to his face thanks to her high-heeled boots, she dares him with her eyes to open up to her.

"I've been into music since I was a kid," he admits. "Every once in a while I go by a few bars that let me play. I go around and do a few little sets for a couple hours. But I don't like to play for people I know, it's too..." he doesn't finish his statement, but she knows he was going to say "too personal."

He's clearly still hurting about everything that happened back in Ada. Left by the woman he loved. An outcast from the place he grew up. Fearful of people he cares about rejecting him. Lonely in a city that's not really home. 

It’s understandable that he doesn't want to let anyone in his new life get too close to him. He doesn’t want to go through that kind of pain again.

"That's a shame," she replies, still locked into his eyes. "Because that might just be the most beautiful music I've ever heard in my life."

He leans a little more into her, and maybe it's because they're away from the office, maybe he's forgetting himself a little, but she sees his eyes flicker down to her lips for the briefest moment.

"Are you even real?" he asks, sounding like the wind has been knocked out of him. He tightens his grasp on her arms, and her hands make their way to his chest as he gazes down at her. She's quite certain no one has ever looked at her before the way he's looking at her right now.

"Yes," she whispers. His face begins to inch closer to hers, and she involuntarily shuts her eyes, waiting for what she knows is coming — what she wants to come.

She grips the front of his shirt as his lips press gently against hers, and for just a moment, her mind is clear, her heart soaring at the sweet taste of his mouth. 

And then a passing truck with a loud muffler zooms by, startling both of them.

Blake takes a step back, the trance broken.

"I'd better go," he says, moving away from her quickly, his voice taut. The absence of his body near hers immediately leaves her feeling cold again.

Gwen nods, knowing there's absolutely nothing she can do that will get him to stay after their moment was interrupted like that. He's already several steps away from her. 

"I... I'll see you on Monday," she murmurs, not knowing what else to say. He walks away briskly, and all she can do is watch.

When she returns to Jen, she knows she won't be able to keep her feelings, her inner turmoil, a secret for more than five seconds.

"That was my boss," she says, sitting back down.

"Who?" Jen looks around. Gwen nods toward the stage, which is still empty as they await the next performer. Jen's eyes widen.

"The hot guy that was just playing, the one with the voice of an angel? He's your boss?"

Gwen nods, sighing heavily. "I had to go talk to him. I didn't know he could do that."

Jen eyes her, taking in the disruption in Gwen's emotions, the affected look on her face.

"How close are you guys? Like... _close_?"

Gwen shakes her head, unsure how to describe whatever it is that’s been going on between them. "I don’t know. There's something... I just feel this... pull between us,” she admits. She looks at Jen helplessly. “I can’t stop thinking about him.”

Jen finishes up her drink, giving Gwen a sympathetic look. "You're all mixed up, huh?"

Gwen nods fervently before burying her face in her hands. "How did I let myself get into this mess?"

"What did you say when you talked to him just now?"

Gwen puts her fingers on her lips, remembering the way his felt against them, ever so lightly, ever so briefly.

“His songs… I told him how good he was… we… he...” she stumbles over her words, unable to express aloud what happened. Jen takes pity on her, reaching over to pat Gwen’s shoulder in comfort.

“I had no idea you were struggling with all these… feelings.”

Though the music from the next performer is just beginning, Jen stands up, taking Gwen's hand to pull her up, too.

“Come on, Lover Girl," Jen says affectionately. "I think you need to get home, take a bubble bath, have a good night's sleep, and regroup in the morning.”

Gwen lets Jen pull her out to the street, where they make the walk back to their parking spot. Gwen is still shaking when they get to the car. 

"Is there a policy or something against you having a relationship with your boss?" Jen asks as Gwen starts driving them home.

"There's got to be," Gwen replies.

It wasn't something she paid close attention to when reading her employee handbook on her first day at the job, since she never ever thought it would apply to her, but she's sure that's not something encouraged or even tolerated. And it's not like Blake kissing her just now means he wants to be with her, especially after he walked away. She doesn't know what he wants. 

"You're getting ahead of yourself because there's not a relationship being had," Gwen says. "I don't even know how he really feels."

But that look that was in his eyes as he stared at her — it was like he worshipped her in that moment.

The look disappeared quickly, but she knows she saw it.

And she doesn't know how she's going to ever forget it.


	10. Chapter 10

"He's so patient." 

"Who?"

"Blake."

Gwen and Jen are lying in bed on Saturday, Jen's last night in town, and Gwen can't sleep. 

Ever since her kiss with Blake, she's been trying to pinpoint when it was she started caring for him as more than just her boss, and she really isn't sure. 

It might have been that very first day, the day she saw the hurt inside of him that he was trying to hide.

"Give me examples," Jen says. “I want to know more about this guy.”

Gwen thinks back.

"When I first started my job I was having trouble getting the hang of the digital planner, not the concept but the functions," she recalls. "I screwed up one of his important appointments my very first week by coding it wrong. I thought he was going to freak out."

But instead, he'd come and sat back down with her, going over the functions again. He'd gently explained what she'd mixed up, considerate of the fact that she was new — and he'd reassured her more than once that the screw-up was okay, that she wasn't in trouble.

She hadn't made that mistake again. 

"And he volunteers at the rescue mission but doesn't ever brag about it — I found out from someone else," Gwen continues. "And he is always jumping to help me, changing my tire, giving me a ride home, walking me back to my car in the dark. Not because he wants something out of it or has some ulterior motive, but because he's kind."

Jen rolls over and gives Gwen a sympathetic smile. "You've really got it bad for him," she remarks. 

Gwen closes her eyes and lays back on her pillow. 

* * *

Gwen stares morosely at the road as she drives home on Sunday afternoon after dropping Jen off at the airport. Goodbyes always make her sad, even if they're only for a short while, so not knowing the next time she'll get to see Jen, or any of her family, makes this extra difficult.

And with Jen's departure comes a swell of anxiety as Gwen anticipates all the things she must face now that the weekend is over. Part of her wishes she could have hopped on the plane back to L.A. with her sister-in-law. Go find her mom and lay her head in her lap, like she did when she was a little girl.

But she can't do any of that. Jen had encouraged her numerous times over the remainder of the weekend to be strong and talk to Gavin as soon as possible about her feelings. To even try and talk to Blake about what's going on between them, if she's ready.

Gwen isn't sure what to say to Blake, or if she'll even have the courage to go there. Gavin is another story.

"Hey," she says hesitantly as she enters their apartment.

"Alone at last," he murmurs, coming over to give her a hug. She knows he must feel her stiffen in his arms, and he pulls back to look at her.

"What's wrong with you?"

She shakes her head. "We need to talk, Gavin."

He follows her to the sofa, where she sits down and curls her legs up underneath her.

"Did something happen with Jen?" he asks, confused.

"No... now that she’s gone, though, I really need to talk to you about something that’s been bothering me for a while now,” Gwen says. “I actually did try to talk to you about it before, about how we never see each other anymore, and we seem to want different things from life… and since then it’s just gotten worse, and I don’t see it ever getting better, honestly."

Gavin looks up at the ceiling, clearly not in the mood for her beating around the bush. "What are you trying to say?”

Gwen tries to swallow the lump in her throat as she struggles to get out the next sentence. “I just think we need to… we need to… to break up,” she finally manages to say. “I’m going to stay somewhere else until I find my own place.”

Gavin’s eyes widen and he stands up abruptly. “What? No.”

She doesn't understand how he seems so taken by surprise. Did he really think they could go on like this forever?

Gwen nods, forging ahead despite the stricken look on his face. “Yes. I just think… we’re too different, and it will be for the best if we just let each other go in our own directions.”

She thinks back over their three and a half years together, wondering if there was ever a point where they could have turned things around, prevented themselves from getting to this unhappy ending. She wonders if they would have avoided this fate had they never moved to Nashville.

But if you're not meant to be with someone, you're just not meant to be. No matter where you are.

Gavin rubs his forehead, then grips his hair. “You can’t end things so fast, just like that? You haven’t even given me time to work through what you’re saying…”

“I saw your text messages from Mindy,” Gwen says, finally getting to the hardest part of this conversation. “Friday before I went to get Jen. Are you sleeping with her?”

Gwen specifically doesn't say which texts she saw, in case there are even worse ones she doesn't even know about that he might want to accidentally clue her in on. Gavin's eyebrows raise and he shakes his head.

“Is that what this is really about? You’re jealous of Mindy?"

“No," she replies quickly. "I told you I was already feeling this way about us, and then I saw those messages from her and it just was the final confirmation to me that this has to be over. It is over."

She is shocked when Gavin literally gets down on his knees in front of her.

“Please don’t do this,” he pleads. “Those texts meant nothing — she’s just a very flirty girl, and I don’t want to be rude to her, so I guess she takes it the wrong way and thinks she can talk to me like that.”

Gwen doesn’t believe him, even though his face is filled with pure anguish.

“Gavin… I can’t…”

“You can’t move out,” he interrupts. “You know what I make, I can’t afford this place on my own. How can you just announce you’re leaving, and expect me to deal with losing you and possibly the place I live, all at the same time? Please, Gwen.”

Listening to his begging makes Gwen feels like puking; she doesn’t know how to handle all this guilt he’s dumping on her head. He is appealing to her guilt, her sympathy, her sense of obligation, her need to be a good person. 

This onslaught combined with what happened between her and Blake... she’s emotionally drained. She literally feels the strength leave her body as she sags back against the couch.

“What do you want me to do, Gavin?” she asks weakly. “I still feel the way I feel. I can't stay in this relationship anymore. This is not what I want."

He doesn't seem to have an answer for that. 

They sit in silence for a minute until Gwen musters whatever willpower she has left. She forces herself to walk to the bedroom, getting the suitcase out of the closet that she surreptitiously packed this morning. Rolling it out to the living room, she finds Gavin standing there, staring at the suitcase and now looking very angry.

“Are you fucking someone else?” he asks. “Your boss?”

“No,” she snaps, hating him so much in that moment. He’s lucky she’s not close enough to slap him. She moves to go to the door, but he comes around to block her path and grabs her arm tightly.

“I don’t love anyone but you,” he says, his eyes still angry but his voice a little softer. “We can’t be over, not like this.”

Searching his face and trying to remember the good feelings she once had for him, she takes a breath, shakes her arm free of his grip, and continues.

“I don’t want us to hate each other, Gavin. I just want us both to admit that we’ve outgrown this. Maybe it took coming to Nashville to realize that, but I’m not sorry I came here for you,” she says. “I think this was the change of scenery I needed to realize some other goals of mine. So thank you for that, for getting me out of my California bubble, because I needed that.”

She places her hand on the doorknob, an act that has him clenching his fists at his sides.

She breathes out a sigh of relief when she sees that he is finally going to let her leave.

“Goodbye, Gavin,” she says, feeling emotion rise in her chest. “I’ll come back for the rest of my stuff later. I hope… I hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for.”

* * *

Gwen settles into the guest bedroom at Laney and Jay's condo, hanging up her work shirts and skirts in the closet and leaving everything else in the suitcase.

She feels like an asshole for imposing on them so soon after their wedding, but Laney assures her it’s fine — they’ve been living together for two years already and they’re going on a honeymoon to Italy this summer. They basically returned to completely normal life after their wedding weekend was over.

Gwen has a few leads on decent-looking apartments for rent, so she still hopes to get out of the newlyweds' hair in record time.

"Come sit down and talk," Laney says when Gwen emerges from her room, motioning to the kitchen table where she's poured two glasses of wine. Jay is at the gym, so for the time being they're on their own.

"How are you feeling? How was Gavin?" Laney asks.

Gwen tells her about the last few weeks of her inner battle as she worked up the courage to dump him, the text messages from Mindy, and the final conversation. She tells her everything except anything relating to Blake.

“I’m just relieved that I’m out of there, and I have someone like you willing to take me in,” she says, reaching out to squeeze Laney’s hand. “Thank you so much.”

"You’ll be fine, whatever happens," Laney says. "I'm just glad you're not leaving Nashville all together. I really thought when you called and told me about the impending breakup that you were going to decide to go back to L.A. What made you stay?"

Gwen offers a self-conscious smile. "I feel like I'm finding myself here, I guess,” she says. “It took a while, but I'm making friends, I care about people here... and I love my job. I feel like it could be a real starting point for me. I can't leave yet. Not when there's so much more for me to do here."

Blake’s face materializes in her mind then, even though that situation is such a mystery. She doesn’t know what’s going to come of things with him.

But regardless, staying here is the right thing for her.

It’s her new home.

* * *

The first thing Gwen does when she gets to work on Monday is rifle through her desk to find Majestic’s employee handbook, which is buried in a drawer underneath multiple folders and random papers.

The policies are implemented by their property management company, which oversees their venue and numerous others around the country. They're not negotiable. 

She quickly finds the section she’s looking for.

**“To avoid accusations of favoritism, abuse of authority, and sexual harassment, we strictly prohibit supervisors from dating employees who report to them. If this occurs, the supervisor may face disciplinary action up to and including termination.”**

She glances over at Blake’s office door, which is closed. He’s been on the phone since before she arrived, and she wonders if he might try to avoid her or keep her at a distance, put off having to talk to her.

She wouldn't put it past him after what happened between them the last time they saw each other. There's so much bringing them together, and yet still so much in between them.

Blake is her boss, and it’s clear that he could get in serious trouble for inappropriate behavior with someone he supervises. The last thing she wants to do is mess things up for him again, after what he's already been through. He's worked so hard to get here.

She just wonders if all that work feels worth it to him when he's still clearly so alone.

He probably doesn't want to talk about their kiss, but she knows they have to; they need to clear the air in order to move forward, whatever that is going to look like. She can't just pretend it was her imagination or a dream.

When she sees on her desk phone that his line is no longer busy, she picks up and dials his extension.

"Can I come in or are you busy?" she asks.

"You can come in," he says, his tone of voice betraying nothing.

Gwen stands and slowly opens his door, closing it shut behind her again. He is back in his usual business attire, and it's such a contrast from the version of him she saw the other night — the unguarded, natural musician. She feels her heart stutter when he looks up and their eyes meet.

It almost hurts to see him now that she knows what his lips feel like. It's hard to look at him and not want to kiss him again.

"Good morning," he says, his voice a little scratchy.

Gwen had intended on standing, but finds herself sinking down into the chair across from him. She stares at him, unsure of what to say. Unsure what he's going to say. She exhales a shaky breath, wanting to confront him with the reality of it all, because if he tries to deny it, she won't be able to keep looking at him.

"Um... I thought we'd better talk about the other night," she says. "When we..." She can't get the words out, her pride too strong to make herself say it: _when we kissed_.

Blake rubs his forehead before running his hand through his hair, looking at her with regret. "I'm sorry about that," he says softly, looking tired. "What happened... can't happen."

She had a feeling that's what he was going to say. Hearing him say that he's sorry he kissed her is crushing. But at the same time, she doesn't want to make this hard for him. As much as she cares for him, their work policy is clear and unyielding.

Even if he were open to this, there's no conceivable way they can be together while he's her direct supervisor. He would be the one to suffer the consequences, and knowing what he's overcome to get to where he is — she knows he can't risk it. She can't ask him to.

"I know," she replies sadly. "I know it can't."

It would do him no good for her to tell him that she can't stop thinking about him anyway. That he's exactly what she'd want in a man if he were attainable. It's better that her feelings for him remain left unsaid.

"I want you to know how much I value this job," she continues. "I don't want to make you regret hiring me."

He stares at her, his blue eyes indiscernible. "I couldn't," he says finally, shaking his head. 

Even though the air conditioner unit in his office is blowing cold, Gwen feels perspiration at her brow as she sits locked in his gaze. The air is thick with tension, and she's not sure how much longer she can stand to sit here. What else can they say? What more can they do? Their friendship escalated into something unexplainable faster than she could even fathom what was happening, and now they're at an impasse. She has to get out of here before she starts to cry.

"Anyway, I just wanted to clear the air... I'm glad we're cool," she says, almost choking on her words. "I'll go back to my desk now."

She realizes her legs are trembling when she moves to stand and has to grip the back of the chair to steady herself.

This whole situation is having a more profound effect on her than she could ever have imagined when she first started working here.

"Gwen," Blake says, as she almost reaches his door. She turns back around.

"I don't... I don't think I ever said thank you, for what you said about my songs the other night," he says. "I don't usually stick around for feedback after playing, so... it was nice to hear that someone liked it. That _you_ liked it."

Gwen intakes a breath, emotion surging through her as she examines the vulnerable look on his face.

"Did you write those songs?" she asks.

He nods, once.

She curls her bottom lip under her teeth, nodding. "They were amazing."

With that, she exits his office, sitting down on her own chair in a daze.

_What happened can't happen._

But these intense feelings, persistent and torturous, swim through her unabated anyway.


	11. Chapter 11

He thought it would still be safe.

Even though he was attracted to her from the second he laid eyes on her, she had a boyfriend and he's a professional — he wasn’t going to let himself even think about going there. 

Of all the applicants who came in, she was the only one with previous experience at a comparable theatre, and she'd clearly left an equal or possibly even better job at a record label in Los Angeles. She was perfect for Majestic, and he couldn't not hire her just because he had a feeling deep down that she could possibly be trouble for him. 

So he offered her the job, and she accepted. 

He was determined to regard her just as he would any other employee, fairly and accurately. He would judge her based on performance and let her know if she wasn't doing the job the way she was supposed to.

But of course, she was better than he even expected. He didn't have any complaints. 

And so in addition to being impressed by her work ethic and how clearly meant she was for event production, he had to pretend not to notice everything else there was to like about her.

She isn’t just beautiful; she’s radiant.

She has this appealing shyness combined with spikes of confidence, and from day one she could see right through him no matter how much he tried to shield her from who he really was. 

Blake arrives home Monday night, mentally exhausted after a day of dealing with some upcoming concert drama, a stage technician who had just abruptly quit right before a show, and not least of all, the brief but intense conversation he and Gwen had had about his screw-up — about him briefly losing his ability to pretend with her. 

He thought he was stronger than this, but apparently not. 

He thought she’d still be safe, but it turned out she wasn’t, not at all.

He'd worked at denying his attraction for her for almost six months, and all that work had gone to the wayside in just one weak moment outside that downtown bar.

It turned out it didn't matter that she had a boyfriend and that he was a professional — he still couldn't help himself. And now things are awkward as hell, because he knows as well as she does that he shouldn't have done it. 

Any decent company would have a rule against bosses fraternizing with their employees, and Majestic is no different. It's wrong, it's unethical, and what the hell was he even thinking? 

Besides the whole policy aspect of it, he doesn't even know what could happen with Gwen. What she wants, or what he's even ready for.

He hasn’t felt this way about anyone since his fiancée took a sledgehammer to his heart. The thought of going through that again is enough to discourage any romantic thoughts he’s had about any woman, ever.

And as far as he knows, she's still with that boyfriend of hers that doesn't make time for her. 

All that on top of the fact that a relationship with his assistant would be forbidden anyway.

The employee he works more closely with than anyone else. He couldn’t have picked a worse person to fall for.

For the rest of the day after their confrontation, they had avoided each other. She'd come to his door one time again that afternoon, but never went further than the doorframe. He'd walked into the break room while she was already in there, and she'd hurriedly made her exit. 

He's pretty much screwed up their whole dynamic, one he thought was pretty fucking great.

When he gets out of the shower, he sees that he has a missed call from Endy. They haven't really talked since her recent visit. 

"Hey bro," she greets him when he returns the call. "Just wanted to check and see how you're doing." 

"I'm fine," he says, surveying his empty-feeling apartment. In five years the only people he’s had over are his mother and sister when they visit, and some one night stands he never saw again. 

"You sound so cheerful," she says sarcastically. "What's the weather like there? Getting warmer?" 

"Yeah," Blake says. "Did you really call me to talk about the weather?" 

Endy laughs. "Just trying to get a conversation out of you," she says. "Hey, how's Gwen, your receptionist? She was really nice."

"Executive assistant," Blake corrects her. "And thanks for reminding me that I wanted to ask you — what the hell were you thinking telling her all that stuff about me?"

Endy is quiet for a moment, and he can just envision her forehead crinkling as she works to explain her way out of this one. 

"She seemed worried about you," Endy says. “I knew I could trust her. I thought I'd give her a clue into what the heck is wrong with you.”

"Thanks a lot."

"I'm serious. You need friends there, people who have your back. I'm trying to help you."

Blake shakes his head, wondering how Endy thinks telling Gwen about her boss getting arrested and essentially chased out of his hometown is helping anything. 

"I was right, wasn't I? She understands, doesn't she?" Endy asks.

"Please don't share my business here with anyone else like that again," he says. "I'm begging you." 

"I won't," Endy says. He can hear her sulking through her voice. "I love you and want the best for you. You know that, right?"

"I know. I love you, too." 

Blake has to admit, Endy _was_ right. Gwen couldn't have been more sympathetic and caring and sensitive about the whole thing, which is the only reason Endy didn't get a very angry phone call immediately following that conversation. 

Unfortunately for him, it was just one more thing adding to the list of things that made him want to be even closer to her. 

Which was exactly what he didn't need. 

* * *

"Guess what?" 

Roger's exuberant face at his office door first thing in the morning doesn't align with the dour mood Blake is in. 

"What?" he asks cautiously. 

"Remember the 40 Under 40 thing I nominated you for a few months ago? That questionnaire I guilted you into filling out?" 

"Yes..." 

"You made the cut!" Roger comes around to hug Blake's shoulders, and Blake shakes his head chuckling as he tries to steady himself. 

"What does this mean, exactly?" he asks. 

Blake had gone ahead and filled out the nominee questionnaire about himself after incessant hounding from Roger, but he wasn't sure what it even accomplished.

"It means you'll be featured in Nashville Business Journal's 40 Under 40 issue, they'll want to interview you and take your picture."

That sounds... pretty terrible to Blake. "Ugh, I don't want to do that," he says. "Do I have to?" 

Roger nods without sympathy. "Yep, you have to, sorry. It's not just a great honor for you, but it will be great press for the Majestic, too,” he says. “It will be all about what you've done for the theatre since you took over. Sorry, buddy. I know you don't like attention, but this is too good of an opportunity to pass up." 

The two men hear a light knock at the open door and look to see Gwen standing there. She gives them a quizzical look, most likely noting Roger’s huge grin. Blake is pretty sure his face is beet red from surprise mixed with discontent. He _really_ doesn’t want to be in a magazine.

"What's going on?"

"Blake was named one of Nashville Business Journal's 40 Under 40," Roger says proudly. "They publish profiles on forty noteworthy businesspeople under the age of forty around the city. I nominated him and he made it!"

"Wow, congratulations," Gwen says to Blake, catching his eye. "It looks like you're racking up the awards this year. Best of Nashville and now this."

Blake gives her a small smile. 

"Well, you know what that means," Gwen says, looking back at Roger. "We have to have a party." 

Blake shakes his head, widening his eyes and holding up a hand. "No," he says. "No party."

But the expression on Roger's face tells him that it's already two against one. Blake’s head swivels back and forth between the two as they begin to coordinate this whole thing without him.

"Yes, we can have a party this Friday for him," Roger says. "Just here at the theatre for all the employees. Two days enough for you to get it together?"

"For sure," Gwen replies. "I'll order cupcakes with Blake's face on them."

"That's perfect!" Roger is beaming. “And can you get balloons in the shape of the number 40?”

"Are you two just pretending I'm not even sitting here?" Blake asks.

"Yep," Roger says cheerily. "Gwen and I will make sure it's all set up for Friday." 

He exits the office whistling, leaving Gwen and Blake alone. 

This is what they've been avoiding the past couple of days. Blake expects Gwen to quickly follow behind Roger, but instead she lingers. 

"Are you really uncomfortable with the idea of a party?" she asks, looking at him with at least a little bit of pity. 

He shakes his head. Maybe a party is what they need to lift some spirits around here. Particularly his and hers. They can’t act like they’re walking on eggshells around each other forever.

"I don't want to ruin Roger's fun," he replies. "It's fine." 

Gwen nods and gives him knowing look. "So you won't be mysteriously calling in sick on Friday, right?"

Blake cracks a smile. "Nah."

She smiles back at him, the smile she always gives him that he doesn't feel he deserves. One containing a mix of admiration and affection. "Good." 

She twists her hands in front of her and shrugs. "Okay, well... guess I'll get back to my desk now. I’ve got a party to plan." 

Blake almost wants to stop her, tell her to come sit down. Try to reestablish the easy camaraderie they had before. 

But instead he stays quiet and lets her leave. 

* * *

The 40 Under 40 party is winding down with the end of the workday approaching, and Blake has to admit, it was a good idea.

Everyone is already in a great mood because the weekend is upon them, and a party just elevated the cheerfulness in the building. Gwen did a really nice job with the decorations and catering, and he appreciates the sentiment even if he still thinks it’s silly that he made this dumb list. And he’s still not looking forward to having to get his picture taken.

After spending most of the party talking to every single person in attendance, Blake has finally found time to eat one of the cupcakes featuring his face, which feels a bit creepy. He is just finishing one when he feels a light tap on his back. He turns around to find Gwen. 

"I'm about to head out, but I just wanted to tell you congratulations again," she says. "You really deserve it." 

She gives him an odd little smile, and he suddenly feels self-conscious. 

"What?" 

"It's just, you have some frosting on your lip," Gwen says, pointing at the spot.

"Oh." Blake wipes his mouth quickly. "Did I get it?" 

She shakes her head slightly, moving closer. Before he knows what she's doing, she reaches up and rubs her thumb along his lips, gently. He freezes in place as her hand drifts away. 

"Got it," she says quietly, still looking at his mouth. 

They’d gotten used to allowing little touches with each other, all seemingly innocuous before, easy to explain away.

But now that they’ve kissed, now that they have this underlying knowledge between them that this kind of big thing happened and they have to act like it didn’t… one small action like this is enough to leave him reeling.

They stare at each other for a moment until Laney breaks them out of their fixation, calling out to Gwen as she leaves the room. "I'll see you back at home, Gwen." 

Blake looks at Gwen curiously. "What does she mean?" 

He sees Gwen's face turn a little pink, something that happens often, he’s noticed. She just can't hide when she's flustered or caught by surprise. 

"Oh, well..." she says. "I kind of broke up with Gavin and moved out. Laney is letting me stay with her until I get my own place."

Blake’s pulse begins to race, and he struggles to keep a straight face.

"Wow," he says quietly. "What made you decide to do that?" 

He almost wants to kick himself for even asking. It's not like he thinks it really has anything to do with him — she and Gavin were obviously having problems almost from the moment they moved here. He hopes she doesn't think that's what he's fishing to hear. 

"Kind of the same reasons I told you about before," she says. "Gavin and I just needed something... different from each other. _I_ need something different... something better."

She doesn’t expound on that, just stares at him, not breaking eye contact. He swallows harshly and grasps for his next question.

"Well... how long have you been staying with Laney? I had no idea." 

"It’s just been a few days," she replies. "I'm hoping to get my own apartment soon, just trying to figure out the best location combined with something I can afford. I'm still not familiar with all of the different neighborhoods around here, you know — it's still all kinda new." 

Blake nods. "Well, if you need any advice..." he trails off, regretting saying that.

Things are still weird between them, and keeping their distance with regards to any personal matters is probably for the best. 

She seems to sense his withdrawal of that offer the second he says it, and her face clouds over. 

"Oh, I'm probably good," she says, letting him off the hook. "But thank you."

He nods and gives her a little wave. "Well, I'll let you go."

The phrase is ironic in its application to their situation, in more ways than one. Gwen bites her lip and gives him a wave back. He’s not sure, but it looks like disappointment on her face. He wonders what else she wanted him to say.

"Sure thing,” she says. “See ya later."

He stands with his hands in his pockets, watching her walk away.

“Hey Gwen?” he hears himself call out to her. He didn’t know he was going to do that.

She turns on her heel, and he motions for her to come closer.

“Yeah?”

“I’m an ass,” he says. “You planned this whole party, and I never got the chance to tell you what a great job you did. Thank you.”

Gwen looks around at her hard work, clearly proud of the result. “You’re welcome. It was fun. A good way to end this week… it’s been a lot.”

He can only imagine what it’s been like for her, dealing with the end of a long-term relationship on top of the mess that he himself has put her through. He wishes he could do something to make her feel better. He can at least make an effort.

“I meant what I said, about advice on places to look for an apartment,” he says. “I actually have a realtor acquaintance who could help with suggestions on locations in your price range. I’ll email you his information — it could make the process a whole lot easier. He’ll help you, no charge. Just tell him you got his email from me.”

Gwen smiles at him gratefully. “Wow, that really would be helpful,” she says. “Thank you.”

They say their goodbyes again, and this time Blake feels much lighter watching her leave.

It’s always the same story for him — he can’t keep himself from wanting to pull her back to him, from wanting to help her. His resistance when it comes to her is continuing to weaken, no matter how hard he tries.

It’s going to remain a problem.


	12. Chapter 12

The sound of her mother's voice on the other side of the telephone line is what pushes her over the edge.

"Hey mama," Gwen says, trying to keep her voice controlled as she stares out across her desk. Everyone else is gone for the day, even Blake, but Gwen found herself sticking behind, trying to organize some files in her computer in a way she can't organize her own brain.

"I haven't heard from you in a little while, everything okay?" her mom asks.

Gwen feels her eyes brimming with tears already. She misses her family so much.

"I'm sorry. I've been so busy, but I should have called you when I got a chance," Gwen apologizes. "I'm okay."

"You don't sound okay," her mom says. "Everything all right with Gavin?"

Gwen sighs. "Sure."

Even though it’s been two weeks, she still hasn’t told her parents about her and Gavin’s breakup yet. It's too humiliating to put into words. She wonders if she will look like an idiot to everyone back in California for moving here for him, for something that was just destined to fail. Her parents had warned her they didn’t think it was a good idea, but of course she didn’t listen to them.

She doesn't want her mom and dad to worry about her being out across the country alone. She knows they will think she's crazy for staying. They won’t understand why she doesn't just come home. 

She’s not ready to try and explain all of this to her mother, but she will once she's settled in a permanent place. Thanks to Blake’s realtor friend, she's got an apartment lined up and will be moving in very soon.

"Not much going on with me right now, Mom, but I promise to keep you updated," she lies.

"How's work going? Still good?" her mom asks, none the wiser.

Her job is the one thing keeping Gwen sane right now. She's learned so much about venue management and event production, and she knows if she had the chance, she'd love to continue working her way up, maybe eventually become a stage or production manager. But she doesn't know if she's meant to do it here or not.

As much as she loves being around Blake, things have been so tense between them since their kiss and his declaration that it "can't happen."

Dealing with this unspoken connection they both have to pretend not to feel, this current of electricity between them that can never be explored — it's a constant struggle. She doesn't know how much longer she can stand it.

"I love my job," is all she says to her mom. "I'm still here right now, actually. Probably heading out soon, though."

Her mom chats for a few more minutes before putting Gwen's dad on the line. He tells her he loves her and is proud of her, words that send tears streaming down her face.

She tries to keep the emotion absent from her voice. She doesn’t want them to be concerned about her. "I love you guys. I'll talk to you soon."

She hangs up the phone, lets a few more drops slide down her cheeks, then wipes her face, determined to be stronger than this.

She's a big girl, and she can take control of her life. It will all be okay.

As her computer shuts down, she hears the door slam down the hallway, and her heart jumps. Only one other person would be coming back here to the administrative offices past 6 p.m. on a non-event night.

"What are you doing here?" Blake asks when he reaches her, looking at her with hesitation. 

“I was just about to head out, actually," she says, standing. He gazes at her for a moment, opening his mouth and then shutting it again.

"What?" she asks, too tired to pretend she can't tell that he wants to say something.

"It's just... Have you been crying?"

Gwen sighs and pulls out her compact, looking in the little mirror at herself. Her eyeshadow is all smeared, her cheeks wet and blotchy.

"Well, damn," she murmurs, pulling out a makeup wipe from her purse and cleaning her face up. Blake just stands by, watching her.

"What's got you so upset?" he asks, concern in his voice.

She shakes her head. "I just got emotional talking to my mom," she says. "I miss her."

He nods, opening his office door. "I know the feeling," he says, hushed to the point where she's sure he didn't mean for her to hear him.

She remembers she's not the only one homesick here, even if he won't admit it. 

"When's the last time you saw your mom?" she asks, following Blake and standing by the open door.

"Maybe last summer," he says. "It's hard for her to get out here. The drive is long."

"She must be so proud of you," Gwen says, looking around Blake's office, gazing at the Best of Nashville trophy that he’s set up on his bookshelf, right next to his brand new 40 Under 40 plaque. 

But Blake gives her an eyebrow raise and points at himself. "Of me? You forget who you're talking to?"

It's rare that he would reference his past aloud, the one that she and no one else in Nashville is aware of. They haven’t actually spoken of it since their big conversation over a month ago, when he gave her more insight into what happened in Ada.

It catches her by surprise so much that she takes a second to register what he just said. She looks back at the awards on his bookshelf. No matter how many accolades he acquires here, something keeps him from fully believing what they represent. 

Because they didn’t come from home.

"No, I didn't forget," she says, stepping further into his office. Her annoyance with his stubbornness makes her momentarily forget that they're supposed to be in this purgatory of over-politeness and keeping their separate space. He stands by his desk, crossing his arms. 

“I know exactly who I’m talking to,” she continues.

"You are way too idealistic about me," Blake replies with a wry smile.

"No, I'm not," she says. "I'm just honest about what I think, and I'm not going to pretend to go along with your self-deprecating moods just because it makes you uncomfortable to hear how great you are."

Blake shakes his head, looking at her with a combination of incredulity and disbelief.

"I have never met anyone like you," he says, chuckling a little cynically. "How is it that you go about every day like this — seeing the best in everything — no matter what the circumstances?"

Gwen almost has to laugh. If only he knew what a mess she really is.

"I mean, you just saw me crying. I have bad days just like everybody else," she says. "If one day sucks, you go to sleep and you wake up the next day and try again. That’s life. And don't act like you don't have that same determination inside you — look at what you did. You lost everything and you picked yourself up and you came out here and you made something of yourself."

"But I didn't fix what went wrong,” Blake counters, shaking his head. “I just ran off, went somewhere new."

"So? What's wrong with that? Moving on and starting from nothing might have been even harder. And if something isn’t fixable, maybe it belongs in the trash."

Gwen pauses, hoping that doesn't sound too harsh. She’s just learned from recent experience, like with Gavin, that holding on to something that’s not working for you isn’t necessarily the right or courageous thing to do. Sometimes it’s braver to let go.

"For what it's worth, I don't think Ada is irreparable for you,” she continues. “You could go back tomorrow if you wanted, and before long you'd probably be running that place, too."

She walks right up to him, getting close enough to him with hopes that he can see the honesty in her face. She wants him to know that she understands him. She knows who he really is.

"What is it going to take for you to see yourself how others see you?" she asks earnestly. "You don't have to hide out from the world..."

They lock eyes, exchanging a look that hits her so forcefully she realizes that cliché phrase of being "weak in the knees" is a real thing. She grabs his arms to steady herself.

"Gwen..." he says. His voice is shaky now, and she knows that he feels it, too.

"You don't have to hide from me," she finishes her last sentiment. 

She doesn't know who moves first, or maybe they both move at the same time. But in the next second they are kissing, more aggressively and more deliberately than last time, the repeated press of their lips the only sound in the room.

"Dammit," he leans back just enough to whisper before she arches up and kisses him again. He doesn't resist her, his tongue breaching her lips as she pulls him closer.

They back up just enough for her to sit on his desk, tugging him down by his tie so that he can continue kissing her as he splays his hands on either side of her hips.

A few more kisses and she feels him trying to pull away again, but she grips his waist tightly. She doesn't want this spell broken yet. "Wait," she says, a plea and a command.

Blake shakes his head, a tormented look on his face, before he moves in again, kissing her passionately, his fingers coming up to tangle in her hair, holding the back of her head steady. 

After another minute, he finally succeeds in making himself break away from her, panting. His eyes are filled with some emotion — maybe lust, maybe fear, maybe love — maybe all of it.

"Gwen..." he says, shaking his head. 

She already knows what he's going to say. Nothing has changed, at least not externally.

They may have been changing this whole time inside, their hearts and their minds drawing closer to each other every day, in the little details of their daily work interactions, in the big details whenever they'd actually be open and honest with each other.

But the outside circumstances are still the same, rigid and unchanging. He is her boss, and he looks like he hates himself for crossing that ethical line right now.

It takes all of Gwen's strength to pull away, but she thinks she'd rather deal with the uncertainty tonight then hear whatever it is he's going to say.

At least give them both time to think about their words before they speak them out in the open.

"I'll go," she whispers, still trying to catch her breath. "We'll talk more tomorrow."

Blake just nods, shoving his hands in his pockets.

On autopilot, Gwen turns and walks out, down the hallway, out to her car, turning the key in the ignition.

* * *

Gwen has just pulled into the parking lot of Jay and Laney’s complex when she hears her text message signal. Hoping it’s Blake, she grabs her phone from her purse with a pounding heart.

Instead, she looks to see an incoming series of messages from Gavin.

_Can we talk?_

_I miss you_

_I love you_

_Please talk to me_

She shakes her head to herself, putting the phone away.

“Nope,” she murmurs. “No, no, no.”

The last thing she needs is to talk to Gavin on the heels of making out with Blake.

This is what he did the last time they broke up, back in California. He gave her space for about five seconds and then started texting, calling. Back then, she had been susceptible to his wooing because she wasn't over him and secretly wanted him back. She wanted to give in to him, was willing to go meet up with him after he left roses on her doorstep, set up a romantic picnic at the park. It was all too easy for him back then. 

If he thinks he's going to do that again, he'll be wasting his time. But she's not letting him waste hers. She deletes his messages without a reply.

She trudges upstairs, using the key Laney gave her to enter their condo. Laney and Jay are cuddled up on the couch together, watching television. Gwen can’t help but feel like a third wheel every time she’s there with them together. Thankfully she's finalizing the rental of her new apartment this week, and she'll be out of their way shortly thereafter. She owes them big time for taking her in when she had nowhere else to go. 

“You worked late tonight,” Laney comments, giving Gwen a curious smile. “Was Blake still there when you left?”

Hearing his name makes Gwen's heart jump, and all she can do is nod her confirmation. She can’t talk about him or even think about him right now, not after what happened. Laney will see something’s up simply by the look on her face.

“Gwen, we got pizza earlier and the rest of it’s in the fridge,” Jay says. “Help yourself.”

Gwen nods and smiles gratefully at them. “Thanks, I’ll do that after I take a shower,” she says. “I’ll probably go to bed early tonight.”

She tries not to look at them with too much envy, the newly married couple, so content and in love. If only she could find that kind of happiness, that kind of peaceful relationship with someone. With Blake.

She’s afraid to hope for it, though. She’s afraid to hope for anything.


	13. Chapter 13

On her way to work the next morning, Gwen drops off a check to the leasing office, officially cementing her rental of an apartment about fifteen minutes from where she lived with Gavin.

She found the place super quick, and they’re even willing to let her move in within the week. The one thing she’s dreading is going back to her old apartment later to get the rest of her stuff. Mostly all she wants to grab are clothes, shoes, and some random household items.

She’s planning the covert pickup for a time when she knows Gavin likely won’t be home. It bothers her that he’s started trying to communicate with her again, right when she was getting comfortable in thinking he’d accepted their breakup.

Blake is already in his office when Gwen arrives to work, so she taps on the side of the open door lightly and steps inside, closing it behind her. It’s time for a moment of truth, here in the light of day.

She knows they are in an untenable situation, but she wants to know what he’s thinking now that they’ve completely crossed the line, even more blatantly than the first time.

"I thought we better just go ahead and talk right now,” she says facing him, keeping her voice strong. “I know you’re going to tell me it shouldn’t have happened... again.”

“Well, you’re right.”

She studies him, wondering how much he had to psyche himself up before seeing her. How long it took him to put back on this coat of armor that’s strong enough to keep his attraction to her at bay.

“But you can’t tell me it didn’t mean anything to you.” She levels her gaze at him. “If you say it didn’t mean anything, I won’t believe you.”

He runs his eyes over her, his mouth a flat line. “I can’t say that because it did mean something. It means a lot.”

Though his admission should buoy her, she can tell by the tone of his voice that he’s already made his mind up about the direction this conversation is going to take.

She nods. “Then how can you say it shouldn’t have happened?”

"You know why. I am your boss," Blake says, his voice strained. "I could get fired for what happened. I should get fired, for taking advantage of you."

Gwen has to laugh, shaking her head with ardor.

“My God, taking advantage of me? Please, Blake. I practically threw myself at you. You can't be taking advantage of me when I want this... when I want you."

It feels good to admit that to him aloud, finally, even if she knows his rejection is most likely on its way. He doesn’t feel he has any other choice.

Blake shakes his head to himself. “It's so inappropriate, and I know better than this.”

Gwen sits down in the chair, her legs feeling shaky. She doesn't want to ask him to risk his job just to be with her. It's selfish, and she cares about him too much to do that, ultimately. But if what they're feeling is too powerful to resist, how can they possibly continue on like this? 

“I can find another job,” she says weakly. “I could go somewhere else.”

It's the wrong thing to say. Blake looks at her, exasperated.

“So because I can’t control myself around my employee, she has to leave a job she loves?”

His voice rises slightly, and she can see him use a concerted pause in order to take his volume level down. “No," he says. “It has to… it has to stop right here. And the solution is... we just have to stay away from each other as much as we can, leave the door open when you’re in my office, try to work together… from a distance.”

Stay away from each other. She's his righthand person. They work side by side, every day. It's not possible.

“We already tried to keep our distance from each other, after the first time we kissed, and that didn't work,” she points out.

“We’ll just have to try harder,” he says.

“What if you weren’t my boss?” she continues on. “What if we met at a bar, and we had a drink, and got to talking, and… would you want me then?”

It’s a fantasy, she knows, but she just wants to hear from him. If their job didn’t preclude them from having a relationship, would he want to go there with her — would he even let himself? Would they have a shot? 

“You can do much better than me,” is his answer, which makes her sigh heavily. He’s avoiding the real question.

And this is obviously about more than the fact that he’s her boss.

“What is that even supposed to mean?" she says, frustrated. "Just because you lost the love you had before doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it from someone again."

Blake’s head twists toward her, his eyes widening.

“What are you talking about?”

Gwen realizes, for the very first time, that while she told Blake that she knew about his infamous fight, and losing his job — she had never mentioned that she also knows he’d lost his fiancée over the whole ordeal. She assumed he knew that Endy included that detail, but from the stunned way he's looking at her... maybe not. She feels her heart rate increasing.

“Your sister also told me about your broken engagement,” she admits, bowing her head.

Blake sits back down at his desk, looking off into space behind Gwen.

"I know that must have really hurt you, maybe even more than everything else," she continues. "I'm sorry."

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, he starts to speak.

“I would have stayed if she hadn’t turned on me like everybody else,” he says. “She was there, she saw the whole thing. The guy was getting handsy with her, he wouldn’t leave her alone, and I tried to help. He wanted to fight. And she knows it was an accident, what happened. I pushed him off me, and I don’t know, I think he tripped and propelled himself straight into the window. It all happened so fast.”

Gwen sits frozen, her full attention on him.

“I felt so low,” he says. “I already hated myself for what happened, and then everyone else just seemed to confirm that I was right to hate myself. Including her. I got out of jail after they decided not to press charges, and she wouldn't answer my calls at first. That was a clue. Maybe she was waiting to see how it would play out, but... after I lost my job, she finally told me she couldn’t do it, she didn’t want to marry me anymore. So I decided to leave. I had nothing left there.” 

Gwen feels tears brimming in her eyes at the unfairness of it all. “Where is she now? Do you know?”

Blake shakes his head. “I think she’s still there, but I’m not sure. I haven’t asked Endy or my mom about her in a while, and they know not to bring her up. It’s just a lot of bad memories at this point.”

Gwen wishes she could express what she’s thinking right now — that Miranda sucks for abandoning him like that — but she knows better than to offer that opinion in this moment. She also knows better than to offer pity or sympathy.

“I meant what I said,” she says quietly. “You say I can do better than you? How? I don’t think I’ve ever met a better man than you. And you didn't answer my question before.” She takes a deep breath, gathering up her courage. "Can you just admit to me how you really feel? That I'm not just imagining things? If our circumstances were different — would you want me?" 

Blake pauses and looks down at the ground, tired and resigned.

"You have to know by now that I want you," he says quietly. “But you can’t always get what you want.”

He looks at her, his face pained. “It's impossible, and it's probably better for you that it is.”

Gwen tries to protest again, but she is rendered quiet when Blake walks over to her in two strides and grips her arms.

“Please listen to me,” he says softly. “You are amazing, and you are going to go so far in your career. You’re going to move on from here eventually, when the time is right for you and the right job comes along. Maybe here, maybe back in L.A., or New York. And when you do, you’ll be glad you didn’t let this roadblock get in your way.”

She shakes her head, wanting to scream. It's not up to him to tell her what she should do and what she should want. She knows what she wants. 

“You’re not a fucking roadblock,” she whispers, looking for more words to say when a knock at his door startles them both.

“Come in,” Blake says, moving away from her and back to behind his desk.

Roger peeks inside, giving Gwen a wave. “Sorry to interrupt. Do you have a minute to talk?” he asks Blake.

Blake nods, and Gwen tries to hide her flustered state from Roger as she walks past him to the door.

She slumps down at her desk, unsure what else there is to do or say.

She may just have to accept that their reality doesn’t lead to a happy ending. At least not together.

* * *

The past few days have been torture.

Maybe they could have eventually swept one brief kiss under the rug. But what happened the other night in his office was evidence of everything they're really feeling, and their confessions that they do want each other hang in the air every time they're in the same room.

The tension they’d already been experiencing following the first kiss has only been magnified a thousand times — every look that lasts a little too long, every greeting or farewell, every time she stands at his door and wants to say something else, and he tells her she can go — it's all fraught with the nuance of what they both want and what they can't have. 

On top of that, Gavin’s text messages and calls have been coming more regularly, his pleas to see her and talk to her more insistent.

_I need to see you_

_Stop ignoring me_

And he'd left a voicemail, once again trying to guilt her into talking to him: _"Why won’t you at least respond to let me know you’re okay?"_

She’s not answered a single message, but he refuses to catch a hint.

All of it together makes her feel like she’s about to explode.

Gwen's desk phone rings, the caller ID displaying an area code she's unfamiliar with. Expecting it to be a telemarketer, she still answers with her usual professional greeting: "Majestic Theatre, office of Blake Shelton, how may I help you?"

"Hi, uh..." a hesitant female voice says. "Is Blake available?"

Gwen looks over at his closed door; his line on the phone is also blinking red to indicate it's busy. He got on a conference call a half-hour ago, and it must still be going on.

"I'm sorry, he's on the other line right now,” Gwen replies. “I can take a message and have him return your call."

There's a long pause before the woman lets out a heavy exhale. "Okay, I guess I'll try that. Just tell him that Miranda called, and here's my number."

Gwen copies the number down with robotic movements, her heart pounding when she hangs up the phone.

It has to be the notorious Miranda, the one he doesn't even like to talk about. What could she be calling for?

Another half-hour later, Blake's line goes blank and Gwen knows she has to tell him about his message. She figures it will be better to relay in person rather than email him, which is what she has been doing ever since he told her they needed to keep their distance.

Tapping on his door, she waits to hear his "come in" before entering. He notices the apprehensive expression on her face and sits up straight. "What is it?"

Gwen silently puts the piece of paper on his desk with the name and number.

"She called while you were on the phone," Gwen tells him. "I... I didn't ask what she wants. But she wants you to call her back."

Blake stares at the paper, a frown on his face. "Can't imagine why she thinks I would do that," he murmurs.

Gwen shakes her head. "I don't know... She sounded nervous, if that makes any difference. She didn't sound mad or whatever."

She can't believe she's about to say the next line, but she knows that if there's any hope of Blake getting the closure he needs from certain things in his past, facing those ghosts is what he needs to do.

"Maybe you should call her. Maybe she wants to apologize."

Blake shakes his head. "I doubt it. But... maybe I will call her back... just to see what this is all about."

Gwen nods, biting her lip. It didn’t take much to convince him, did it? 

"Well, if you need anything, just... let me know." She backs out of his office, anxiety twisting inside.

What if Miranda wants him back? What if, despite his mask of disdain, deep down he wants her back, too?

If this had happened before they started sporadically kissing each other, Blake would probably be confiding in her more about how he feels.... and he'd probably ask her advice, tell her what happens after he returns the call.

Instead, she's now back on the outside of his life looking in, and all she can do is sit and wait to see what happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is probably a little frustrating, but it's leading to a ~turning point~


	14. Chapter 14

He doesn't look up as she drops onto the stool next to him, her perfume as familiar as it is stomach-turning with the memories it brings to his mind.

"This seat taken?" she asks, a lightness to her voice that in no way matches the ominousness he feels at their present situation.

Blake finally glances at her, a flurry of negative emotions flooding him as he examines the face of the fiancée who broke his heart when he was already at his lowest. Miranda orders a dry martini from the bartender and then turns back to Blake.

"How are you doing?" she asks, her eyes peering into his.

He regards her for a moment, using his finger to circle the rim of the glass of vodka sitting in front of him.

"I'm doing well," he says finally, and he's glad he can say that without it being a lie, all things considered. He could be doing a lot worse, in fact.

"I'm sorry to just drop in on you like this, without too much warning," she says. "I came here on a girls' trip and decided to look you up. I wasn't sure if you'd want to see me."

They sit in silence for a moment, him waiting for her to continue. When she doesn't, he sighs with impatience.

"So, what did you actually want to see me for?" he asks finally.

"I..." she trails off and wipes a drop of water off the bar counter with her hand. That's when he notices the diamond on her left ring finger.

"The girls' trip I'm here for is actually my bachelorette party. I'm getting married."

Blake takes a sip of his drink, glad that the news doesn't hit him harder. He actually wouldn’t have been surprised if she had already gotten married years ago. "Congrats."

"But lately I've been thinking about you a lot, and I just wanted to, I don't know, see if you were okay. I don't feel like I can move forward with a clean conscience if I don't know that you're okay.”

"Well, I told you," he says. "I'm fine."

"I saw your mom, at her shop a few weeks ago," Miranda continues, and Blake feels annoyed that she would even go there. "She said she misses you, doesn't see you much."

"Well, that's not really your concern, is it?" he asks. "Why would you go see my mom anyway?"

Miranda stutters, taken aback by the aggravation he can no longer hide from his voice.

"I was curious about you," she says, sighing. She reaches over and lightly touches his wrist. "I was thinkin' about all we went through, how close we were to that happily ever after I thought we'd get. Maybe it's this wedding getting me all in my head, but I just remembered how much I wanted to marry you. I do miss you."

Blake pulls his arm away, setting his hands in his lap. So she's got a little bit of cold feet for this fiancé too, it seems.

He wasn't sure if he would have the wherewithal to tell her everything that's been going through his mind since she called, but now that she's here, he doesn't hold back. 

"I missed you for a long time," he says finally, looking directly at her. "I hated myself for so long for losing you. But I realized, maybe even just recently, that you leaving me meant you never really knew me, you know? And maybe I didn't really know you either, because I thought of all people, you would have been the one who had my back. You _should_ have been the one."

It wasn't until recently, he thinks, that he understood the importance of finding someone who supports you no matter what.

Maybe because he never really had that with Miranda, didn't know it was even possible to meet a person who could believe in you one hundred percent.

But then, out of nowhere, someone came into his life who showed him what that could be like. 

Miranda surprises him by looking remorseful. "I regret what I did to you," she says. "I was just embarrassed by all of the attention and the gossip, and my friends started telling me that I shouldn't stay with you. I don't know why I listened to them, I really don't. I was just insecure, I guess, and I thought all of our dreams had been ruined. So I ran away."

Blake nods, not particularly sympathetic to this explanation, but he can somewhat see where she's coming from. Still, they'd been together for four years at that point, and yet it was so easy for her to walk away. For so long he felt like it was his fault. 

"I was wrong," she continues. "I still wonder so much what life would be like if none of that mess had ever happened. If we'd have gotten married."

Blake doesn't have to use much of his imagination. He's sure they'd have settled down in Ada. He'd still be city manager, with no vision for progressing to anything else. He enjoyed the work there, but other opportunities were limited. He's sure he would have gotten bored of it eventually, but he wouldn't have ever pictured moving away. Maybe he and Miranda would have a kid by now, and uprooting a family to try his hand in Nashville or another bigger city wouldn't have even come to mind.

And he's honestly not sure if they'd still be happy together this far down the line. They'd broken up a couple of times before getting engaged, their hard-headedness and tempers mixing in an incompatible way.

With hindsight and space, he can see that they were never really suited for each other to begin with. And now — he's a totally different person now.

When he looks back at his old self, before he left Ada, he doesn't even recognize who he used to be.

"Getting married would have been a mistake, and I think we're lucky it never happened," he says, quietly. "I still regret how everything went down, but... I think the silver lining is you and I are both where we're supposed to be now. And it's not together."

He's not trying to get back at her with those words. No matter how much her leaving hurt him, he's not speaking out of revenge or bitterness. Just honesty.

Miranda nods, finishing her drink. She gingerly steps down from the bar stool, and he can tell she’s in a sudden hurry to get away from him now that she’s got her answer. 

"I have to go meet my friends for dinner now," she says, grabbing her clutch off the bartop. "I'm glad to see you're doing okay, really. I... I guess I'll get going."

Blake says a soft goodbye, but he doesn't turn to look at her as she walks away.

* * *

Gwen is already at her desk when Blake gets to work the next morning, typing away furiously at her computer. He looks at her with a small smile, wondering what she's working so hard on so early. She stops abruptly when she sees him, her hands moving to clasp together in her lap.

"Hi," she says, appearing nervous. "How are you?"

He knows what she means — how is he after talking to Miranda? Gwen knew he was going to return Miranda's call, but she has no idea that he actually went and saw his ex-fiancée in person.

"I'm good," he says.

He can hear her stand once his back is to her, her heels clicking on the floor as she follows him into his office. Somehow he knew she wasn't going to let him off that easily.

"What did she say?" Gwen asks. "Why did she call you?"

Blake looks at the worry in her face, the concern, and while he doesn't really want to talk about Miranda — he never wants to drag Gwen into the mire that is his former life — he knows she only asks because she cares.

And as the one person he's come to trust more than anyone else in this town, he can never refrain from turning to her for very long.

"She was here, in the city, for her bachelorette party," he says, watching Gwen's eyes widen. "She's getting married, and I guess she felt the need to check in with me before she finally takes a walk down the aisle."

Gwen sits down then, clearly more worried than before. "Are you okay? I mean, did seeing her and hearing that upset you?"

Blake shakes his head, chuckling lightly. "No, on the contrary... I don't feel anything, really. I don't wish her ill, but I don't want her back, either. I thought for a long time I'd take her back if she'd have me, but the past year or so… and especially the last six months, I've realized that as much as I wasn't what she needed, she wasn't what I needed either."

He doesn't know if Gwen picks up on the "six months" reference — that he's talking about meeting her.

That she showed him what he really wants in a partner.

He almost hopes she doesn't, that she doesn't ask him to explain himself and what he means.

"I’m moving into my new apartment this weekend," she says unexpectedly, which catches him by surprise. He feels his heart rate increase just a little, and he has to fight to keep a smile off his face.

"Really?"

"It’s official," she says. "It's a little closer to downtown, so... I might start beating you here even more often than usual."

He cracks a smile at that, allowing his face to display some of the happiness he feels at hearing that Gwen is finally, officially free from that guy.

"Good for you," he says sincerely.

"I was really scared to do this, but it feels really good now that I’m making it happen,” she says. “And it’s not a moment too soon, because Gavin’s been trying to reach me again. He won’t stop texting and calling…” she trails off, rolling her eyes.

Blake feels his throat tighten. He hopes her ex will give it up soon enough.

Gwen continues on, running her eyes over his face. “Taking this fresh start and going out on my own… you kind of inspired me, you know? Sometimes the most difficult changes end up being the best.”

She gazes at him with such an admiring look on her face that he wants to turn away.

He doesn't know what he did to deserve the affection of this woman, but it's getting harder every day to keep himself from showing her how much he feels in return.

Seeing Miranda again has just re-emphasized to him everything that is rare about Gwen. She is a once in a lifetime kind of person. 

And for some reason, she wants him. 

Is he really willing to let her go? 

He finds himself exhaling audibly, the pressure building in his chest from the heaviness of her gaze.

It was clear to him early on, probably her first or second day of working there, that she was actually a lot like him. He saw in her someone who, like him, was far away from home and struggling a little with feeling adrift in the world.

But she dug her heels in, made good on her promise to hit the ground running, and never even flinched at the responsibilities heaped upon her.

And then she'd started caring about him, openly, visibly, to where he didn't have to guess whether she did.

If she was a little less magnetic, maybe he'd have been able to keep her at arm's length. But little by little, she got him to let her in.

He cares about her, her well-being, her future. He's not sure what to do, when the two things he wants the most — to be with her and to keep himself from hindering her from her full potential — seem to contradict each other.

He sighs, breaking their gaze. He has to force himself to be strong, to keep her from keying into his train of thought.

If she asks him how he feels now, he won’t be able to lie to her.

“Thanks for checking on me,” he says. “I’m good.”

Gwen bites her lip, a glum look on her face now at his indirect dismissal.

"Well, I'd better make some phone calls, so I'll... let you know if anything else comes up," she replies.

He watches her leave, wishing he could tell her to be patient with him, to wait for him.

He wishes he could tell her that he can give her everything she wants from him.

If only she knew how close he is to just giving in.


	15. Chapter 15

Gwen wakes up on the first weekday morning in her new apartment, feeling the refreshment of an untethered beginning.

The place is a little smaller than what she and Gavin shared, but the size is cozy rather than confining. It even has a small balcony, where she’s managed to fit a chair and side table for morning coffee sunrise watches.

She’d spent the weekend picking up random household items she needed, then last night she’d gone back to the old apartment to get the rest of her stuff, at a time when she knew Gavin usually worked at the bar.

Just in case, she’d made sure his car was nowhere to be found in the parking lot, then used the key she still had in her possession to quickly pack up the rest of her belongings. She’d left him the furniture, lamps, and stuff she either didn’t need or could easily replace, feeling guilty for taking anything from him at all when she was the one who was voluntarily leaving.

After she was done moving out, she’d put her key in an envelope and stuffed it in his mailbox, along with a check for some money to help him get through the next month or so.

Even though she knew it was cowardly to sneak in and get her stuff without having to see him one final time, she just didn’t know if she could handle another confrontation with him about why they were ending.

All of his begging to talk to her recently just increased her desire to _not_ see him again. She hoped her unceremonious exit from the apartment would be his final message that she was really done.

She’d rather their relationship, everything they shared, officially end with a whimper, not a bang.

* * *

She's almost to the parking lot at the end of the workday when she hears him shouting her name from behind her. 

She turns, but before she can react or say anything, he’s right there in front of her, eyes ablaze.

“You just let me come home to a half-empty apartment without a word? You knew I wanted to talk to you again,” Gavin seethes. His fury surprises her, makes her feel dizzy.

She didn’t think he cared this much, but here he is, glaring right in her face. She never in a million years would have expected this reaction.

“What are you doing here?" she asks, trying to back away from him. In the midst of her racing thoughts, she's wondering how fast she can get to her car without him stopping her or getting in her way. 

“I thought we’d get to talk again before you were gone for good, but then I come home in the middle of the night and find all your stuff gone," he continues, his voice still raised. "How did you think that was going to make me feel? After you’ve ignored me for the last three weeks?”

She realizes he really believed that they were going to reunite. When she refused to answer his text messages, he held on to hope anyway because most of her belongings were still at his place. He thought if he got her face-to-face, he’d be able to convince her to come back to him.

She tries to calm him with a reassurance that he’s going to be okay without her.

“I left you a check to pay next month’s rent,” she says, shrinking back further. “You just need to find a roommate to stay with you and you’ll be fine.”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me!” he exclaims. He moves closer to her, about to say something else, when another voice, equally as angry as Gavin’s but a lot more welcome to hear, booms from down the sidewalk. 

“What the hell is going on?”

In just a few quick strides, Blake is suddenly in front of her, yanking Gavin away by the arm.

“Get the fuck out of here,” Blake growls at him.

Gavin shrugs violently, trying to get out of Blake’s grip, but his effort is futile. Blake is taller and stronger, and Gavin has no chance. 

“Let go of me,” Gavin says, his face red. 

Gwen holds up her trembling hands and tries to plead with Gavin in her words and facial expression.

“Please Gavin, you need to go before you make things worse for yourself,” she says. “Just let me go and move on. I’m begging you.”

Gavin stares at her, consternation still on his face, but his shoulders sag.

Blake gives Gwen a meaningful look, then lets go of Gavin’s arm. “Fucking leave."

“This isn’t over,” Gavin says to Gwen, more quiet now.

“Yes, it is,” Blake asserts.

Blake moves and stands in front of Gwen as they watch Gavin stumble back down the sidewalk, veering off at the corner of the street. Once Gavin is out of sight, Blake takes her into his arms. 

“He didn't touch you, did he?” Blake asks.

She shakes her head, the shock of the situation wearing off enough to allow tears to spring to her eyes.

“He just scared me, that’s all,” she says, burying her face against his chest. “Thank you." She feels his arms tighten around her, and she stands up on her tip-toes to place a soft kiss on his neck. It’s so light, she thinks Blake probably doesn’t even feel it. But she just can’t help herself.

“What happened?” 

“He must have been waiting for me to come out of the building,” she says, her head still swimming. "I finished moving out my stuff last night, and he's apparently really upset." 

Blake shakes his head, fuming. “I’m going to call our security company and make sure they keep an eye out for him for the rest of the week. If he comes back here, I'm calling the police."

Gwen tries to take a few deep breaths, in and out, to calm herself as they walk to the parking lot together. 

She's never been scared of Gavin hurting her physically, but now she can't stop her heart from racing. She really wasn't sure what he was going to do. 

"Are you headed straight home?" Blake asks gently. 

“Yeah,” she says. “I'm still unpacking and I was going to put together my cheap Target coffee table tonight too, I guess. It will be a good distraction… keep me from looking out the window every five minutes trying to see if he’s followed me home or something.”

Blake looks unhappy at that thought.

He glances up at the sky, looking like his mind is turning over an idea. Finally, he looks at her with a serious expression on his face.

“Would it make you feel better if someone kept you company for a little while tonight?” he asks. “Just to make sure you're not alone if he comes around again?” 

She stares back at him, wondering if he’s offering what she thinks he’s offering.

“I’ve put together a lot of cheap furniture in my day…” he trails off, his eyes meeting hers. “I could help you finish unpacking.”

Her heart starts pounding, and she’s almost afraid to agree too quickly, afraid he’ll rescind this suggestion when he inevitably starts to feel guilty about them overstepping their self-imposed boundaries again.

“Are you comfortable with that? I mean…”

She doesn’t _want_ to do anything to discourage this idea, but she doesn’t want him to feel forced to do something he doesn’t think is appropriate either.

She considers the fact that he could have simply advised her to ask someone else to escort her home, but instead he has volunteered himself.

He’s always transforming into her knight in shining armor. From the very beginning when he insisted on changing her tire, right up to today — he can’t help but be there for her. To protect her in some way.

“I am if you are,” he says in reply, and so she nods.

“That would be really sweet of you, actually, and help me feel better about going home,” she says. “Thank you.”

Blake nods, taking his car keys out of his pocket.

"I'll just be right behind you." 

* * *

Gwen pulls into the designated parking space for her apartment, while Blake parks across from her in a visitor’s spot. She looks around but doesn’t see Gavin or his car anywhere. At the very least, she’s safe to get into her apartment and lock the door without worrying about him getting to her for another confrontation.

She waits for Blake to meet her by the stairwell leading up to her apartment, and he does so with an apprehensive look on his face. She wonders if he's going to change his mind, and she can almost visualize the mental battle he's fighting right now. He knows as well as she does that him coming inside will possibly be too much temptation for either one of them to stand. 

So when Blake nods and motions for her to lead the way, her pulse races and she says a silent prayer of thanks to the man upstairs. They walk up the outdoor steps to her second-floor apartment, and he waits behind her as she opens the door.

“Like I said, I’m still unpacking, so it’s a total mess in here,” she apologizes as they walk inside. “Thankfully the apartment came already furnished with a bed and couches, so I didn’t have to worry about buying new furniture besides the coffee table, television stand, and I got a used kitchen table and chairs from a thrift store on Saturday. I let Gavin keep all our old stuff.”

She knows she’s rambling, trying to keep them from encountering an awkward silence.

But Blake doesn’t seem to mind. He walks around quietly, looking at some framed pictures she has on an end table in the living room, shots of her and Jen, her and her family, her and some college friends.

“Do you want a beer or…” Gwen opens her pantry to see what she has managed to unpack so far. “I have a bottle of red wine and a half-empty bottle of tequila.”

She looks back at Blake sheepishly. “Sorry for the lame selection.”

Blake smiles. “I’ll just have some water, tap is fine.”

Gwen puts some ice in a cup and gets him water, while she pours herself a glass of wine. She needs it after what happened just now. The whole thing still feels surreal.

She knew Gavin would likely be irritated by her ignoring his messages, but she never thought that her moving out without giving him warning would send him over the edge like that, to where he’d come confront her in person.

When is he going to accept that they’re over?

She surreptitiously goes to her window that overlooks the parking lot, peeking out to make sure he’s not lurking somewhere out there.

She turns back around to find Blake laying down the box containing her coffee table pieces on the floor. He cuts it open and spreads out all of the instructions, parts, and tools in organized piles.

Gwen sits on the floor by him to help, and they tag team putting together the table, finishing it in less than twenty minutes.

“Yay,” she says, looking at it with a pleased feeling after they move it in front of her couch. “Now I have somewhere to put my drinks.”

He smiles at her and walks to the other side of the living room, where he sees her guitar laying on the floor in its open case. 

“I didn’t know you play,” he says, picking up the instrument.

“Barely,” she admits. “I know a few chords, always mean to learn more, get better. One day, you know?”

They go to sit on the couch, and Blake brings the guitar with him.

“Are you still writing songs lately?” he asks.

Gwen nods shyly, pleased that he remembers that tidbit about herself that she told him so long ago, when they first met.

“Just lyrics here and there,” she says. “Sometimes I can think of a melody, sometimes it’s not that easy. But I was working on something recently, actually, thinking about my breakup with Gavin.”

She pauses, taking a sip of her wine for courage. “Would you like to read them?”

Blake stares at her for a second, the warmth in his eyes disarming her. “I’d love to.”

Gwen stands on shaky legs and retreats to her bedroom, grabbing her notebook out of her nightstand drawer. She flips to the latest page and folds the notebook over, handing it to him. She sits quietly as he reads the words she’d penned while thinking about how she and Gavin just aren’t what each other needs.

_I can’t be your wise man_

_And I can’t be your saint_

_No, I can’t be your prophet_

_Or your medicine man_

_And I can’t be your answer_

_And I can’t be your friend_

_And I can’t be your lover_

_Or your medicine man_

Blake stares at the page for a few minutes while Gwen sits nervously beside him, waiting to hear what he thinks. But instead of speaking, he picks the guitar back up and starts to strum softly, lightly singing the words on the page along with the sounds of the guitar.

Gwen looks at him in amazement, hardly able to form words. “You can come up with a melody for a song, just like that?” she asks, astounded. 

Just hearing her lyrics coming out of him like that, set to such a beautiful tune, is enough to make her want to weep.

“I can when I’m inspired,” he says, looking into her eyes. She stares back at him until he averts his gaze, looking back down at the notebook.

“May I?” he asks.

Even though the notebook contains some of her most personal feelings, she nods, her trust in him at an all-time high. She watches as he flips through the pages, studying the poems and haikus and rhymes she’s only known how to express in writing, unable to convey aloud.

He stops on a page that contains a verse she wrote about him recently, hard to miss because she wrote it with a bold Sharpie marker.

“Oh,” she says quietly.

_You're a sapphire, you're a rolling stone_

_You're a sparkle in a deep black hole_

_You're like moon shine, when the curtains close_

_You're my answer, one that no one knows_

He looks at her, his face questioning. She knows he’s wondering whether these lines are about him.

She nods her confirmation, moving in closer. He puts the guitar gently on the ground and turns to her.

Without a word, he moves forward, taking her face in his hands and kissing her roughly.

In the back of her mind, she thinks she better enjoy this while she can before he pulls away from her. But instead of stopping or moving away, he brings her even closer to him as his hands move to her back, sliding down to her waist and gripping her sides.

They kiss long and hard, all of their previous guilt and caution forgotten — or maybe purposely ignored — all for the sake of a more powerful feeling.

“I just can’t leave you alone,” Blake whispers in a strangled voice, taking her face in his hands again as he pulls back just slightly.

She looks at him desperately.

“I love you,” she confesses brokenly, shocked at her own candor. She didn’t know those words were going to come out of her mouth until they were already out.

He gazes at her for a quiet moment, and she knows if he rejects her now, she will never be able to face him again.

Instead, he moves forward, pressing his face against her neck for a second before he pulls back to look at her with fiery eyes. “I love you, too,” he finally whispers, kissing her again.

They make out for several heated minutes as she slides a leg over to straddle him, her hands making their way down his shirt as she pulls his tie loose, begins undoing his buttons. She stands and pulls him up with her, leading him to her bedroom just a few feet away.

Somewhere as she is pushing his shirt off of him, reaching for his belt buckle, he manages to whisper, “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” she replies quickly, an answer that is rewarded with his fingers working to unzip her dress. He looks down at her, slowly sliding the straps off her shoulders and tugging the dress off of her until it falls and pools on the floor.

As he begins kissing her neck, she realizes she needs the same confirmation from him. She doesn’t want to see regret in his eyes tomorrow.

“Are _you_ sure?” she asks, even as he works on undoing her bra clasp.

He kisses her lips again, gently taking her down on the bed, moving on top of her.

“Yes,” he says, kissing her forehead.

“Yes,” he says again, kissing her breasts.

She closes her eyes, moving her hands over her head on the pillow as he works his way down her body. “You are so beautiful,” she hears him murmur against her skin.

And as a smile comes to her face, she thinks about how everything she’s ever gone through in her entire life has led her straight to him. 


	16. Chapter 16

She lays breathless in his arms, her head against his chest, allowing only the whirring of the ceiling fan and the sound of his heartbeat to fill the silence between them.

Both anticipation and trepidation raid her mind as she waits and wonders what he is going to say now that they have had sex. 

Blake is quiet for a few minutes, his hand languidly stroking through her hair. He lifts his hand and slowly trails his finger down the side of her jaw.

“I didn't even know where you came from,” he finally says, his voice almost at a whisper. “But I knew right away you were going to be more than I bargained for.”

She shifts a little, trying to angle her head so that she can see his face. He is staring up at the ceiling, his mouth curled up in a resigned smile.

“I tried to push down what I felt about you, but you made it difficult. And no matter how hard I tried to keep you at a distance, you just kept hanging in there, challenging me, making me face everything I was feeling.”

What had happened to them, the way they found each other, the feelings that had creeped up on them without warning — it was something neither of them had looked for or expected. And now here they are.

“Sorry,” she whispers back, not actually sorry. She’s not sure he hears her.

“I tried to stop thinking about you all the time,” he continues. “I told myself it was wrong, and that I had to get over it. I didn’t want to care about you the way I do, as much as I do. But I couldn’t stop.”

She is tempted to cut in and express her own feelings of love, but she decides to wait, see if there’s anything more he needs to get off his chest. After a brief pause, he continues.

“My head keeps telling me that we can’t be together, and that I'm not going to be good for you,” he whispers. “But I just can’t… I can’t keep away from you. I don’t know how to do it.”

She props herself up on his chest so that she can look him in the eyes, hoping even in the dark he can see the sincerity on her face.

“It drives me crazy that you don’t see yourself the way I see you… kind, sweet, gentle, and most of all, deserving of love,” she says, tracing her finger in circles over his skin. “I thought at first that I just wanted to be your friend and make sure you were happy… but then I realized I wanted you to be happy because I care so much about you. I wanted you to be happy with _me_.”

He looks at her tenderly, leaning forward to kiss her forehead.

“Well, I am,” he says. “I look forward to seeing you every day. You’ve made me smile more in the last few months than I think I’ve smiled in the last few years combined.”

That statement overwhelms her, knowing everything she does. She maneuvers her face to his, kissing him as she moves on top of his body, dragging her lips down to his neck and his chest.

There are still a lot of questions in her mind — namely what’s going to happen after tonight.

But she quiets them in favor of enjoying what they have right this moment, and in the love they clearly feel for each other.

* * *

Morning light streams through the slanted blinds of her bedroom, the glare of the sun accompanied with the incessant chirping of a bird right outside her window.

Gwen rolls over in bed, slowly opening her eyes. Blake is still asleep next to her, his handsome face relaxed in peaceful slumber.

She studies the contours of his jaw, his long eyelashes, the stubble on his chin, the curl resting on his forehead.

She wants to reach out and touch all of it, but she's hesitant to wake him up just yet.

Laying back on her pillow, she thinks on the events of last night, dwelling on every moment as she recounts them in her head. 

The courage it took to show him her lyrics. How he wrote a melody for one of her songs, just like that.

The way he looked at her when he said he loved her back.

The way his tongue explored the expanse of her skin before he buried his face between her thighs and brought her more pleasure than she's probably ever experienced in her life.

How he worshipped her body as they made love, making sure to caress every part of her that he could reach, even as he was inside of her.

He stirs a little, and she turns her head to look at him. His eyes flutter open softly, and she gives him a small, hesitant smile.

He reaches out an arm and pulls her closer, hugging her to him. "Good morning," he says, his voice scratchy.

"Hi," she says. "Sleep okay?"

She can feel him nodding, his chin above her head. Before they can get too comfortable, her phone alarm sounds, the one set to the same time daily so that she can get up to get ready for work.

She pulls away from him reluctantly to silence the noise. "Time to get up," she says lowly, staring down at the phone.

Blake moves back closer to her and tips up her chin with his finger, bringing her eyes back to his.

She searches his face for a sign of regret, but she doesn't find one. He seems to be trying to figure out something in her gaze as well. 

"Are you okay?" he asks. 

"Yeah, it's just..." she trails off, wondering if this is a good time to get into her real concerns. But now that they have to return to work and face each other there, she doesn't want to go into it still blind to whatever it is that's really going on in his head. 

"I was just wondering... what made you change your mind?" she asks. "Not that long ago you were adamant that this couldn't happen. And then..."

Blake sighs. "I didn't change my mind, really. I still think everything I said before is true.”

He looks up at the ceiling, biting his lip. "But I don't think I've ever wanted anything as much as I want you. I guess I'm being selfish.”

Gwen frowns. “I'm the selfish one here because you're the one who has the most to lose... technically.”

What she doesn't say is she's worried she has the most to lose emotionally. Because she's still not sure that he's not going to turn away from her again. 

He moves closer to her, grasping her arm gently. "I meant everything I said last night," he says, as if he can read her mind. 

"So did I."

They're in love. What else matters?

She knows it's not that simple. What are they going to do? How can they get dressed and go to the office and pretend nothing changed between them? That's what they'll have to do, right?

He trails his finger down her arm and back up again. She sees vulnerability in his eyes when he speaks next.

"If you do decide that you think this shouldn't have happened, I promise..." he says, pausing. "I will be completely understanding. You don't have to worry. You're not obligated to anything beyond this moment."

She knows what he's trying to say. It's the whole reason he was against this in the first place — he's her authority at work, which could make for a messy situation if things go awry between them personally. He's saying that if she changes her mind about him, it won't affect her job. He won't make things difficult for her.

He didn't need to tell her that, though. Even if there was a chance she'd regret what happened, which there isn't, she knows he'd never in a million years hold it against her professionally.

"I know that," she assures him. "But I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

Blake leaves shortly after their brief conversation, headed back to his place to quickly change into different clothes for work.

Gwen takes a fast shower and gets dressed, driving to the theatre with a mixture of nerves and excitement.

When he walks past her desk to his office, they exchange a glance so electric that it makes her wonder how in the world they’re going to be able to hide what’s going on between them for any significant period of time.

Majestic has a big Friday show coming up in a few days, so Gwen is able to distract herself throughout the morning by wrapping up some details and communicating with other departments to ensure nothing else needs to be scheduled.

“How’s the new place?” Laney asks, coming over to her desk shortly before lunchtime. “You still unpacking?”

“Yeah, I got a lot done already but it’s a process,” Gwen laughs. “You’ll have to come over for drinks one night when I get everything set up the way I want it.”

“For sure,” Laney replies. “I’m so excited for you.”

She leans forward with a sparkle in her eye. “I wanted to talk to you about something else, too.”

Gwen is intrigued. “Sure, what about?”

“Well, I know you might think it’s too soon to start dating again, but if you’re open to testing the waters _at all_ , Jay has this friend that I think might be perfect for you,” Laney says excitedly.

Gwen's stomach drops. “Oh, I don’t know about that,” she says nervously.

They both turn and look when Blake opens his office door, stepping out probably on his way to go grab something for lunch.

Laney continues on, oblivious to Gwen’s growing discomfort.

“His name is Christopher. He’s an assistant professor at Vanderbilt with Jay, he’s 30, really handsome, and he’s from California too,” Laney says. “I think you guys would be so cute together. Doesn’t he sound great?”

From behind Laney, Blake stops and catches her eye, and Gwen tries to keep a straight face.

“I appreciate you thinking of me, Laney, but I’m really not into blind dates,” Gwen says.

“Well, what if you met him casually ahead of time, not a date... maybe we could have a big dinner at my place with a bunch of people, and you two would both just happen to be there? No strings attached.”

Laney turns to Blake and gives him a cajoling smile. “Blake, you would come to our dinner, right?”

With Laney’s back to her, Gwen’s eyes widen at him, and he raises his eyebrows.

“Uh…”

“What about tomorrow night, seven o’clock? Oh, this would be so much fun. You both in?” Laney asks.

“I’m pretty busy—”

“I really don’t think—”

They both stop talking abruptly when they realize they are trying to get out their excuses at the same time.

Laney looks from Gwen to Blake and back again, scrunching up her face. “You guys are both doing something else tomorrow night? A Wednesday? What?”

Gwen sighs heavily. “No, I’m not doing anything.”

“Okay, then — my place? Dinner? Blake?”

Gwen pleads with him via her eyes over Laney’s shoulder.

He pats Laney on the back. “Okay, I’ll come.”

“Great!” she exclaims, clapping her hands excitedly. “I’ll go to the store after work and figure out what I’m going to make. I promise you won’t regret this.” She gives Gwen a meaningful smile.

After Laney walks off, Gwen looks at Blake, feeling panicked.

“She’s trying to set me up on a date with some guy,” Gwen says, rolling her eyes. “I can’t believe this.”

Blake looks at her sympathetically. “And I get to watch it.”

Gwen shakes her head, lowering her voice. “We go, we eat, I'm tired and have to leave, you think of an excuse and follow me back to my place ten minutes later. Okay?”

Blake smiles down at her. “Sounds like a plan.”

* * *

An afternoon conference call has Gwen in Blake's office with the door closed, sitting across the desk from him as they try to concentrate on the conversation going on during the meeting. 

It's proving to be very difficult. Less than twelve hours ago they were still naked in bed together. Now he's six feet away from her, doing this really sexy thing he does sometimes where he leans back in his chair with one arm slung behind his head.

And somehow she has to force herself to stare at her laptop and not at him. The voice on the conference call drones on tauntingly.

She indulges in her own weakness and looks above her screen to study him. After just a moment he glances over and catches her, meeting her eyes and staring back at her with a deep gaze. She inadvertently licks her lips and shakes her leg restlessly.

When the meeting finally ends, Gwen closes her laptop and stands up reluctantly.

"Guess I'll go back to my desk." 

Blake stands too, coming quickly around the desk to face her. "I just..." he looks down at her.

"You just what?" she asks, a little smile on her face as she turns her head to the side.

"I just want to kiss you." 

"Probably shouldn't," she says teasingly. 

"Probably not," he agrees as he moves closer to her. 

He leans down and touches his lips to hers softly, and she brings her hand up to grip his neck. 

One small kiss just isn't enough, though, and she opens her mouth to let his tongue slide against hers. 

He kisses her like no one has ever kissed her. Gavin was always a little sloppy, so focused on taking what he wanted that he never quite established a rhythm that aligned with how she wanted to be kissed.

But Blake. His kisses are a mixture of greedy and giving, never taking too much without making sure to yield and let her take the lead, an equal and in-sync melding of their mouths and tongues that leaves her feeling lightheaded.

Kissing him standing up is dangerous. 

They are still kissing a minute later when a knock on the door makes her jump. Blake is flushed, his mouth smeared with her lip gloss. She quickly reaches up and wipes it off of him with her bare hand, then does the same for herself. 

"Come in," Blake says in a hoarse voice, sitting back down at his desk as if everything is normal. 

Gwen hurries to the door and waits as Roger sticks his head inside.

"Are y'all still on that call?" he asks. 

Gwen shakes her head no and gives him a small smile, quickly slipping out of the door before he can get a good look at her. She knows the guilt must be written all over her face. 

A few minutes later, Roger exits Blake's office, and Gwen's desk phone rings. 

"Hey," she says quietly.

"I guess we'd better not do that here," Blake says over the phone. "We have to be really careful. That was my fault." 

Gwen shakes her head at that last part, even though he can't see her. "You're right," she replies. "I understand." 

She feels bad for being so weak on their very first day of embarking on whatever this is. If there’s any chance they get through this unscathed, they’re going to have to learn how to behave.

But that will be easier said than done.

* * *

“How could you break up with Gavin and move into a whole new apartment and not tell us about any of this?”

Gwen’s mom is clearly upset on the other end of the line, having just been apprised of the major changes in her life over the past month. Well, about all except one involving a certain boss, still Gwen’s biggest secret.

“I didn’t want you to worry,” Gwen says, feeling guilty. “I promise, I’m doing really well. I’m all moved in, and I’m going to put in one of those little security cameras above my door.”

She doesn’t tell her mom about the incident with Gavin outside her work that inspired her to do this. There shouldn’t be any way he would find out where she lives, but regardless, it seems like a smart and sensible thing to do since she lives alone.

“I just hate thinking about you all the way out there by yourself,” her mom frets.

Gwen sighs. She may be almost 28 years old, but her parents still see her as their baby. Maybe if she had moved away from home a lot younger, by now they’d see her as the grown woman she is. But since she only abandoned the comfort of living near family later in her adulthood, they seem to be stunted in their view of her.

“I’m a big girl, Mom,” she says. “And I have friends here and a great job, and it’s a great city. I’d love for you guys to come visit me soon, actually. You can see for yourself.”

“Maybe we will come and visit,” her mom says. “To see where you live and make sure it all looks okay.”

“You are more than welcome to come any time, and I’ll send you some pictures of my apartment,” Gwen says. “I have to go, but don’t worry, okay? I love you.”

She wishes she could tell her mom that she’s not really alone — that she has Blake, who has been taking care of her in various ways since she first met him.

But that’s another thing her mom would probably frown upon.

Gwen can already hear what she’d say: _You’re in a relationship with your boss? What are you thinking? This isn’t going to end well. You’re just going to get hurt._

Those are words she’s already got buried in the depths of her mind.

She doesn’t need to hear them from someone else.


	17. Chapter 17

Gwen is nervously approaching Laney and Jay’s door for their Wednesday night dinner party when she hears quickening footsteps behind her.

“Hey,” Blake says catching up to her. They exchange sheepish, nervous smiles.

This is going to be so awkward, having dinner with the guy she’s secretly in love with who happens to be her boss, while simultaneously trying to politely disentangle herself from the attempted blind date her friends are setting up for her.

How is this her life all of a sudden?

“Ready for this?” Blake asks.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” she says, pasting on a smile. “Remember our plan? Are you going to come over after this?”

They’d managed to spend the previous evening away from each other, but she’s already eager to be with him alone again.

Blake lips curl upwards. “Yep.”

“Good.” Impulsively she stands on her tip-toes and gives him a brief kiss before turning and knocking on the door.

“Oh, Blake and Gwen got here at the same time!” a happy Laney says when she finds them standing there. “Come on in.”

They are the first guests to arrive, and Jay offers Blake a beer while Gwen follows Laney to the kitchen and accepts a glass of wine. 

She stands and watches as the dinner hostess pulls a dish out of the oven, wondering how much she needs to dread the rest of this evening.

“So did you also tell this Christopher guy that you’re trying to set him up with me? Does he know what this dinner is really about?”

Laney looks up at her guiltily.

“Laney!” Gwen sighs, feeling her stomach churn. She has to figure out how to signal to this guy that she’s not available despite what Laney and Jay have tried to force on them.

“I’m sorry, Gwen,” Laney says apologetically. “I was thinking about it earlier, and I realized it was pretty insensitive of me to assume you’d be ready for this when you and your boyfriend of like, three years, just ended things. I just don’t want to see you run off to L.A., so I was thinking if you met someone new, there might be a better chance of you staying here longer.”

That sentiment does help Gwen understand Laney’s pushiness a little better — she just doesn’t want her friend to give up on Nashville so soon. And Gwen is once again filled with guilt that she’s keeping such a big secret from everyone.

“Well, I appreciate that you want me around so much,” Gwen smiles at her. “I promise I’ve got no plans to go anywhere.”

Gwen and Laney return to the living room, and Gwen’s eyes are drawn back to Blake standing there, talking to Jay.

They meet eyes, and she wonders how they are ever going to hide the chemistry between them in such a small group environment. 

She has to tear her gaze from him before she gives them away, looking up instead at a painting on the wall.

“Where did this come from?” she asks, her voice high-pitched, as she points at the piece of art. Laney gives her a funny look.

“Didn’t you notice it during the three weeks you stayed with us?” she laughs. “Jay’s mom painted that for us.”

“Oh… yeah, I guess I just forgot,” Gwen says lamely. She sees Blake hiding a smirk out of the corner of her eye.

“Blake and I were just talking about Laney’s new matchmaking aspirations,” Jay says.

Gwen looks sideways at Blake. “Were you now?”

“Oh, Jay acts like he’s not in on it too,” Laney laughs. “Chris just got out of a relationship a few months ago, but I think he’s ready to start looking again. Jay is such a good friend to him.”

She looks over at Blake. “Were you interested in being my next victim? Because actually, the girl who teaches my 5 a.m. spin classes is sweet and super hot, and I’m pretty sure she’s single.”

Gwen laughs nervously, her stomach turning. “I think you need to keep your day job, Laney,” she says quickly.

Laney giggles, and Blake just shakes his head.

“Let me know if you want the hookup, Blake, I’m here for you,” she says. 

The doorbell starts to ring as the rest of their guests arrive — Roger and his wife, another guy from work named Matt, one of Jay’s coworkers, Lucas.

Finally, just when she’s starting to hope he’s going to be a no-show, the last to arrive is Christopher. He’s kind of got a Clark Kent vibe going on, with dark hair, glasses, a strong jaw, and rumpled button-down shirt befitting a young college professor. When Laney introduces them, Gwen gives him a polite smile and small wave.

They take their places around the dinner table, Laney not so sneakily making sure Gwen and Christopher are seated beside each other.

“Gwen, I saved you a place next to me,” Laney says with a little smile, pointing at the empty chair in between her setting and Christopher’s. Gwen takes the seat, feeling her face heat up. It all feels so embarrassing.

Though Christopher is next to her, Blake is across from her, which creates the task of trying to keep her eyes away from him most of the time. It’s one she quickly finds herself failing to do.

“You haven’t been in Nashville very long, right?” Christopher asks, trying to make conversation.

“Hmm, it’s been about six months now, I guess,” she says. “It’s gone by fast. Feels longer than that, really.”

Chris nods. “How do you like the city so far?”

Gwen glances at Blake, who’s getting his ear talked off by Roger beside him. She keeps her eyes on him briefly as she answers the question. “I really like it. Especially lately.”

Blake glances up and sees her looking at him, and he winks at her quickly before turning away.

Feeling pressure to be polite, Gwen asks Christopher about himself. He says he’s been in Nashville for two years, but he’s from San Diego, which makes them both southern Californians.

“God, I miss it so much sometimes, do you?” he asks.

“Definitely,” she replies. “I do love it here, but it’s just not the same, you know?”

Chris nods his agreement. “Totally different pace of life and mindset, but it’s good. Any time I meet a fellow Californian here, though, I feel this immediate connection with them.” He smiles warmly at her, and she gives a small smile back. 

She asks Chris about his job, and he starts to ramble on about the classes he’s teaching this spring.

Out of the corner of her eye, Gwen can see that Blake is no longer talking to Roger. Instead, he’s staring down at his place setting. She wonders if he was listening to them just now.

“Blake’s a transplant, too,” she hears herself saying. Blake’s head shoots up, and he looks at her, surprised at her bringing him into their conversation.

Christopher looks over at him. “Oh yeah, where from?”

“Oklahoma.”

“Ah,” Christopher says.

Chris doesn’t ask any follow-up questions, and Blake doesn’t seem interested in offering up more detail, either.

An awkward silence falls between the three, and Gwen bites her lip.

“Are you a sports fan?” Chris asks, and Gwen realizes he’s looking at her, not at Blake.

“Oh, uh, not really,” she says.

“My family has season tickets to the Lakers,” he says. “Great seats. If we’re ever both back there at the same time and you’re interested…”

Gwen pauses. Is he asking her on a date — in the theoretical future when they’re thousands of miles from here?

She doesn’t know how to respond. Glancing over at Blake, she sees that he’s turned away from them again.

Frustrated, she just smiles tensely. “Sounds fun,” she says about the potential outing she knows will never happen.

After dinner, the group makes their way to the living room, and Gwen makes sure to sit in the armchair by herself. Laney brings out two platters of cheesecakes to choose from, along with a carafe of decaf coffee.

Casual conversation ensues among the entire group, but Gwen notices that Blake is particularly quiet. She tries to catch his eye, but he seems intent on looking elsewhere.

Gwen eats one slice of the cake, then declines Laney’s offer of more wine or coffee.

“I’m so beat,” she says, faking a yawn. “This was really nice, Laney, but I’ve got to get some sleep. Thank you so much.”

Laney’s face displays a little bit of disappointment, possibly at Gwen leaving so soon, but she quickly conceals it with a warm smile. “Thanks so much for coming.”

Gwen makes her way around the room to give hugs to her coworkers, leaving Blake for last.

As she reaches up to embrace him, she quickly whispers near his ear. “I’ll be waiting for you.”

She offers Christopher a polite handshake, then makes her hasty exit, hoping she’s not hurting his feelings.

Gwen’s concern that she might have been too obvious about her disinterest in Laney and Jay’s setup dissipates as she makes her way home, replaced instead with anticipation to spend some time touching the guy she really wants.

She has just enough time to freshen up and re-fix her hair and makeup before she hears a light knock at her door.

“Was everyone else still there when you left?” she asks as she lets Blake inside.

“No, thankfully Roger and Marilyn were ready to leave too, so I headed out at the same time as them.”

She breathes out a sigh of relief, glad it wouldn’t have been obvious that Blake was following her lead.

She takes him by the hand and brings him over to the couch, pushing him down by the chest. He quirks an eyebrow as he looks up at her, and she sits atop him with each knee on the side of his hips, kissing him softly.

“I thought you just wanted to watch TV or something,” he jokes as he runs his hands up her thighs, under her skirt, and she laughs lightly.

“Is that what you want to do?” she murmurs as she undoes his tie, unbuttons his shirt and begins kissing each new area of skin as its revealed by the work of her fingers.

Blake lolls his head back against the couch, closing his eyes. “No…”

“Good.”

They help each other out of their clothes, foregoing the bedroom to stay on the couch, Gwen remaining straddled over his lap.

“You can’t be real,” he whispers against her neck as she writhes on top of him, echoing something he said to her before their first kiss.

She pulls back and looks into his shining eyes, wondering how he can seem so amazed at her mere existence. He has her on some kind of pedestal, but she hopes he knows that she’s not made of glass.

“I love you,” she replies, capturing his mouth with hers.

* * *

Gwen presses her ear to Blake’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. It’s her new favorite thing to do.

Laying together with their bodies still entangled on the couch, she thinks back on the whole evening and can’t help but laugh.

“Something funny?” Blake asks, his voice bemused.

“Just thinking about how Laney would have a conniption if she saw us now,” Gwen says.

“Christopher probably would too,” Blake remarks wryly. She playfully smacks his shoulder.

Gwen props up on her elbow and looks down at him. “I don’t know how we’re going to keep this a secret for very long,” she says. “People are going to figure it out. Especially someone like Laney who knows us both so well.”

Blake nods. “I know.”

“So what do we do?”

“I don’t know.”

That’s the sad truth. They don’t know what to do, but they can’t stop the path they’re on now.

“I don’t want to get you in trouble,” she says, her voice uncertain. “I don’t want to be the reason anything bad happens to you.”

She’s willing to be the one to sacrifice if it means they can be together. She’s already started looking out for employment opportunities at other venues, thinking in the back of her mind that she needs to make a move.

She knows he doesn’t want to hear it, but she can find another job.

She can’t find another him.

He sweeps his hand through her hair, holding on to the side of her head. “Don’t worry about me.”

He’s told her that before, but she already knows it’s impossible not to. She cares about him too much. She sighs and tries to change the subject.

“I have to tell Laney tomorrow that it’s just not going to happen with Christopher, and hopefully that will be the end of it,” Gwen says, laying her head back on Blake’s chest. “He was nice, though.”

Blake is quiet for a moment, his finger lightly rubbing her arm. “Seemed like y’all had a lot in common.”

Gwen tries to crane her neck to look up at him. “Just because we’re from the same state? Yeah, us and millions and millions of other people.”

She chuckles a little, but Blake stares at the ceiling, seemingly thinking on something.

“No, it was more than that.”

Gwen shakes her head. She doesn’t like the solemn tone in his voice. “I’m not interested in him, Blake,” she says.

“But —”

“Stop,” she says quietly, sitting up. She doesn’t like the direction he’s trying to go with this. She takes the small throw blanket they’d covered themselves with and holds it over her chest.

“I guess I’m jealous,” Blake admits, running his hand through his hair. “If he wanted to ask you out he can do that, openly and freely, without breaking any rules, without having to keep you a secret. That’s what you deserve.”

“This is both our choice,” Gwen says, peering into his eyes. “I want this and I want you. However I can get you.”

They’ve literally only been together two days, and she can already feel him withdrawing, just slightly. 

Blake shakes his head. “I just… I think about the future. It’s how I’m wired. And I can’t see where we’re going, and that’s not a good feeling,” he says. “But I know I need to focus on the present. I was thinking earlier today that I have to just take this day by day, however long it lasts.”

Gwen feels her breath stutter at hearing him say that. _However long it lasts._

“I’m not here with you just for fun or to fuck around. I meant it when I said that I love you,” he continues. “And I want what’s best for you, even if that’s ultimately not me.”

She’s tired of hearing him say this to her, that he’s not good for her, or whatever it is he thinks.

“Let me decide what’s best for me,” she says. “That’s what I want from you. Let me decide. Okay?”

She wonders, too, if his fears aren’t just about protecting her — but if he’s trying to preemptively protect himself, too.

He’s lost a lot in the past, and he hasn’t had much else to lose since then.

Now that she’s in his life, he does.

_However long it lasts._

She tips his chin up with her hand, forcing him to look at her face.

“I’m not her,” she says softly. “I’m not going to leave you.”

He curls his lips inward before exhaling. He pulls her to him, gently guiding her so that they are laying down again with her spooned in his arms.

“Promise?” he asks quietly, his face nuzzling her hair. She almost can’t hear him.

Gwen rolls over so that she can look at him in the eyes.

“I promise.”


	18. Chapter 18

Gwen leans over Blake's shoulder looking at his computer screen, the side of her face dangerously close to his.

Alone together in his office with everyone else gone for the day, she can't be bothered to put more space between them; her guard is much lower than it usually is when other people are around.

They've been keeping their relationship a secret for two weeks now, each day at the office bringing a fresh obstacle course of avoiding telling looks and keeping their hands to themselves and pretending around everyone else that they're the same as they always were.

This exhausting daily charade often results in them releasing all of their tension at night in Gwen's apartment.

Tonight they're busy finalizing details for a big show coming up in a couple of weeks, but despite their rule to behave around each other at work, Gwen can feel her resistance weakening. She's tired, and what's the harm in being a little looser when no one else is watching?

From behind him she places her hands on his shoulders, squeezing a few times.

"Are you feeling tense?" she asks, raising her eyebrows at the tightness in his muscles.

Blake sighs and leans his head back. "A little."

"I can tell." She continues massaging him, moving her hands further down to his upper arms and then back up to his neck and then his scalp. He moans lowly, clearly enjoying the labor of her fingers.

"You've been working too hard," she murmurs, gently pushing him forward a little so she can have more access to his back.

"Yeah," he says quietly, "at a lot of things."

"Oh really? What else?"

"Acting like I don't want to touch you every time I see you," he replies, looking up at her. "It's a lot of work."

"Oh yeah?" She smiles amorously at him.

He reaches his hand up and grabs her arm, pulling her around the chair and down onto his lap. "Yeah."

She brings her mouth to his in an impassioned kiss, and he runs his hand up her stomach and over her breast, making heat flow through her entire body.

“We better not,” she murmurs even as she continues kissing him.

He either doesn’t hear her or doesn’t listen, fondling her with one hand while running the other through her hair.

“I can’t get enough of you,” he says, gazing at her in a lust-filled haze.

Maybe it’s the way he’s looking at her, maybe it’s because her mind isn’t functioning normally, but she lets her hand drift down to his erection, caressing him once over the cloth before unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants.

He intensifies their kisses as she strokes him, relishing in the way he practically purrs against her mouth.

She buries her face against his neck as he comes in her hand, feeling him angle his head down to gently bite her earlobe.

When he's finished, she leans back and looks at him with a small, guilty smile.

“Do you feel more relaxed now?”

* * *

Gwen tries not to answer her personal cell phone at work very often, but when she sees a Nashville area code calling her late one afternoon, she has a feeling it might be important.

"Can I speak with Gwen Stefani?" the voice on the other end of the line asks.

"This is Gwen."

"Hi Gwen, this is Dan Abraham with Ryman Hospitality, how are you doing?"

Gwen's pulse begins to race. Just last week she had submitted an application for an event coordinator job with Ryman, the group that oversees the Grand Ole Opry, Ryman Auditorium, and numerous other properties and endeavors. She hadn't really expected them to ever call her, though.

"I'm great," she says, recovering her voice.

"We'd like to see if we could have you come in for an interview at our main office. Would Friday morning work for you, around 9?"

Gwen quickly scribbles down the day and time. "Yes, sir, that sounds great. I'll be there."

She hangs up the phone, looking over at Blake's office. For some reason her first inclination isn't to run and tell him about the interview — mainly because she hasn't actually told him yet that she's applying for other jobs.

She doesn't know how he'll react, and she figures it might be better to wait and see if she actually gets the job before bringing this to his attention.

But working as an event coordinator — one of several — with one of the biggest entertainment groups in Nashville is no step down for sure.

It would mean an advance in her career, a raise in pay, and best of all, it would mean that she and Blake can be together without worry about jeopardizing his job.

This could be the answer to everything.

* * *

The Nashville Business Journal holds a special luncheon each year to celebrate its 40 Under 40 honorees following the publication of their magazine with each of the winners' profiles.

This year's luncheon is being held at the Omni Hotel downtown, and Blake is allowed to bring five people to sit at his table. Besides Gwen coming along, there's Laney, Roger, plus sound technician James and stage manager Tom.

Gwen hasn't gotten a chance to see Blake's profile in the magazine yet, but she knows they conducted an interview with him over the phone a couple of weeks ago, and she was the one to coordinate when their photographer could come and take a picture of Blake inside the theatre auditorium.

He'd grumbled to her afterward that the photographer couldn't just take one picture, but instead had to take a bunch, and she'd laughed at his surliness.

The bustling ballroom where the luncheon is being held features numerous tables covered in white tablecloths, while a podium and microphone up front will be used for the keynote speakers.

Gwen and Laney stick close together as they make their way around the room, saying polite hellos to anyone they have met before. For Gwen it's only a few people, and for Laney it is many.

When they find their table, a stack of the 40 Under 40 magazines are located in the center for them to peruse. Gwen quickly grabs one and flips through the pages until she finds Blake's profile.

"This looks really good," she says, snapping her head over to look at him.

For as much as he'd complained about having to have his picture taken, he looks rather happy in the final shot used for publication. He's standing with his hands in his pockets in the middle of their auditorium, the rows of maroon seats empty behind him and a spotlight shining down on him from above.

What she wants to say is that he looks really hot, but she'll have to save that compliment for when they're alone.

She and Laney decide to stay glued to their chairs at the table while the guys all get up and mill around to socialize some more.

Gwen reads through Blake's profile, smiling at some of his answers to the questions he was asked. He remains so humble in every way, refusing to accept any real compliment from the interviewer without deflecting it or crediting someone else that helped him in his career here.

After a few minutes she glances around to look for Blake, and she sees that he and Roger are having a conversation alone in a corner of the ballroom. Shortly thereafter, Blake walks away and is quickly approached by someone else trying to shake his hand. She doesn’t envy all of the attention he’ll be getting this afternoon, and she knows he won’t particularly enjoy it either, as much as he deserves it.

Servers begin coming around to place house salads in front of each seat, so the rest of their tablemates make their way back to sit down and begin eating.

Gwen tries to catch Blake's eye again, but he seems intent on staring at the empty podium up front.

"You did a really good job with the interview," she says to him. His eyes flit over to her, and he gives her a terse smile, then looks away.

Gwen frowns. There’s something missing in his eyes. Something is bothering him, but she's not sure what.

Her feelings are a little hurt at his cold reaction, and she doesn't attempt to talk to him again during the lunch. Instead, she eats slowly and tries to listen to what Laney is saying about her and Jay's upcoming belated honeymoon to Italy.

Once the lunch portion is over, a handful of speakers from the Nashville Business Journal and the chamber of commerce get up to make some short speeches about the importance of the leaders in their business community, the range of accomplishments of this year's honorees, and a bunch of other boring drivel that Gwen can barely pay attention to.

She chews on her fingernail, wondering why Blake is sitting across from her with a face of stone. It nags at her, causing her stomach to tie up in knots.

If she had any hopes to pull him aside and talk to him once the speakers are done and the luncheon is over, though, that's dashed when Blake is immediately approached by another 40 Under 40 honoree — who Gwen recognizes as one of Nashville's young, blonde, perky television news anchors, Mary Kay Allen.

"I loved your feature in the magazine," she says in her cute southern accent, shaking Blake's hand vigorously next to the Majestic table.

And while he had only been able to offer Gwen a brief acknowledgement for the same compliment, he gives Mary Kay a warm smile.

"Thank you," he says. "I really liked yours, too. I thought it was cool that you started out on the crime beat at the station. That must have been crazy work."

Gwen purposely tunes out the rest of their conversation, looking down at her hands and trying to push down her annoyance and her jealousy. Trying to ignore the desire to knock Mary Kay's head off.

But she can't help but overhear when Mary Kay says flirtatiously, "Your picture came out really great, too. Your eyes are so blue!"

Gwen stands up and looks down at Laney. "Want to go wait outside until these guys are done schmoozing?" she asks, her voice tight.

"Yeah girl, let's get outta here," Laney says. "It's freezing in here anyway."

As they walk to the exit at the other side of the ballroom, Gwen glances back briefly at Blake and Mary Kay, still talking. She tries to take a deep breath and calm herself, knowing her discontent over this interaction is immature and unfounded.

Still, she can't shake the feeling at the pit of her stomach that something is very wrong.

* * *

Her work for the day is done, but Gwen isn't leaving until she gets the chance to talk to Blake privately and find out what the heck was wrong with him earlier today at the luncheon.

When the last remaining person still working finally leaves, she goes to Blake's open door and peeks inside.

She finds him sitting at his desk looking haggard. It's certainly not how she would expect someone who's just spent the last few hours being celebrated to look.

"What's wrong with you?" she asks.

Blake looks up at her, his expression growing even more bleak. "It's Roger... he knows about us."

Gwen's heart speeds up. "What?"

"He pulled me aside at the beginning of the luncheon, started talking about how important the honor was for the theatre and he was really proud of me," Blake says. "And then he looked at me funny and said I needed to be careful."

"Be careful?"

"And I asked what he meant, and he just gave me this knowing expression, and then he said... 'You and Gwen.'"

Gwen wracks her brain, trying to think of anything they've done recently that might have given them away. Things like Roger coming into Blake's office after they had kissed, Blake leaving the dinner party shortly after she did — she thought they had hidden their secret well enough in those circumstances.

"How does he know?"

Blake smiles bitterly. "He forgot his cell phone at the office the other night. When he came back to get it, he saw us through my open door. When we were kissing in my chair."

Heat rises to Gwen's face, and she feels like she's going to vomit. She hopes kissing is all that Roger saw.

"What did you say when he told you that?"

Blake shakes his head. "I couldn't say anything. He's been like a father to me here. I was too embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I just nodded and walked away."

A range of emotions surge through her, from mortified to scared. She can only imagine how Blake must feel. Roger is one of the people at Majestic that he admires most. 

But if Roger is warning Blake to be careful, then obviously he's not going to blow the whistle. He's trying to help them out.

Blake looks so disturbed, Gwen can't help but want to make him feel better. She wanted to wait until she knows whether she got the job, but now seems like a good time to present to him their potential lifeline.

"Listen," she says. "It might be okay. I got a call earlier this week from Ryman Hospitality Properties, and they want me to come interview for a job with them tomorrow morning. If I get it, we're fine. I'll be out of here before anyone else knows anything."

Blake's eyes widen, and his face reddens a little. "You have a job interview? You've been applying for other jobs?"

Gwen nods her head, shrinking back a little. She thought he would be relieved that they might have an out here now that someone knows about them. But instead he looks stricken.

"I told you before that I didn't want you to have to do that because of me," he says, clearly frustrated.

She's confused why he's looking at her the way he is, like her making a move to adjust her life alongside his is a distressing thought.

"I don't see what the problem is if I get it," she says. "It sounds like a great job, it will be a step up for me, and then we won't be risking _your_ job to be together. So what are you so upset about?"

He shakes his head and rubs his hand on his forehead. "I don't want you to settle for something else just because of me."

Gwen sighs. "Did you hear what I said? It's with the people who put on the Opry and a bunch of other stuff? It's not settling, it's a great opportunity."

"But would you have applied for it if it wasn't for what's going on between us?"

She's quiet. Usually no, she wouldn't be changing jobs with barely seven months under her belt. She knows that doesn't typically look great on a resume, to have left a job so quickly.

Normally she would want to give her places of employment at least a year, if not two or three, before she started looking for a new opportunity elsewhere. But if Ryman Hospitality was willing to give her a look despite her only being at Majestic for a short time, why not go for it?

"If it wasn't for what's going on between us, who knows, I might still be trying to make a miserable relationship with Gavin work," she replies. "What's wrong with changing things in your life when you realize they need to be changed?"

Blake stands and turns, looking out his back windows to the street. Only a few cars pass here and there, traffic much slower now that business hours are done. The sun is partially clouded over, but the visible orange and red rays create a glare in the sky.

After a moment of silence, he lets out an audible sigh. "Maybe this was all just a big mistake," he says stoically. "None of this should have ever happened."

His words are quiet, contemplative, and not seemingly meant as any kind of fighting declaration. But Gwen hears each word as if he has shouted them at her.

"A big mistake," she repeats. "Is that how you really feel?"

He doesn't say anything.

It was one thing for him to tell her that they shouldn't embark on anything together when all they had shared were a few thoughtless kisses.

But now — after she's bared her soul and her body to him — he can't just say that and expect it not to devastate her. He has to know those words hurt her, but he's not taking it back.

She glares at the back of his head, feeling her hands start to tremble. She knows that he must be upset about Roger, worrying that Roger is disappointed with him.

He must be beating himself up for doing what he had sworn he wouldn't do, which was break ethical code and get involved with her.

She knows that he doesn't want her leaving this job on anything but her own terms, not for him but for herself. 

But she doesn't think this is really about any of that. She thinks she knows what this is really all about.

"If you've decided you don't want this with me, then just say so," she says, her voice breaking. "If this is too much for you and you can't handle it, and you're just using our job conflict as a reason to keep one foot out the door...if I'm ruining your exit strategy... just admit it."

Blake shakes his head but still doesn't look at her. "That's not... that's not what this is."

But Gwen knows she's hit on something here. Instead of being happy that they might have a solution to what's allegedly their main problem, he's using it as a reason to push back once again. It doesn't make sense otherwise.

To her horror, she feels herself starting to cry, the last thing she wanted to do.

"Do you think I just go around telling people that I love them?" she asks. "Do you think I just have sex with whoever comes along? I don't. I did that with you because it meant something to me. It wasn't a mistake. And I knew what I was getting into when I started falling for you, but I thought... I thought you were getting to know me and letting me in and ... I thought you'd finally start to believe me when I tell you how I feel about you and tell you I'm here for you. But you won't let yourself do it fully."

She waits for him to turn back around, to face her, to deny it all — but he doesn't. He just stands there, staring out the window.

"I wish you could trust me and my judgment," she says, her voice more steady now. "I wish you would trust me when I tell you I'm not going anywhere. But you don't, do you? So you'd rather just hurt both of us, I guess."

She waits another moment, until it's abundantly clear he's not ready to say anything in reply, that there won’t be any reassurances for her tonight.

She sighs, wiping the remaining tears off her face. “I'll be gone tomorrow morning for my interview. I'm using a few hours of paid time off to cover the absence, and I'll be in before lunch. Good night."

She turns and exits his office, grabbing her purse off of her desk and walking as fast as she can down the hallway to leave.

If he turns to watch her, she doesn't know, because she can't bring herself to look back at him even once.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments on the last chapter!!

"Thanks so much for coming in," Dan Abraham says to Gwen as she's leaving her interview. "We'll probably make a decision by the end of the day."

Gwen keeps a smile on her face, but inside she's a nervous wreck. Today is Friday. She's not sure if that means they'll call her this afternoon with the verdict, or if she'll have to anticipate her fate over the long, daunting weekend. 

"It was nice to meet you," she replies, shaking his hand before she departs.

The interview had gone very well. Exceptionally well, actually, considering she'd spent the night before sleeping very little, tossing and turning as she recounted her emotional conversation with Blake. 

One of the hardest things about all of this is she has no one to confide in about her secret pain over her secret lover. She just has to process all of it by herself. 

Thankfully, she had been able to pull herself together and put all of her turmoil aside as soon as she drove up to the Ryman headquarters. 

Dan Abraham kind of reminds her of her father, which put her at ease during the interview and helped her relax with him while she discussed the work she does at Majestic. All things considered, she couldn't have handled the interview better. 

On her drive over to Majestic, she tries to decide how to deal with seeing Blake again. She's tired of having to go into his office and force these confrontational conversations that always end in him telling her they can't be together. If she does the same thing today, she expects the same result. 

She can't do it. He's finally worn her down, and she doesn't have the energy to try and fight against his barriers anymore. Just when she thought she'd torn them down, he built them back up in record time.

She's not backing down, though. She meant every word yesterday, and there's not much else she can say. She can't force him to trust her. She can't force him to be with her. Whether he wants her or not, she's going to take the Ryman job if it's offered. And they'll either be together, or they won't.

But she can't work under him anymore either way. Not like this. 

Gwen avoids looking into Blake's office as she arrives at her desk, opening her email and going through the messages that need replies. There are six hours left in the workday, and she somehow has to juggle nerves over hearing about the Ryman job with her nerves over being a few feet from Blake's door. 

She's been there at least forty-five minutes before he emerges from his office, seemingly headed out to lunch. They exchange a look, but just as when she first started and she had no idea the person he was, she can't read the expression on his face. He at least has the decency to look exhausted, as if he got as little sleep last night as she did. 

She looks away first, returning her gaze to her computer and trying to calm her racing heart. 

Blake continues on, headed out, and she sneaks a peek at his retreating back. 

The more she thinks about everything, the angrier she grows. How is he just going to say what they had together was a mistake and then stand there in silence while she basically cried out all her feelings to him? How is he going to now just look at her and then keep walking without a word? 

In everything they've gone through, she's been the one doing the emotional heavy lifting. Always being the one to go to him and try to talk things out, figure out where they're at. 

She's done. It's his turn to step up, and if he won't, well... that's the best answer she can get to any of the questions she would have asked him anyway. 

* * *

She gets the job. 

It's almost 5 o'clock when that same Nashville phone number shows up on Gwen's caller ID. Knowing it's Ryman, she braces herself before she answers, then tries to quickly walk into an empty office across from her desk to have a tiny bit of privacy.

When he offers her the job, it takes her about one nanosecond to say yes. 

"We'd love for you to start the beginning of next month," Dan Abraham says over the phone. "You'll have time to give notice at your current job and then have a little break before you get going with us."

"Thank you so much, sir," she says. She is truly grateful. Personal life circumstances aside, this is exactly the kind of job advancement she would have wanted to make, even if it wasn't for another year or two. The fact that she's getting to do it so quickly is a true blessing. 

When she hangs up the phone, though, the reality of the situation suddenly hits her. 

She's leaving Majestic. 

She loves it here. She has loved the work, the kind of shows they do, the people she's surrounded with every day. 

She won't be working with Laney anymore, she won't be working in this area of downtown anymore.

The little world she's built her life around these past seven months is going to be gone now. 

And then there's Blake. This new job was supposed to be the key to them having a real relationship, with no secrets and no hindrances. 

But instead it might be the reason she never sees him again. 

She returns to her desk and begins typing up a resignation letter. She prints it out and reads it, not expecting the emotion that washes over her in an unrelenting wave. This is the saddest she's ever been about leaving a job before, for multiple obvious reasons. 

It takes her a little while to compose herself, and then, just before she's going to leave for the day, she takes a deep breath and nervously walks to Blake's door. 

He looks up at her from his desk, his face drawn. "Hey," he says quietly, anticipating. 

"Um, I need to talk to you," she says timidly, closing the door behind her. 

He leans back in his chair, his arms crossed. "I know," he says. His voice isn't strong, but he continues on. "Look, about yesterday... I'm sorry, I just... I don't know. I just think maybe we got ahead of ourselves, and this has all gone too fast... and maybe we need to take a step back from each other." 

He swallows hard, looking down at his desk. "I just think I was right to begin with, that I was only going to bring you down, and I should have stayed professional and... it's just all my fault, and I'm sorry."

He sighs and looks back up at her again, his eyes regretful. Gwen stares at him. He had a whole day to think about everything she said, and this is what he came up with to tell her? 

She can see in his face that he doesn't like what he's saying. But they've been here before, a few times, and he always reverts back to this stance. 

Stupid her for thinking that telling him she loved him and hearing it back would really change anything. 

She doesn't know if he expects her to fight him on this, but little does he know she doesn't have any fight left in her. He's just sealed their fate. 

"Okay, well, actually that's not what I came to talk to you about." She approaches his desk and puts her resignation letter in front of him. 

"I had my interview this morning, and I guess they were in a hurry to hire someone, because they called me this afternoon," she says. "I got the job. This is my two weeks' notice." 

Blake's face turns white. He picks up the resignation letter and stares at it for a long time. 

"That fast?" he finally says, his voice strained.

Gwen nods. "Yeah, so you can start looking for my replacement now, and hopefully you'll have some leads by the time I'm gone." 

Blake is quiet again, just staring at the letter. As she stands and waits for him to say something, she has a brief flashback to the first time she met him in this office, the day of her interview. They've spent countless hours in here together, getting to know each other, laughing, falling for each other. And now it's all over. 

"I hate this," he finally says, looking up at her with a pained expression. 

That wasn't really what she was expecting him to say.

"I'm sure you'll find someone just as good as me, don't worry," she replies, purposely deflecting. 

She doesn't intend what she says to have a double meaning — she's not talking about replacing her as assistant _and_ girlfriend — or whatever it is she was to him. But the fact that she could mean both things hits her when she says it.

Blake looks up at her sadly. "I didn't mean... I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

"I know you didn't," she replies. "But this was always going to be the end result, wasn't it? I can't continue working here either way."

"Gwen..." 

She doesn't know what he's going to say next, because someone knocks on the door.

"Come in," Blake says weakly.

Roger, of all people, sticks his head in, and Gwen feels her face turn bright red. 

"Oh, sorry to interrupt," Roger says awkwardly. 

Gwen swallows hard and shakes her head. "No, it's okay Roger," she says, motioning for him to walk inside. "I should go ahead and tell you, too... I was just letting Blake know that I've gotten another job and I'm leaving. I'm really going to miss working with you."

Roger's face falls, and he walks closer to Gwen. "But you just got here... what are we going to do without you?"

He offers her a hug, and she gladly walks into his arms. She needs an embrace from someone, anyone right now.

"Who's the lucky company that stole you?" Roger asks. 

"Ryman Hospitality."

"Those bastards," he sighs. "When is your last day?" 

"Two weeks from today." She looks over at Blake. "I hope you guys can find someone quickly. I don't want to leave anyone in the lurch." 

"Oh, don't worry about us," Roger says, and she wants to cry at his warmth and understanding. This is the one person who became aware of her and Blake's indiscretion, and yet he's treating her so sweetly. 

"Anyways, um, I'm going to head out now. See you guys on Monday." 

Gwen scurries out of the office to leave the two men alone, hoping to get out of their sight before her cool façade crumbles. 

* * *

Gwen's going away party on her last day of work is a sad affair. 

Laney has brought a funny cake with the words "FINE, LEAVE" in the spirit of being lighthearted, but she's spent the last fifteen minutes tearing up over Gwen actually leaving. 

"We have to still get together and hang out," Laney says, for at least the tenth time.

Gwen nods and tries to comfort her. "We will, I promise. You're one my best friends in Nashville. Who knows, maybe one day I'll actually let you set me up with one of Jay's friends and we can double date."

When Laney's eyes widen in excitement, Gwen holds up a finger. "But not so fast, not yet," she says with a laugh. "I'll let you know when I'm ready." 

The party has been going on for about thirty minutes with no sign of Blake, but she's instantly aware of his presence when he finally enters the room. 

Due to Gwen's impending departure, there wasn't need for them to work much together these last two weeks. She still transferred his calls to him of course, made appointments for him in the digital planner, tied up loose ends on any events they had each day, but all future concerts were now out of her hands since she wouldn't be here to deal with them when they happened. 

Instead of doing her typical tasks she'd be doing if nothing was changing, Gwen had spent most of her time left writing up an informative guide for whoever her replacement would be — it's something that would have been helpful for her to have, would have made her first few weeks go smoother.

She's typed up instructions, tips, reminders, everything she can think of that the next executive assistant will need to know, since she won't be here to help them transition. This has been something she's been able to work on all by herself, so it's made avoiding Blake, avoiding his eyes, avoiding having to talk to him, that much easier. 

She still wished he would approach her. Tell her what he's thinking, tell her he changed his mind again, that he was wrong. But he hasn't, and she's not going to force him to anymore. She knows her own worth, and if he's willing to let her go, it's going to be his loss. 

It doesn't mean she's not heartbroken. She's spent the past few nights crying more than not. 

But sometimes love isn't enough, and maybe that's the lesson she was meant to learn here. 

"Now that the boss is here we can cut the cake," Laney announces. "Isn't it funny, Blake?" 

Blake looks down at the cake reading the words, but he doesn't smile. "Yeah, very funny," he says, deadpan.

Laney pats his arm, and Gwen looks down at the floor. She takes the piece of cake on a plate that Laney hands her and focuses on eating it slowly as other coworkers begin coming over to her to tell her goodbye and good luck. 

Even though she's only been here a short time, she feels like everyone has become an extended family member. She can hardly believe she won't be here with them for years to come. 

When she's alone for a moment, she sees him move closer to her. 

"So..." he says, not looking at her directly. "This is it, huh?" 

"Yep," she replies, looking him squarely in the eye, daring him to say anything of substance. 

"It really is a good job you're taking," he says, surprising her. He had never asked her for much detail about the position and what her responsibilities would be at Ryman, since they were barely speaking, but he must have looked into it at some point. 

"It's a good move for you," he says. 

"I know," Gwen replies, taking another bite of her cake. She doesn't need him to tell her that. She tried to tell him that before, and he wouldn't listen. 

"We're all... we're going to miss you around here," he says, and she turns and looks at him with what she hopes doesn't appear to be animosity. It's just in this moment that she realizes how pissed off at him she is. Is that the best he can do? 

"I'm going to miss everyone, too," she replies stiffly. "But we'll all survive." 

She sighs, wishing this painful conversation was over. What she doesn't want from him is platitudes or small talk after two weeks of him sidestepping any possible interaction with her, hiding away, refusing to confront what he feels and what it is he's done.

"Listen, I don't... I don't need this from you," she says quietly. "Let's just say goodbye and let that be that. You're free and clear, and you can just forget all of this ever happened. I know that's what you want." 

She walks away from him, relieved when someone else comes over to give her a hug. 

When the party winds down, Gwen returns to her desk, where she's packed up all of her personal belongings in a box. She'd spent the last few days cleaning everything out, throwing away trash and unneeded documents, including that dreaded employee handbook. 

She puts her purse inside the box and picks it up, looking around one more time. 

With no fanfare and no tears, she walks out of The Majestic one last time.

* * *

Blake stands and stares at her desk, its emptiness somehow reverberating as a sound throughout the room, mocking him. 

Everything that made the desk personal to her is gone. The mint green stapler she kept on the left hand corner. The glass bottle of that "Stress Relief" vanilla hand lotion she'd kept next to her computer, the one she'd jokingly offer to him from time to time when he was clearly stressed out. The fake succulent she bought because she said it reminded her of home and she also didn't have to worry about killing it. 

"Can't believe she's gone, huh?" Roger asks from a few feet away. 

Blake looks up, startled. He didn't think anyone else was still here. 

"Yeah," he says quietly.

He can't take his eyes off of where she used to sit. He doesn't know how he's going to walk in on Monday and see the chair empty. 

"So, now that everything is on the up and up... do you mind telling me what's going on between the two of you?" Roger asks. "Did she leave because of that?"

Blake nods slightly. "That she did." 

"Are you going to keep seeing her? She's a fantastic girl, Blake." 

Blake shakes his head, his face grim. "I know she is. But I screwed it all up."

Roger looks confused. "How did you manage to do that?"

Blake figures he might as well be honest with the one person who knew about their relationship. "I told her it was all a mistake. I was embarrassed that you found out about us and upset that she was changing her whole career plans for me. I'm not worth that, Roger. Not for anyone." 

Roger grabs Blake's shoulder and shakes it a little. "She apparently thought you were."

"Yeah, she did," Blake says sadly. "But I figure she would have come to her senses at some point."

It's one thing about her he's never comprehended, how she could look at him with so much love and value. 

And he was afraid of the day that look disappeared. 

"If you don't mind me offering you some advice... it's something I would tell my own son," Roger says. "We only regret the chances we don't take. I know, I know, I didn't come up with that myself, it's a cliché they put on inspirational calendars. But it's true. I'm 65 years old, so I've got some life experience behind me. You don't want to look back with regrets. You'll regret letting her go without at least trying, I can tell you that right now." 

Roger pats Blake on the back and sighs. "See you Monday, pal. Hope you can find a new assistant soon, we've got a busy summer coming up." 

After Roger is gone, Blake goes back to staring at Gwen's desk, thinking over everything again. He knows he hurt her. And made her mad, judging by her demeanor toward him earlier today.

He thought he was doing what was best for both of them. For some reason, he thought they could just go back to the way things were, that he could erase the damage he had done and she would be able to redirect herself down the path she was supposed to go. And his heart wouldn't be at risk anymore. 

_Let me decide._

He hadn't listened when she told him that, not really. He should have. 

She was right. She's always been right. 

Over the last two weeks, it took all of his strength not to beg her to stay. Offer her a pay raise, more paid time off, whatever she wants.

But it would have just been selfish on his part, him doing anything he could to keep her in his proximity. He knows she wouldn't have agreed to any of it, and he knows they couldn't stay in the situation they were in forever. 

He doesn't even know what she'd say if he went to her and begged for forgiveness. Maybe she's finally seen in him what he was trying to tell her the whole time — that she could do better. 

Over the past few days, as he increasingly dreaded the moment she would leave, he started to wonder what would really be harder to go through — getting more time with her and possibly eventually losing her down the road?

Or cutting it all off now, before they went any further? 

He thought up until recently that the first option would be worse. 

But as he continues staring at her empty desk, he realizes the second scenario isn't an option for him at all. 

He grabs his keys out of the office and makes his way out to his truck, hoping it's not too late. 


	20. Chapter 20

On her way home from her last day at Majestic, Gwen stops at the store and grabs a bottle of wine and a pint of ice cream for her Friday night alone. She feels like she has whiplash from everything that has transpired over the last few months.

In just a short amount of time, she: fell for Blake, broke up with Gavin, changed apartments, tried to deny her attraction to Blake, gave in to her attraction for Blake, told him she loved him and slept with him, had a secret relationship with him, got dumped, and left the job that had come to feel like home for her.

Anyone else who'd gone through all of that would feel entitled to a night of wine and ice cream — and probably crying — too.

When Gwen has been home alone for about an hour and can't stand being in her own head anymore, she finally gives in to the need to confide in someone.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" Jen asks when she hears the tone of Gwen's voice.

"Are you busy or can you talk?"

"Of course I can talk, what's going on?"

Gwen launches into the full story of everything that has happened since Jen visited. Jen already knew some of the key details, such as her breakup with Gavin and her move to a new apartment. But everything that went on with Blake since they'd admitted they loved each other had remained a secret, something Gwen had protected and kept to herself as she waited to see how it would resolve.

"So now you're done working there, and he's just let you go without saying anything," Jen says.

"Pretty much," Gwen replies morosely. "He's too afraid to be with me. I think I've known it since I first met him, that he couldn't ever really open himself up to someone. I thought he was starting to do that with me, but then he shut down again."

Jen sighs. "I just don't get it, like, what is his problem?"

Gwen doesn't want to go into all of the details of what happened in Blake's past to make him put up walls around his heart, but she can at least provide a little insight.

"It's a lot of things, but part of it is that he was engaged before, and she left him, and that really screwed him up," Gwen says. "I think my looking for another job was making things too serious for him, too fast. At least when we were a secret and couldn't officially date there were still some boundaries there. But an actual relationship with me, out in the open? I don't know if he knows how to handle that. He doesn't want to get hurt again."

"But isn’t he hurting himself by pushing you away?"

Gwen doesn't know what he tells himself to rationalize his actions, but she can't torture herself continuing to try and figure it out.

"I'm sure he is," she says. "But I can't beg him to be with me anymore. I've already made how I feel perfectly clear."

Gwen is about to pour her next glass of wine when she hears a knock at her door.

"Oh fuck, someone's here," she whispers to Jen, her pulse racing. Her first thought for some reason is that Gavin's finally found her. She still doesn't feel like that situation was ever fully closed.

"Jen, I have to hang up so I can check and see who it is."

"Okay, I love you," Jen says. "Call me back later if you need me."

Gwen opens the app on her phone that allows her to view what her security camera sees from above her door.

It's Blake.

She looks down at her attire — she'd already changed into her most comfortable lavender jersey material pajama pants and a white camisole. Her hair is up in a messy bun, and she's cleaned her face of any makeup so that she could cry freely if needed. She's a little buzzed from the sorrow-induced wine she's been drinking, and she's feeling a little brazen too.

Oh well.

He knocks again, and she slowly makes her way to the door, unlocking the tab on the doorknob and sliding open the deadbolt.

When she opens the door to him, he looks at her with an anxious expression on his face and shoves his hands in his pockets. He's changed out of his work clothes into an ensemble more closely resembling what he wore the time she saw him at the bar, the plaid shirt, jeans, and boots that were probably more prominent staples of his wardrobe in his former life.

"Can I come in?" he asks nervously, quietly.

She realizes she's just been staring at him, so she opens the door further to allow him to walk inside, then locks it behind him and watches as he walks to her couch and sits down without asking.

"If you're just here to tell me all the reasons again why you don't want to be with me, clear your conscience a little more, I think I already got the message, so don't bother," she says standing by the door with her arms crossed. She doesn't want to be mean to him, but she's not in the mood for another one of his lectures.

"I'm not," Blake says. He looks over at the empty spot next to him on the couch. 

Gwen frowns and keeps her arms crossed but shuffles over, sitting far away from him on the other side of the sofa and keeping her eyes straight ahead. The combination of her weeks-long frustration with him and the alcohol has made her very angry, she realizes. He sits with his body directed toward her, staring at the side of her face. 

"I had a, what do you call it? An epiphany," he says. "I had an epiphany. And I came to tell you... I'm a coward. And I love you, and you scare the hell out of me."

Gwen relaxes her arms a little and looks at him from the corner of her eye.

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about everything you said that day in my office," he says. "About my excuses and not trusting you, and... you were right. I still don't fully trust you, I guess."

Gwen nods subtly, feeling validated at least in this admission from him. In her opinion she's done everything she could to gain his trust, but he's still withholding it in some ways. What else is there for her to do?

“As much as you say you love me and that you won't break my heart, there are really no guarantees in life," he says. "I think theoretically I feel like the pain will be less if I just lose you now when it's partly my decision... than if it were to happen later because you're the one who decides to walk away when you realize you want something else."

Gwen lets out an aggravated huff, but Blake gives her a gentle smile and holds up his hand to pause her before she can say anything in protest.

"I can't promise you that I'm just going to automatically stop worrying about that happening,” he says. “But I can't stand the thought —no — I fucking _hate_ the thought of not having you in my life anymore, of never seeing you again, of never touching you again. Do you know what I did after you left today?"

Gwen shakes her head.

"I went and stood at my door and just stared at your desk for like, an hour," he says. "Just staring and thinking about what it's going to be like to not have you sitting there anymore. And worse, to not have you anywhere else in my life either. It makes me feel empty to think about it. I've felt empty these last two weeks, waiting for you to go. And I had to ask myself why I’m being such a fucking idiot to just stand there and watch the best thing that ever happened to me walk away, all because of my fear about something hypothetically going wrong down the line."

Gwen still isn't sure exactly what it is he's saying or where he’s going with this. She looks at him curiously, encouraging him to continue with her expression. He peers into her eyes, reaching his hand out to the middle of the sofa, still not close enough to touch her, but clearly wanting to.

"I realized I would rather risk being hurt again if it means I get to be with you," he says. "And that you were right in saying you should decide what's best for you, not me. Because you found a job that's even better than the one that you had, and it was your prerogative to do that, and I shouldn't have projected all my insecurities and doubts on what you wanted to do with your own life."

She nods, glad he sees this, finally. He was always so worried that she would make a bad choice or take a wrong turn because of him, but she proved that she knew what she was doing. She had found a way for them to be together that didn't derail her future, either.

He was so convinced things would turn out poorly that he didn't allow himself to see that they could actually turn out perfectly. 

"I thought I was protecting both of us by ending it, but now I know I was wrong. I'm so sorry for what I've put you through, and that it's taken me this long to figure everything out," he continues. "I'm sorry it had to get to this point before I found the courage to admit all of this. I know I don't have any right to ask you for another chance. But if you can forgive me, if we could just start over, I promise... I won't let you down again. You can ruin me if you want to. I'll be there until the end." 

Gwen looks at him shaking her head. "I was never going to ruin you," she murmurs.

If only she could make him see she always wanted to do the opposite of that. She wanted to put him back together.

She plays with the gold heart-shaped ring she wears on her right middle finger, twisting it around and around. His words are already having their intended effect on her, and she understands where he's coming from. She knew all along that he had issues they needed to overcome.

But she's still filled with doubt and can't let herself give in so easily.

"How can you be so sure now that you're ready for this? How can you be with me if you don't trust me? That's not going to work."

Blake shakes his head and sighs, his forehead creasing. "It's not that I don't trust you at all, I do. I just... since my last relationship, I did try... I would meet someone and get up the courage to go on a date, and there just was never a connection strong enough to make me want to risk it," he says. "Until you. And it was scary, and you saw how hard I fought that. Yet I keep coming back to you. I can't keep fighting it. I know in my heart that I can trust you, but my head just needs time to catch up and stop coming up with all these reasons to question it. It’s just going to take time."

Gwen still isn't sure. She wants to give in to him, but her heart is warning her to tread carefully.

He hurt her badly, and she doesn't think she'll ever forget how she felt hearing him say that they were a mistake. She's got trust issues with him now, too.

"I don't know what to say," she replies, her voice frail. "It feels like you want me one day, regret me the next, and it's a cycle that I can't go through again."

"No, that's not true," Blake says vehemently, moving closer. "I have always wanted you, and I have never regretted you. Ever. It's all me, I swear, but I want to make this work. I don't want to be without you and I don't want to hurt you again. I got a taste of what it would be like to have you gone from my life for just these last few hours, and that was too long. And Roger... he gave me some advice about you, and he's right. I will hate myself for the rest of my life if I let you go." 

Gwen feels tears coming to her eyes, and she wishes with all her might that she could hold them back. Blake reaches out and wipes away a drop that escapes down her cheek.

"If you're willing, we can take it slow — we can take it as slow as we need as we learn to trust each other, together," he says. "I want to do that with you.”

Gwen thinks about it all for a moment, studying his face. He looks at her with some combination of earnestness and unguarded hope. 

They will both have to be willing to expose themselves to hurt again in order to be together, to try this for real. In reality, anyone who's in a relationship is risking that — risking that it will end in pain, loss, heartbreak. You have to put your heart in someone else's hands and hope for the best. 

But when love overtakes fear, you go for it anyway. 

"What if we just start by going on a date?" Blake asks, his voice a little more hesitant now. "Something we've never gotten to do. Are you free tomorrow night? We could have dinner and celebrate your new job."

Gwen wipes another tear away and manages to give him a small smile. It takes her back to the night he told her he was jealous that Christopher got to ask her out, and he couldn't. Now he can. 

"I don't know," she says, a lilt in her voice. "This is very last minute. I was planning on staying in and washing my hair."

He leans in closer, recognizing the lightness in her tone. "Do you need any help with that?"

Gwen has to laugh, caught by surprise at his joke. She pauses for a minute, taking in a few deep breaths. She's never been one to let fear — or pride —hold her back from what she wants.

"Okay, we can go to dinner," she finally relents, though her trepidation isn't fully gone. But one date, she can handle. "Just pick somewhere good."

She can see Blake's body literally relax with relief, and he beams at her. "Great. Um, well, I'll come get you at 7 and... thank you. I... You're not going to regret this, I promise."

His flustered reaction is endearing. Gwen walks him to her door, letting him hug her goodbye and kiss her on the forehead. 

He leans down closer and whispers in her ear. "I really do love you. I hope you believe me."

She pulls back to look in his eyes. Her faith in him had been shaken, but it turns out it wasn't broken, not completely.

"I believe you."


	21. Chapter 21

When Gwen hears his light knock on her door, she takes one last glance in the mirror before she goes to greet him.

She's not sure what all they're doing tonight, but she'd decided to dress up for her first real date in ages in a sleeveless black dress, black heels, gold jewelry, and her hair down.

When she opens the door to him, he stares at her with a smile on his face. “Hey," he says softly. 

It's hard to believe after the last two weeks of trying to accept the fact that they weren't going to be together, he is now at her door to take her on a date.

She’s still nervous, hesitant to let herself embrace the full excitement she might normally be feeling for this occasion. She even wondered a few fleeting times today if he was going to call and cancel. But now that he’s here and looking at her the way he is, she can let herself relax just a little.

When he moves down to kiss her on the cheek, she leans into it, just briefly. He offers her his hand and leads her down the stairs to his truck.

“So, where are we going?”

“I thought we’d go to The Standard,” he says, eyeing her to see if she approves. The nice, romantic restaurant is located in a historic building near the heart of downtown, and she’s never been there before.

“Oh wow, that sounds good." 

He reaches over to hold her hand as he drives them to their destination, his thumb caressing her skin the whole way. It helps to calm her, even as she fights to quell the lingering doubts in her mind.

After arriving at the restaurant, they are seated at a private table, low-lit and intimate. Gwen looks around, glad she dressed up for what turned out to be such an elegant environment.

But she honestly wouldn’t care where they were, because she can’t get over that they’re really together, and out in public on top of that. Not only are they on a date, but they don’t have to worry about who sees them.

She’s not sure how they would feel if they ran into someone they know, especially someone from Majestic, but it wouldn’t even really matter. The freedom in that is surreal, and scary, and exhilarating.

As they wait for the waiter to bring them their food, Blake stares at her from across the table.

“What?” she asks, self-conscious.

He smiles. “Nothing,” he says softly. He keeps staring.

She laughs nervously, smoothing down her hair. She returns his gaze, starting to understand why he’s looking at her the way he is. It’s hard to believe this is real. 

Over dinner, he asks her to tell him all she knows about her new job with Ryman.

Her first day is a week from Monday, so she’d planned to spend the upcoming free time cleaning her apartment, shopping for some new work clothes, and getting some extra sleep before beginning the new endeavor.

She'll start out by helping to organize events and small live music shows for the chain of restaurants Ryman owns. The job comes with the potential for her to work her way up to coordinating bigger events.

"I’ve met Dan Abraham a few times, he’s a nice guy. He couldn't have picked a better person," Blake says. "You'll be working the Opry in no time. I'm screwed though, because there's no way I'm finding an assistant as good as you."

She offers him a small smile. “I’m sure that’s not true.” 

Once Blake pays the check, he offers up another suggestion. “I was thinking we could walk over the pedestrian bridge?” he asks. “It’s so nice out… I’ve never actually done it at night, either.”

Gwen is surprised. “Never?” She’s walked the bridge over the Cumberland River after sunset a few times, including with Jen when she visited.

Blake shrugs casually. “I never had a reason to, I guess. Or anyone I wanted to do it with.”

They find a closer parking spot near the bridge, then begin their slow and steady ascent over the path, holding hands and stopping once they reach the top to take in the lights of downtown Nashville behind them.

Gwen puts her hands on the railing, looking back at the skyline, and she feels Blake envelop her from behind.

“I love you so much,” he murmurs, his mouth hovering near her ear, surprising her with this sudden declaration. Emotion rises in her chest, and she turns so she can face him, seeing the intense expression on his face.

All she's ever wanted is for him to feel like he can be open with her, trusting her with his heart and his feelings.

"I love you, too," she replies quietly. She had purposely not said it back to him at the end of his visit last night, still too raw from everything that had happened between them. But the way he's looking at her compels her to tell him now. 

He sighs, taking her face in his hands and moving down to kiss her gently. He leans back and his eyes cloud over, vulnerability settling there. “I’ve never felt this way about anybody... I thought I knew what love was before. But it was never like this.”

A slight breeze blows through his hair, lifting some of the curls. She reaches up and smooths them down, letting her hand come to rest on his cheek.

Just yesterday she might have still worried that his coming to terms with such a powerful realization would scare him back into his shell. But for some reason, hearing this from him now puts her at peace.

She lifts her body to reach his lips, kissing him again with her hand on his face.

“What did you want to do after this?” she wonders aloud. She doesn’t want the evening to be over yet. 

“Do you want to see my place?” he asks, a little self-consciously. “Or did you want to go home?”

Gwen doesn’t take but a split second to respond. “I’d love to see where you live.”

It’s one of the last parts of him — at least in Nashville — that she hasn’t been given access to, the place he calls home, where he goes when he’s alone.

They walk back down the bridge to his car, and she sits in anticipation as he drives them to his condo. It doesn’t take long. His place is located right outside downtown, and Gwen is taken by the sleekness of the building along with the great location.

“This is awesome,” she says as he leads her inside through the lobby. It makes her apartment building look like a hole in the wall.

He guides her to his door, then lets her walk inside first after he’s turned the key.

While part of her expected to find neutral colors, clean and neat, she’s not surprised to see the full representation of Blake’s interests displayed in the condo. A record player sits on top of a turntable stand that contains what must be at least a hundred albums. Framed posters from old Opry performances are arranged along the wall above the record player setup.

On another wall, a large framed piece of art depicting the Nashville cityscape is prominent, and next to that — a framed Oklahoma state flag.

A picture of his sister and the woman who must be his mother sits atop the entertainment center, near the television. Books about music, country singers, and guitars are stacked on a bookshelf, with more pictures of the men she guesses were his brother and father lining the bottom shelf.

Finally, she sees a painted portrayal of the Majestic Theatre. The caption underneath says the piece of art was created circa 1985.

“This place is amazing,” she breathes out as she takes it all in.

“I tried to make it feel less depressing around here,” Blake says sheepishly.

He walks over and opens floor-length curtains, revealing a wall of windows with the actual downtown skyline gleaming in the distance.

It's an impressive display, but looking back at him, she can only imagine how lonely he’s been here despite the beauty surrounding him.

Blake puts a Conway Twitty album on the record player and then leads her to the kitchen, where she watches him pour two glasses of white wine. They take their glasses to the living room and sit down on the sofa. 

She takes a few sips of her wine, facing him. Suddenly she feels nervous again, being alone with him, the tension and energy between them thick in the air.

“So…” he says, gazing at her.

“So.” She runs her finger over her lips unconsciously.

She told herself before the date that she wasn’t going to sleep with him again yet. She wanted to make sure he was going to stick around this time and earn her trust before she went there with him.

But that was easy for her to say when she was alone in her own apartment, unsure how the night would go. Considering the beautiful thing he said to her on the bridge… and how sexy he is…and the magnetic pull she has to him as usual… she’s rethinking that vow to herself right about now.

“Your apartment is really nice,” she says, looking around, trying to distract herself. “How long have you been here?”

“Two years,” Blake replies. “I was in a much cheaper place when I first moved out to the city, but once I got to my current position I was able to move here.”

She takes another sip of wine, and then puts the glass back on the coffee table. She takes a deep breath.

“I have to be honest,” she says, her voice serious. “All I really want to do right now is make out with you.”

Blake’s eyes widen in surprise and he laughs, putting his glass down as well. He moves in closer to her, pulling her to him. “Well I’m not gonna argue with that,” he murmurs as he presses his lips to hers.

They begin to kiss almost frantically, the peak of emotion and feeling from yesterday, the date, these last two weeks — their time apart, almost losing each other — overwhelming both of them. It is all so intense, she almost starts to cry. He moves his lips to her neck and her collarbone, leaving open-mouthed kisses on her skin as she grips his hair.

“Blake,” she says breathlessly, halfway delirious already.

“Yes?”

“I really need you.”

He knows what she means by that, and he responds by kissing her fiercely. He gets her out of her dress while they’re still on the sofa, pulling it over her head and tossing it on the ground before they stumble over their own feet in their haste to make it to his bedroom.

He lays her out on the bed, looking down at her with piercing eyes as he settles between her legs, moving inside of her.

“Hey,” he whispers, taking her hand and placing it to his chest. His heart is pounding, its pace quickened. “This is what you've always done to me, from the day I met you.”

She smiles up at him before closing her eyes.

There’s not much else either needs to say. They know what each other is thinking and feeling because they are thinking and feeling the same things. 

Afterward, laying with their bodies pressed together, Blake caresses her hair and starts humming a melody. She recognizes it as the tune he played for her song, when they were first at her apartment together.

“Can you come up with a melody for another song?” she asks, wanting to hear him play something more happy than the “medicine man” song she wrote about Gavin.

“Let me get my guitar,” he says, rolling out of bed. She contentedly watches as he retreats to grab the instrument, then settles next to him when he gets back under the covers and cradles the guitar under his arms.

“Tell me some of the words again,” he says gently as he begins to play. She finds herself catching on to the melody that he is conjuring up, and she starts to sing along with the lyrics.

_You're so good and you don't even know it_

_You're rare_

_And only a stupid girl would let it go_

The sound of her words — the ones she wrote about him — being put to the music he’s playing overwhelms her, and she feels tears come to her eyes.

“You sing beautifully,” Blake tells her after she stops due to the emotion closing her throat. “You should sing with me sometime, at one of the bars I go to.”

Gwen shakes her head forcefully. “Oh, I’m not really a singer, not in public. I couldn’t.”

Blake takes her face and makes her look at him. “But you sound great. Hasn’t anyone ever told you that before?”

She shakes her head slightly, thinking back. No, no one had ever told her that. She’d sung before in front of Gavin, just around the house, and he’d never said a word.

Blake leans down and kisses her. “No pressure. You can just sing in front of me in bed if you like,” he smiles at her. “It was just a thought.”

He puts the guitar away and they huddle back down under the covers, holding each other and talking.

She thinks on what he said, about her singing. She’s always loved doing it, she just never thought she was cut out to actually sing in front of people — that anyone would want to hear her.

She has to admit, her and Blake’s voices blended kind of nicely there for a minute, when he caught on to the chorus and sang with her.

She’s not jumping straight onto the idea of singing with him in front of an audience one day.

But maybe.

* * *

The sound of Blake's phone ringing causes them both to stir from a deep and peaceful sleep.

Gwen takes a look at her own phone and sees that it’s just past 10 a.m. They’d stayed up so long together last night, talking and making love, that they’d slept in much later than she was usually accustomed to.

Spending the night certainly hadn’t been in her original plan, but somehow she’s not surprised she let it happen. There was never a point last night where she felt even capable of pulling herself away from him.

As much as they both intend and want to take things slow, it was hard to stop the speed with which they were destined to crash into each other, when they both let go and let it happen. She was already too far gone to begin with. 

“Endy? What’s going on?” Blake asks, groggy and slowly moving to sit up. He listens for a minute or two as Endy says whatever she called to say, and Blake nods his head.

“Okay… Okay… Yeah, I’ll come. I’ll be there. As soon as I can. I’m coming.”

He hangs up the phone and looks at Gwen, fear in his eyes.

“My mom is in the hospital in Ada,” he says. “She was sick all week apparently, she didn’t think it was a big deal, but then she collapsed and was hospitalized this morning with what they think is pneumonia. Endy wants me to come and see her, she’s really worried.”

Gwen’s eyes widen, and her heart starts to race.

“Of course, you have to go,” she says, rubbing his shoulder.

If there was anything that was ever going to get him back to Ada, the illness of one of the people he loves most in the world was always going to be the catalyst, she realizes.

Blake sighs, standing up shakily and pulling on his boxers. He runs both hands through his hair, looking around distressed.

“I don’t even know where to start, I guess I need to pack a bag, it’s a ten-hour drive,” he says, looking around. “I don’t know how long I’m going to be there."

Gwen just sits and watches him as he starts rummaging through his dresser drawers, clutching the bedspread to her chest. “Do you need me to do anything to help you?” she asks, feeling useless watching him be so overwhelmed.

Blake stops and turns her way, looking at her intensely.

“Would you… do you think you could come with me?” he asks, his voice fragile. 

Gwen’s heart almost stops, the gravity of his question hitting her immediately. He’s been gone from Ada for five years, trying to avoid any thought or emotion about it because it hurts him so much.

Now he has to go, and he wants her to be there with him when he faces it after all this time.

There’s only one answer, really.

“Of course,” she says, looking back at him sincerely. “I’ll go with you.”


	22. Chapter 22

Gwen gazes at the stars above out the window of Blake’s truck as they speed seventy miles per hour down the interstate. 

They’ve been traveling for about seven hours already with just a couple of breaks, and she can tell that Blake is growing weary.

“Are you tired? Do you want me to take over driving?” she asks. He shakes his head.

“We can stop for the night soon and finish the trip in the morning,” he says. “We won't be able to get in and see my mom past this hour anyway. Can you look up some hotels in Fort Smith?”

Gwen says sure and pulls out her phone to search for a place they can stay. She’s done her best during the trip to keep Blake’s mind distracted from the overwhelming feelings he must be having about going back to the place he had cut ties with so definitively, as well as worry about his mom.

They’ve spent the past hours talking about random stuff, their favorite concerts, childhood hobbies. They’ve done a lot of listening and singing to music.

And other times they were quiet, Blake staring straight ahead while Gwen looked around, thinking about how he last made this trip in reverse, all of his possessions in his car as he moved to a city he knew little about to escape a city that had defined him his whole life.

They enter Fort Smith, Arkansas, and Gwen gives him verbal directions to get to a Hampton Inn where she’d reserved a room via her phone.

After checking in at the hotel, they decide to go to a nearby diner and grab a quick dinner before turning in for the night. Sitting at a booth under fluorescent lighting, Gwen can see more clearly the stress making its impact on Blake’s features.

“Have you gotten any texts from Endy about your mom’s condition?” she asks.

“Endy says she’s sleeping a lot, but she's stable,” he replies. “I’d like to see that for myself, though.”

Gwen reaches out and touches his hand on the table. “I know you would.”

After they finish eating, they go back to their room to get ready for bed. Gwen starts to gather her clothes to go to the bathroom and take a shower when she looks back at Blake sitting forlornly on the bed, staring blankly at the television. She wants to make him feel better.

Walking slowly over to him, she takes his hands.

“Remember when you asked me if I needed help washing my hair?” she asks.

Blake’s eyebrows raise, and she smiles softly at him, pulling him up with her. She runs the water so it can get hot, and they undress each other with a gentleness that displays the fatigue and emotion they have both been shouldering all day.

Underneath the streaming warm water, she washes his back with soap and then turns him around so she can do his chest. He tenderly massages shampoo through her hair, then helps her rinse it out with careful attention.

She shrieks with surprised laughter when he suddenly picks her up, pressing her against the wall of the shower as she wraps her legs around his waist. Her laughs cease as he begins to kiss her, and they make love just like that, his hands under her thighs to help keep her off the ground.

Even after they’re done, they stay there together in the shower, kissing until their fingers are pruning. She shuts off the water while he steps out to get them some towels.

“I’ve never done that before,” she admits to him shyly, biting her lip and looking up at him with a little mischief. He answers her with a kiss, and she lets him dry her off some before he wraps the towel around her shoulders.

After they are both dry and dressed in pajamas, they huddle under the covers together in bed, ESPN on the TV at a low volume.

She doesn’t press for him to talk about how he feels about tomorrow, doesn’t ask if he wants her to meet his mom or stay outside the hospital.

Quiet is what he needs right now, she can sense, so she just lets him hold her in silence until they both fall asleep.

* * *

They arrive in Ada, Oklahoma, at around 9 the next morning as the rain falls steadily. Gwen watches Blake from her peripheral vision to see his reaction, but the stoic expression on his face doesn’t change when they pass the welcome sign.

He drives directly to the small hospital where his mom is being treated, parking in a spot near the entrance and texting Endy that they’ve arrived.

“Do you want me to wait in the car for you or come inside?” Gwen finally asks.

Blake looks at her in surprise, as if he never expected that it would be a question. “I want you with me, of course,” he says. She nods quickly, opening her door.

They walk inside holding hands, and Blake scans the room numbers until they reach his mom’s. He knocks gently on the door, which is slightly ajar.

Inside, his mother is asleep in her bed, an IV inserted into her arm providing fluids. The TV mounted in one corner plays a rerun of “I Love Lucy.” 

Gwen stands closer to the door as Blake walks ahead, sitting down in a chair at her bedside and touching her on the arm. “Mom?”

His mother murmurs something in her sleep but doesn't awaken. Blake looks over at Gwen and nods toward another chair, urging her to sit down as well. 

They stay quiet for a while, letting the sounds of the TV fill the room. A nurse comes in and checks on his mom, then gives them a smile and a thumbs up before retreating. 

"Endy said she's just really weak and her body needs time to recover, that's why she's sleeping so much," Blake says quietly.

"Where is Endy?"

"Since she knew I was getting here this morning she went into work, wants to keep the shop running," he says. "She'll be around later, though." 

After about an hour Endy arrives, joining them with a tray of coffees she brought from her shop. She smiles at Gwen, who blushes a little, wondering how much Endy knows about her and Blake’s change in relationship. Obviously it’s significant, since she’s here in Ada with him, but Gwen is unsure how specific Blake has been with his sister.

“It’s good to see you again,” Endy says to Gwen, after giving Blake a big hug. “Was the trip over okay?”

“Just long, as you are aware,” Blake replies. “Gwen got to see more of Tennessee, Arkansas, and southeast Oklahoma than she ever could have dreamed of. Right, Gwen?”

She chuckles, nodding. “I’d never been east of New Mexico in my life until I moved out to Nashville last year, so this is definitely all brand new for me.” 

"Why don't y'all go get some lunch, take a break from this depressing place," Endy says. "Come back later; she'll be the same, I promise." 

Blake looks at Gwen, and she offers him a compliant look. Whatever he wants to do is fine with her. 

“Let’s just drive around for a bit,” he says to her as they walk out of the hospital, and she nods her understanding.

As they navigate around the small town, Blake begins to point out to her significant spots from his formative years _—_ the water tower he and his friends used to hang out under and dare each other to climb; his elementary school and high school; the first house he lived in with his parents before they divorced.

They near a little park, complete with playground equipment and benches, and Blake pulls off into the parking lot.

“I used to walk here from my house when I was a kid and meet up with my friends… play basketball, hide and seek, football,” he says.

He opens his door, so Gwen follows suit, and they walk over to the swings, which aren’t too small for them to sit on, though Blake’s knees come almost up to his chest. She laughs, moving back and forth lightly on her swing.

The air is thick with humidity following the ceasing of the rain, and Gwen can almost close her eyes and envision little Blake running around this park.

There is something so bittersweet about recalling a blissful childhood _—_ remembering how innocent and carefree you once were, and how things change so much as you get older. You're never quite as carefree once you realize the world isn't always so kind.

“I miss being a kid,” she says aloud. “Me and my sister used to come to a park kind of like this one, it had a little skating area inside, and we’d put on our rollerblades and try to avoid the skateboarders. I got run over once by one of them, though. Cried for an hour.”

They swing quietly for a few minutes, and Gwen decides to voice what she’s thinking, hoping he doesn’t feel she’s overstepping. 

“You know, you can have both worlds if you really want them,” she says gently. “Maybe you were never meant to stay here forever, you were meant to go to Nashville and do exactly what you’re doing. But you can reclaim what belongs to you here _—_ and that’s your memories, your loved ones. They are all that matters, not anyone else.”

She reaches out her hand to him, and he takes it in his between the swings.

“I know it seems like the good things you built here were taken from you… but there’s nothing stopping you now from taking it all back,” she says.

Blake listens to her quietly, the swing creaking as he continues to move.

“I know you’re right,” he says finally, looking around at the empty playground. “I can’t forget the bad, but I can’t forget the good either. And I don’t want to.”

She gives his hand an encouraging squeeze. 

They get up and move back to the car, stopping at a fast food drive-through before heading back to the hospital for a couple more hours. Blake's mother doesn't awaken while they're there, but Gwen knows he feels better just being in the same room as her, watching over her. 

"Why don't you go grab us some more coffee from Endy?" Blake says at one point, looking over at her. She wonders if he fears she's bored or tired of sitting around. 

"Are you sure?" she asks. 

"Yeah, she probably needs a visitor right about now, they don't get too much business in the afternoon," he says, handing her his keys. "It's literally a mile down the road from here, just take a left at the stop sign and you'll see it." 

Gwen nods and takes the keys, kissing him on the head. "I'll be right back." 

* * *

Gwen enters the little coffee shop and looks around hesitantly. No one else is there, and a country music radio station plays softly from an overhead speaker. 

"Hey there," Endy says, coming through a door behind the counter. "Everything still okay?" 

"Oh, yeah, she's the same," Gwen says, walking closer. "Blake sent me over here to get some coffee, but I think he really just wanted me to stretch my legs and to check on you." 

Endy smiles, nodding. "Sounds like him. Let me make you something, and we can sit down and chat. I'll make Blake's drink before you head back over there."

Gwen bites her lip and gives her order, then goes to a little table nearby to wait. Endy brings the drink over and offers her a curious smile. 

"So you and my brother, huh? I was surprised to see you here with him, but also not really surprised at all," Endy says. "He definitely doesn't open up too much to me about this kind of thing, but I had a feeling there was more going on there."

Gwen can feel her face redden, and she drops eye contact. "Yeah," she says, looking down as she stirs her coffee. "We've gotten really close over the last few months."

"Are you dating officially?" Endy asks. 

Gwen lets out a light laugh. She's not even sure. "Well, I'd like to think so, yeah," she says. "We haven't labeled it, and we said we would take it slow, but... he asked me to come with him, and here I am. I didn't even think twice about it."

"Sounds pretty serious to me," Endy remarks.

Gwen nods. It is serious, she knows. She doesn't know at what speed their relationship will continue to progress, but she knows she doesn't see it ending, as long as they both continue to be open with each other and strengthen their trust in each other. 

"I think it's evolved faster than either one of us ever planned for it to," Gwen says. "I think that scared him a little bit at first. We've had some bumps in the road, but thankfully we've overcome them so far."

"He's definitely got some baggage that he's been needing to unload for some time," Endy nods. "I feel like seeing him here, seeing him with you, he's finally starting to do that. You have to understand, he must _really_ care about you to have brought you here with him. And I'm really happy for him, that he found someone like you to be there for him. I just want him to be happy."

"Me too," Gwen murmurs. "I'm going to try and keep making him happy."

Endy smiles warmly at her. "Good." 

"And I'm not working for him anymore, either," Gwen adds quickly. "I got another job that I'm actually starting next week. So we're... we're free to explore this relationship as we want, without any boundaries."

When another customer comes inside the shop, Endy heads to the counter to take the person's order while Gwen finishes off her drink. 

"I guess I'd better get back," Gwen says, standing up after the other customer leaves. "Blake would probably just want a plain coffee, black."

"Got it," Endy says. She pours the coffee and hands Gwen a to-go cup. 

"I'm really glad you're here with him," Endy says. "Tell him I want to take you guys to lunch tomorrow."

Gwen nods her agreement and then departs, making the short trip back to the hospital. 

Everything is the same as she left it, with Blake's mom still sleeping and Blake sitting back in his uncomfortable chair, watching another rerun of an old show playing on the TV. Gwen sets the coffee down on a side table and goes over to him, sitting down on his lap and resting her head on his shoulder. He wraps his arms around her, hugging her to him gently. 

When visiting hours are over, Blake drives Gwen to his mother's empty home, where they settle into a guest bedroom.

They kiss softly in bed, but don’t take it any farther. The emotional exhaustion of the day has taken its toll, and within minutes, Blake falls asleep, gently snoring.

Though he has spoken few words today, often just quietly processing his own thoughts and feelings, she somehow doesn't feel like he's been closed off from her. Instead, she feels closer to him than she ever has before. 

She smiles at his sleeping face, kissing his cheek before she turns over and shuts her eyes.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all of your comments on the previous chapters!!

They’ve been at the hospital for about thirty minutes the next morning when Blake’s mom turns over in her bed and slowly opens her eyes.

“Blake?” she asks as she fixates on him, her voice hoarse. Blake’s eyes widen and he stands, hurrying over to her bedside.

“Hey,” he says, squatting down to be closer to her face.

She starts to attempt to sit up, and Blake gently places his hand on her shoulder.

“Uh-uh,” he says. “Lay back down, don’t overwork yourself. How are you feeling?”

She puts her head back down on the pillow, still gazing up at him. Tears well in her eyes. “Better now that you’re here.”

Blake drags his chair over closer so he can sit. He takes her hand in his. “We’ve been here since yesterday, but you never woke up.”

“‘We’?” she asks.

He clears his throat and then glances back at Gwen. “I brought someone I’d like you to meet,” he says, motioning for Gwen to come closer.

“Mom, this is Gwen,” he says. “My…my girlfriend.” He looks at Gwen quickly, as if to ensure he has her approval to use that word, and she gives him a beaming smile.

“So nice to meet you,” his mother says, holding up her frail hand. Gwen shakes it primly, then smooths down her shirt self-consciously.

“It’s so nice to meet you, too,” Gwen says. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

She pulls a chair up as well to sit just slightly further back than Blake.

“You gave us quite a scare,” he tells his mom.

“Well, I must have, if it got you out this way again,” she replies wryly. “Guess I know what it takes, for future reference.”

Blake doesn’t laugh. “Don’t joke about that, I don’t want to see you in here again any time soon, or ever.”

His mom turns her gaze to Gwen. “Well, Gwen, where are you from? How did you and Blake meet?”

Gwen glances at Blake and then smiles nervously. “I’m from southern California — Orange County. But I live in Nashville now. Blake and I met at work.”

Blake’s mom looks over at him. “You’re dating an employee?”

Her tone is not disapproving, but surprised and intrigued.

“No,” Blake says. “Not anymore. Well, it’s a long story, but uh, Gwen doesn’t work at Majestic anymore. That’s just how we met and got to know each other.”

“How long have you been together exactly?”

Gwen and Blake glance at each other.

“Um, officially? Three days?” Gwen says, unsure how to answer.

“But unofficially, longer than that,” Blake adds.

“It’s a long story,” Gwen repeats.

“Well,” his mom says, propping herself up just a little, looking at them with unhidden curiosity. “I’m surely not going anywhere this morning. I’d love to hear it.”

* * *

They’ve gotten down to the end of telling their story, and Blake’s mother has been enraptured the whole time.

Despite the personal nature of it all and the fact that this is their first meeting, Gwen somehow doesn’t feel shy expressing her feelings so openly. On the contrary, she wants Blake’s mom to know how much she cares about her son.

“I don’t know, even though it hasn’t been that long, I just feel like I’ve known him forever,” she says. “You raised a very kind and caring man with a wonderful heart.” She meets eyes with Blake and gives him a small smile.

A light knock on the door is followed by Endy’s cheerful voice. “I brought lunch!” she exclaims, entering with a tray of sandwiches.

She comes over and gives her mother, brother, and even Gwen a kiss on the cheek. “I was going to bring y’all somewhere for lunch, but since that one finally decided she’d had enough beauty rest, I figured we’d all just eat in here,” Endy says.

“Good idea,” Gwen smiles.

Endy pulls up a chair and passes around the sandwiches as they chat about various topics. Gwen can tell both brother and sister are feeling much more relaxed and relieved after seeing that their mother is awake and talking.

When a nurse comes in and asks them to take a break from visiting so their mom can be evaluated, Blake looks over at Gwen.

"I was thinking we could go get some frozen casseroles and stuff like that for my mom to have ready to eat the next few days once she gets home," Blake says. "I don't want her pushing herself too hard trying to cook." 

Endy says she’ll hang out in the waiting room while they run to the store, so Gwen and Blake head out to his truck in the parking lot.

Gwen notices a look of apprehension wash over Blake's features as they approach the entrance to the small grocery store. She wonders if he’s worried about running into anyone he knows for the first time in so long.

She pulls out a shopping cart from the lobby area and begins to push it inside as Blake walks next to her. They go to the frozen foods section and begin surveying the options, Blake carefully selecting some meals that are higher in protein and calories for his mother. 

“I can make some lasagna tonight too, that will keep in the fridge for a few days and it’s easy to reheat,” Gwen suggests.

“Great idea,” Blake says. They begin pushing the cart over to the pasta aisle when Blake suddenly freezes. Gwen stops and looks up at him. “What?”

He gazes down the aisle, a look of uncertainty on his face.

"That's Miranda's mom," he says under his breath. Gwen's eyes widen and she sneaks a peek at the blonde woman on the other end of the aisle. The woman hasn’t seen them yet, but she’s already headed in their direction. There’s no easy escape.

Gwen recognizes the exact moment when Miranda’s mother registers Blake’s presence. Her face slackens, she stares, puts her hand up to her cheek.

“Blake Shelton?” she asks in a southern drawl, abandoning her shopping cart to walk up closer to him.

“Hi,” Blake says quietly, politely. “How are you?”

“I can’t believe it’s you.”

Closer up, Gwen can see that this woman is almost in tears, gazing at Blake like he's a miracle standing in front of her. 

“When did you get here? Did you move back? Miranda didn’t tell me.”

Blake looks around nervously, as if he’s afraid Miranda is going to pop up from behind one of the displays of macaroni.

“No, I’m just here visiting my mom. I’m leaving again soon.”

“Have you seen her? Have you seen Miranda?”

“No ma’am,” he replies, his voice still restrained and civil. “I saw her a little over a month ago, though. Heard her good news.”

Miranda’s mom shakes her head vigorously. “No, didn’t you hear? She called off the wedding.”

Gwen’s face heats, and she looks up to see Blake’s expression. He raises his eyebrows in surprise.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” he says. “I didn’t know.”

Miranda’s mom does start to cry then, just a little, tears coming to her eyes. “That girl, I just don’t know what to do with her. First she ruins a perfectly good relationship with you, and now she’s done it again… She just doesn’t know what she wants — she never has, has she? Even when she was a little girl, I could never get her to make up her mind. She’s going to regret it all, I just know it.”

She reaches out and touches Blake’s arm, and Gwen can sense him stiffen at the gesture.

“Would you… maybe you could call her while you’re here? I know she’d love to hear from you.”

Blake shakes his head, turning his body slightly back to Gwen. “I’m sorry Mrs. Lambert, um... this is my girlfriend, Gwen. She’s visiting here with me this week.”

The woman looks and seemingly notices Gwen standing there for the very first time. She had been so stunned and mesmerized by Blake that she hadn’t realized he wasn’t alone. Her eyes rake over Gwen’s face and clothes, her expression dulling with the realization that Blake probably won’t be coming to Miranda’s rescue.

“Hi,” Gwen says timidly, biting her lip.

“Oh, well, nice to meet you,” the woman says politely, gripping the strap of her purse over her shoulder. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know… Well, uh… my, this is embarrassing, I was just running my mouth like that and didn’t even think…”

She tries to grasp for words as Blake and Gwen stand there awkwardly.

“I really do wish the best for her, and I’m sure she’ll be fine,” Blake says, ever so cordially. “We have to get going now, but it was nice to see you.”

Miranda’s mother nods in resignation. “Of course. I… it was nice to see you, and it was nice to meet you, Gwen.”

Blake and Gwen nod their goodbyes and move forward. Blake lets out a heavy sigh as soon as she’s out of earshot.

“I’m so sorry about that,” he apologizes, glancing down at Gwen. “My God, that was uncomfortable.”

“It’s okay,” Gwen assures him.

She doesn’t want to express this judgment aloud, but she wonders if Blake sees the potential message in the fact that Miranda has called off yet another wedding.

She hopes he sees even more now that his broken engagement wasn’t all his fault. It was ultimately the result of a girl who just doesn’t know what she wants, who wasn’t strong enough to stick to her conviction about her fiancé. Who is still trying to figure herself out, even now.

They gather the ingredients for lasagna and then head to the checkout register. Gwen feels a sense of relief when they make it through the doors, right up until another voice calls out in their direction from up ahead.

“Mr. Shelton.”

An older man approaches them from the parking lot, looking at Blake with a sense of curious surprise. Gwen glances up at Blake, who has a deer-in-headlights look on his face.

“It’s been a long time,” the man says, reaching out his hand.

“Councilman Roberts,” Blake replies tensely, shaking the man’s hand.

The white-haired man has an easygoing expression, not accusing or unfriendly, and Gwen feels her own shoulders relax a little. This doesn’t seem like it’s going to be a negative interaction.

“I heard you moved out to Nashville,” Councilman Roberts says. “How is that going?”

Blake seems to recover his composure and nods his head. “Great,” he says. “How have you been?”

The older man gives him a smile. “Pretty good. It’s nice to see you around here. I was just thinking about you the other day, wondering how you were doing. What a surprise to see you now.”

“Really?” Blake doesn’t seem to believe it.

“Oh sure,” Councilman Roberts replies. “Did you know, after you left it took us six months to find a suitable replacement for you? We had to let go the first attempt of a hire for incompetence, and then even the next one only lasted two years after that. Such instability, it was a damn mess. I always thought it was such a loss to us that we let you get away.”

Blake seems astounded, unsure of what to say. “Well… uh, thank you. I hope you’ve all got it together now.”

“Eh, it’s fine,” the councilman says. “Have you ever thought of moving back here?”

Blake shakes his head hesitantly. “No, I think I’ve got it pretty good out in Tennessee now.”

Blake pauses, glancing at Gwen. “This will always be my hometown, though.”

The councilman pats Blake on the shoulder. “Nice to hear of an Ada boy making good out in the world,” he says. “I had no doubt you would, though, honestly.”

“Thank you, sir,” Blake replies. “I appreciate that.”

They say their goodbyes, and Blake and Gwen continue on to the truck to pack up the groceries.

“I take it he wasn’t one of the councilmen who wanted to let you go from your job?” she asks.

Blake shakes his head. “I only knew how the vocal ones felt. The quiet ones like Roberts, I wasn’t so sure. I just figured they all wanted me gone, though.”

Gwen wishes that there would have been someone back then who would have stood up for Blake, who would have gone against the crowd and pointed out how overreactive they were being, pushing him out of his job like that.

But everything ultimately worked out the way it was supposed to… and it led him to her. So perhaps being unable to change the past is for the best.

“That was nice of him to say to you,” she says softly. “It’s nice to know your contribution was recognized even after you left.”

“Yeah,” Blake says quietly, pulling the truck out of the parking lot. “It is.”

* * *

After putting away the food at the house, Blake and Gwen return to the hospital to find out that doctors have decided his mom can go home the very next day as long as she remains stable throughout the night.

“That seems quick,” Blake says, sounding concerned.

“I feel much better,” his mom replies quickly. “I want to get out of here.”

“Well, we’ll see how you do through the rest of the day and tonight,” Blake says sternly. Gwen smiles at him and his overprotectiveness.

“We got you a lot of food,” she tells his mother. “You’ll be all set when you get home.”

They spend the rest of the afternoon visiting until it’s time to leave, and then Blake and Gwen return to the house. He sits up on a stool at the bar in the kitchen while Gwen gets to work on the lasagna.

“What else do you know how to cook?” he asks, watching her with his chin in his hand. “I feel like you’ve been hiding this talent from me.”

She chuckles, shaking her head. “Lasagna, spaghetti… I got the Italian staples down, but that’s about it.”

She retrieves a clean spoon and brings some of the marinara sauce over for him to taste.

“How’s that?” she asks, putting the spoon in his mouth.

“Very good.” He pulls her head to him and kisses her, the taste of tomato still on his tongue.

“Mmm,” she says. “You’re right, it is good.”

She moves back to the stove as he laughs.

“Have I told you that I love you?” he asks, out of the blue.

She turns back to him and smiles. “Not today.”

“Well, I do. I love you very much,” he says in a serious tone, giving her sweet eyes. “It’s really nice of you to make this for my mom. I really don’t know what I would have done without you here with me.”

She walks back over to him and kisses him again as he pulls on the front of her apron, bringing her closer to him. “It’s my pleasure,” she says when they finally break away. “And I love you very much, too.”

It’s hard for her to believe that just a week ago they were broken up. That feels like an eternity ago.

To go from where they were then to where they are now — in his mother’s home in Ada, facing everything together.

It’s like a miracle.

* * *

Blake and Gwen drive his mother home from the hospital at noon the next day, just in time for Gwen to heat up some lasagna for everyone to have for lunch.

Blake sets up some pillows and blankets for his mom to rest on the sofa in the living room, and Gwen serves her a plate of food on a TV tray.

“Y’all stop fussing over me,” his mom says lightheartedly. “I’m good.” 

After they get her settled in and finish eating, Blake says he wants to run over to the pharmacy to pick up some medicine for his mom.

"Can you just stay with her while I'm gone?" he asks Gwen. "I'll be right back."

As soon as the front door closes behind him, Blake's mom looks over at Gwen who is sitting on the recliner chair with her legs curled under her.

"I haven't seen him this happy in a long, long time," she comments, staring meaningfully at Gwen.

Gwen nervously messes with her hair and chuckles a little. "I think he's really happy you're doing so much better," she offers modestly.

"Oh, sure... but I see the way he looks at you when you’re not watching. He just glows around you," his mom replies. "You've got his heart. It's still fragile, I think. Please be careful with it." 

Gwen meets her eyes, a serious expression on her face now. "I promise you, I will." 

They spend the rest of that day and the next day as well bunkered down at his mom's house, watching TV, doing puzzles, eating, and chatting easily.

Endy pops in and out in between work shifts, and with each hour that passes Gwen feels like she can see Blake coming more and more back to life from so much uninterrupted time with his family.

After seeing how well his mother is holding up twenty-four hours after coming home, Blake and Gwen decide to head back to Nashville early the next day, a Friday, so Blake can check in with the office and clean up any messes or loose ends that have arisen during his absence. Gwen will also only have the weekend to prepare for starting her new job on Monday. 

“We can stay a little longer if you need to,” she tries to assure him, but Blake is resolute that they need to go ahead and get back to real life.

The night before their departure, Gwen is drifting off to sleep as she feels Blake tossing and turning next to her.

“You okay?” she murmurs, rolling over to face him.

Moonlight beams in through the window, and with the help of that faint glow she can see that his eyes are glistening.

“I wasted so much time,” he says, his voice sounding tormented. “If something had happened to my mom… I haven’t seen her in so long, and it’s my own fault.”

Gwen reaches out and caresses his face, putting a thumb to the corner of his eye where moisture is collecting.

“All that matters is you’re here now, and she’s fine,” Gwen says softly. “Don’t beat yourself up too much, okay? I think you’ve done enough of that over these past few years. Just think about what you want to change in the future, and then do it.”

Blake nods and shuts his eyes, and Gwen burrows closer to him, pressing herself against his chest as he wraps an arm around her.

She realizes that not too long ago he would have resisted her words, argued with her about why he had reason to keep self-flagellating.

For so long she wanted him to hear what she said, and believe her, and believe in himself.

If almost losing her, if worrying about losing his mother, is what it took to finally turn him around… so be it.

She’s thankful he was able to learn his lesson without actually losing either one.


	24. Chapter 24

Early Friday morning before the sun is up, Blake and Gwen check in with his sleeping mother, who reassures them one more time that she's feeling fine.

They whisper their goodbyes and set out on the road, looking to make the entire ten-hour trip in one day this time. 

As they leave Ada and enter the next town, Gwen takes a sidelong glance at Blake and says, a warm but musing tone in her voice: "Now that wasn't so bad, was it?"

He just throws her a smile and squeezes her knee. 

He wasn’t struck by lightning when he entered the city limits. He saw people who might have otherwise brought up bad memories — Miranda’s mom and that councilman — and he survived. He got to spend precious time with his family and hopefully see that they superseded everything else that was keeping him away. 

All in all, she’d call this whole trip a success. 

They are somewhere in the middle of Arkansas when Gwen starts thinking about how they're going to handle the unveiling of their relationship to all of her former Majestic employees — the ones who will still very much be working with Blake.

Will they think it's sketchy, knowing something must have started before she left? Will that bother Blake, to have people talking about them? She decides to ask him.

"There's no getting around it, I think," he says. "Even if we don't admit we're together until a few months from now, it will still raise some eyebrows even then. I doubt anyone will ask me about it directly, though."

"Except Laney," Gwen comments. Laney will want to know every single detail. 

"Yeah, except Laney." 

"If it's okay with you, I'll maybe ask her to have a drink together next week and tell her then," Gwen says. "I'll ask her to be discreet about what I tell her, but I think she'll be happy for us."

Blake nods his approval. "I think she will too," he agrees. 

The drive back to Nashville feels quicker than the drive to Ada. Blake’s relief — both because the visit is behind him and because he knows his mom is going to be okay — is palpable.

By 4 p.m. that afternoon, he is pulling into the parking lot of Gwen's apartment complex to drop her off. They're both exhausted, but Blake wants to run by Majestic and check in with Roger there before he goes home.

She stretches out her hand to caress his face.

“I guess we’ll talk later,” she says. It’s been nice to spend the last few days together, even if there were a lot of heavy moments. 

“I’ll call you,” he says, giving her a soft kiss. "I love you. Thank you for coming with me."

"I love you, too."

* * *

Friday night is spent recovering from the emotional week and long day of travel, but on Saturday Blake calls, asking if Gwen wants to go out that night.

"There's this awesome local band playing at a bar downtown," he says. "Want to go to dinner and then listen to some music?"

He arrives to pick her up around 6, and unlike their super fancy dinner last weekend, this time they just grab some tacos before heading over to the dimly lit bar, where they stand in the back a little further away from the crowd. The band is one of Blake's favorites, though Gwen has never heard of them. Their music is a mixture of upbeat and melancholy, its tone soothing and hypnotic.

Gwen leans back against him, taking his hands in hers when he wraps his arms around her from behind. They sway to the music, and Gwen even lets her eyes drift closed for just a minute, soaking in this moment, how she feels. Serene and loved. 

When the band’s set ends, she turns around in Blake's arms and grips the front of his shirt. Suddenly she wants nothing more than to be in bed with him. 

"When are you taking me home?" she asks, her voice suggestive and husky.

He leans down and kisses her in response, which is exactly what she was wanting. Not one to typically engage in PDA, the buzz she has going from the few drinks she’s consumed and sudden anticipation for alone time tonight fuels her lack of inhibition as she pulls his head down, kissing him thoroughly without care of who's around and who's watching. It clearly affects him too. 

"Okay," Blake says when they pull away, his eyes flashing. "Let's get out of here." 

She giggles and lets him lead her out of the bar by the hand. Once they get to his truck just across the street from the bar, he presses her against the passenger side door and kisses her again. She runs her hands up and down his chest.

"Is my place closer or yours?" he murmurs. "I can't think." 

"Definitely yours," she breathes out, dragging her lips across his. 

"I don't even know if I can drive," Blake says just before she attacks his mouth again. 

She is lost in their kissing, his hands in her hair, her mind swirling. 

"I fucking knew it." 

The familiar voice is ice water poured all over her head. 

Gwen pulls her lips away from Blake's and looks to her right. 

Gavin is standing there a few feet away, his arms crossed, an angry smirk on his face. Blake takes Gwen's hand in his as he stands beside her. 

"You acted so self-righteous, said nothing was going on with your boss, and now look at you." 

"Oh, fuck off," Blake says, angling his body just slightly in front of Gwen. 

Gwen just rolls her eyes. "I don't care what you think, Gavin, even though you're wrong," she says. "This is none of your business. You can go now." 

Gavin shakes his head, but still keeps his distance. "I'm wrong? You're making out with him in a public parking lot. But sure, you weren't fucking him when we were still together," his voice drips with sarcasm.

Maybe it's because she has Blake with her, maybe it's because she's fed up with being polite or scared, but she isn't rattled by Gavin and she's not letting him get to her.

"I wasn't," she responds, stone-faced. "I'm so tired of even talking to you, honestly. We broke up. I moved on. You need to do the same." 

Gavin turns his biting gaze to Blake. "Shouldn't there be some kind of rule against a man sleeping with his assistant? I wonder how your own bosses would feel if they knew about this."

Blake just chuckles, unaffected, but Gwen's blood practically boils at this implied threat, that Gavin would even think about ratting them out to someone and try to get Blake fired.

"He's not my boss anymore, you asshole," she says. "So he can do whatever he wants with me." 

Gavin stares at her, his brown eyes unyielding. She doesn't know what else he needs to hear. 

"You're going to regret this," Gavin says. "Throwing away everything we had for him."

Gwen shakes her head. She hates that they even have to have this confrontation in front of Blake, talk about him like he's not there, but she doesn't know how else to get through to Gavin.

Nashville isn’t a small town, but at the same time it is. This very well may not be the last time she runs into him.

All she wants is for them to get to a point where if they ever happen to be in the same place again, they won't even feel the need to bother acknowledging each other. 

"No, I'm not going to regret anything. What we had wasn't meant to last, and I love him."

"Do you love him more than you loved me?" Gavin dares ask. His tone is almost cocky, which Gwen finds hard to believe.

She feels her heart speed up, her face flush. If he thinks he's putting her on the spot, that she's not going to be sure how to answer, then he truly doesn't understand how far past him she is. 

"Yes, I do. I’m sorry.”

She looks up at Blake then, who is gazing down at her. Hesitantly she looks back over at Gavin, who suddenly looks demoralized.

Perhaps he can't understand how she could already love someone so much when she's known him for less than a year, how she could love Blake more than him when they were together for three years. But love can't solely be measured by quantity of time.

She doesn't know how to explain it... it’s just the way she feels. 

Gavin punches his fist into his other hand a couple times, shaking his head. "Well, I guess that's that, then," he says bitterly. "Have a great life." 

He turns and walks away, headed into the very bar that she and Blake just left.

Gwen releases a deep sigh, turning back to Blake and pressing her face against his chest. 

"Do you think he finally got the message?" she asks. 

Blake hugs her.

"I think so." 

* * *

Gwen is even more nervous for her first day with Ryman than she was for Majestic. Perhaps because with Majestic, she was just so grateful to have obtained a good job, and she was still so blissfully ignorant of the way things operate in Nashville. 

Now with Ryman, she's a smaller fish in a bigger pond, and she knows she'll be expected to perform diligently and efficiently. She just hopes the people she'll be working with are at least half as nice as the people she met through the theatre. 

Dan Abraham greets Gwen in the lobby at her arrival time, then shows her to her very own office. It's not big, it's not fancy, it only has one small window that looks out to the parking lot. But it's all hers. 

She spends the day meeting other employees and then being briefed on her initial job duties — helping to line up live music shows for Ryman's chain of restaurants, which includes a Nashville location as well as locations in Orlando and Gatlinburg. 

She'll be expected to find talent that can fill allotted dates, help with promotional events and contests, and just generally be an idea machine for things that can attract tourists and locals alike to all three locations. 

She meets Samantha, another event coordinator she'll be working closely with to schedule this programming. A few years older than Gwen, Samantha is a quiet but friendly brunette from Ohio. 

"Dan is a big teddy bear," Samantha assures her as they sit in Gwen's office going over Gwen's job duties. "He'll let us do our own thing and trust us to make the right decisions. As long as we keep everything running smoothly, he stays out of our business for the most part." 

Her first day goes by quickly, and Gwen can hardly wait to see and talk with Blake more in-depth about everything. They've been texting throughout the day off and on, but it's just not the same as having him right there a few feet away like she did before. 

"Did you miss me today?" she asks him that night when he opens the door of his condo to her, pulling her in for a hug. 

"Yes," he replies. "I'm about to throw a sheet over your desk so I don't have to look at it anymore." 

She laughs, tugging on his earlobes. "Any leads yet for my replacement?" 

Blake nods. "Yeah, there's an applicant that I think will work out; her name's Margaret, she's been an executive assistant for various places over the last twenty years," he says. "She seems like a stickler for details and really organized. I'm probably going to offer her the job this week if none of the other interviewees match up to her. I don't think they will, though." 

"Good," Gwen says. "That's the last thing that needs to fall into place for everything to have worked out right... I really did feel bad for leaving you in a bind with such short notice."

Blake shakes his head. "You did what was best for you... and best for us," he says, kissing her head. "So tell me all about your first day."

He sits down on the sofa while she leans back against the opposite end, resting her feet in his lap, telling him about everything she learned today. 

As she lists all of the things she'll be responsible for, she once again marvels at how much she benefitted from her short time at Majestic... the training Blake gave her, the way he helped prepare her for this next step in her career. 

She really got everything she could have ever wanted the day she got the job with him. 

* * *

Gwen stirs the little cocktail straw in her drink as she waits for Laney's arrival to the restaurant they'd agreed to meet up at.

Though she's nervous to tell Laney about her and Blake, she's also feeling excited. She wants to be able to talk about this with someone who knows both of them. 

Laney is right on time, smiling wide and waving as she spots Gwen sitting at their table. Gwen stands to greet her, and the two women hug before Laney settles across the table, ordering some wine.

"It hasn't even been two weeks, but it feels like a hundred," Laney says. "Things are so sad at work without you there! How's the new job?" 

"Good," Gwen replies. "Still getting my feet wet. I really miss you guys, too." 

Laney takes a big sip of her wine. "So, anything else interesting going on with you?"

Gwen nods shyly and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. "Yes, actually, there was something I wanted to tell you about... um... I wanted to tell you that I've started seeing someone." 

Laney's eyes widen, and she puts her wine glass down. "Oh my God! That's awesome! Where did you meet him? Tinder?" 

Gwen laughs, shaking her head. "No. Um... well..."

She bites her lip, her heart hammering as she tries to get up the courage to make the big reveal. 

Laney cocks her head to the side, confused. "Is it an embarrassing story? Or wait... do I know him?"

Gwen meets her eyes and nods. "Yeah, you know him." 

Laney sits and thinks, tapping the side of her head. "It's not Christopher, is it? He never mentioned anything to Jay." 

Gwen shakes her head. "No, not him." 

Laney's eyebrows raise. "Someone from work?! Jason? Trevor? Surely not Michael?"

Everyone she's listing are employees in other departments at Majestic, stagehands, stage techs, sound guys.

Gwen blows out a shaky breath. "It's... it's Blake. We're together now." 

Laney stares at her blankly for a second, as if her brain just does not compute what it has been told. Then her mouth slowly draws open. 

"Blake Shelton?!" she exclaims. 

Gwen feels her face turn red. "Yeah... um..." She waits for Laney to say something else. 

Laney's open mouth slowly turns into a smile, and she puts her hands on the side of her head. "What? How? When? Oh my God. You have to tell me everything. What the fuck?" 

Gwen laughs and holds up a hand. "Okay, first, breathe."

Laney nods and puts her hand on her chest. "Okay, I'm breathing, I'm breathing. Okay. So, go back to the beginning... you and Blake are dating? Wait, is that why you left so soon?"

Gwen nods. "Okay, I'm going to tell you the whole story, because Blake is okay with it, but promise you won't tell anyone else the details, okay? I mean, we're not hiding that we're together, but I don't want people judging us about how it happened or getting in our business, you know?" 

"Of course not," Laney says. "And you know I won't judge you, I love both of you guys."

Gwen smiles and continues. "Okay, well, obviously it kind of began when we started working closely together and getting to know each other..."

She tells Laney their entire story, about all of their starts and stops; the fact that they were together when Laney tried to set Gwen up with Christopher; the fact that they were broken up the day Gwen left Majestic.

She tells Laney about Blake coming to her apartment and asking for another chance. She reveals that she was with Blake when he was out of town for almost a whole week in Oklahoma. Everything. 

Laney has gasped and clutched her heart so much throughout Gwen's story that Gwen almost feels like she needs to locate some smelling salts just in case Laney passes out. 

"Oh my God," Laney says when Gwen finishes. "You guys are the hottest couple ever. Oh my God."

Gwen laughs. "So, yeah... and that's it."

"That's it? You say that like you haven't just told me the best story I've heard all year," Laney says. "Well, we definitely have to double date now. Like, name the time and place, and Jay and I will be there." 

"That would be fun," Gwen replies. "I'm really glad I could finally tell you. It was really hard to keep it a secret, but I hope you understand... I didn't want him to get in trouble, and we were still trying to figure things out."

"Of course," Laney says. "I'm so glad it all worked out! My goodness, I really had no idea, though. I never thought I'd see Blake settle down with anyone. But it makes so much sense now that I know. You guys really make sense to me. Wow." 

Laney reaches out her hand and squeezes Gwen's. "I'm really happy for both of you. You seem really happy."

Gwen gives her a grateful smile. "Thank you. I really am." 

* * *

It's after midnight early Saturday, and Gwen is spending the night at Blake's again. They’ve been laying together in bed quietly for a few minutes when Blake clears his throat, looking a little nervous all of a sudden. Gwen angles her head up to look at him curiously.

"It might be six months away, but my mom is already wanting to know if we'll come back and visit her over Thanksgiving," Blake says. "So… assuming you’re not sick of me by then… what do ya think?”

Gwen beams at him — not just because he wants to make long-term plans with her, but because it’s not lost on her that he also sounds willing to plan another trip home, back to Ada.

It might be months away, and maybe he’ll need that much time to work up his nerve to go back. But he’s open to doing it, and that’s all that counts.

She reaches across his chest and takes his hand, interlacing her fingers with his.

"I think Oklahoma is probably really beautiful in November."


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pure fluff, a collection of one-shot scenes showing the rest of the year in their relationship. Thanks so much for reading, commenting, liking, everything. Hopefully I'll come up with another story again someday. <3

_June_

They've been visiting her family in California for three whole days before they make it to the beach. 

Their trip so far has been carefree and comfortable, jam-packed with visiting and eating and playing games and enjoying each other.

Blake has fit in with her family easily, seamlessly, so much so that Gwen doesn't know why she was so nervous on the plane ride here. It must have been because she so desperately wanted them all to love Blake, to accept him in her life.

And of course, they do. She never had need to worry.

Blake says he's never really been to a "real" beach, whatever that means. His childhood was spent on lakes, rivers, catching frogs in ponds. His family didn't do oceans. 

Upon hearing this revelation, Gwen made it her mission to get him to one before the end of their trip.

As they walk barefoot just where the sand meets the water, Gwen looks out toward the sun starting to lower in the sky. When she turns her head back, Blake is looking down at her.

"You miss it here?" he asks, a soft tone to his voice. "Do you ever wish you could move back?"

Gwen thinks for a moment. She does miss it here. She misses having the ocean so close by, the salty air, the perpetual sunshine, her family being only minutes away.

"Sure I miss it," she admits. "I haven't thought about moving back, though. Not recently." 

He puts his arm around her, squeezing her tighter to his side. "I can see why you love it here so much," he says quietly. "I never really grasped how different it was from Nashville, from the south, until we got here. I just wonder if you'd be happier back here."

They still deal with it sometimes, the questions that come to his mind like this, ones that posit a future for her that would be better without him in it, better than what they currently have.

He's getting better at expressing those questions rather than ruminating on them alone, better at listening to her when she answers and better at believing her when she tells him it's nothing to worry about. 

She would rather him not have these questions at all, have no doubt that he's what makes her content. But at least he feels comfortable talking to her about it, openly and with less insecurity. 

"I'm happy where you are," she says honestly.

Her life doesn't revolve around him, no. She's never been a woman who needed a man to survive. But the God's honest truth is that she can live wherever he is, because he's what makes her the happiest. 

They walk a few yards into the water, until the waves are splashing just below Gwen's knees. 

"Growing up, I said I'd never leave California. I used to think I needed to be near the ocean to feel alive," she admits quietly. "I love California the same way you love Oklahoma. It's home, but it's also a place I can leave and be okay. I realized that when I moved to Nashville and made it on my own."

The clasp hands, interlace their fingers, and she smiles as a particularly aggressive wave comes at them faster than previous ones, splashing high enough to soak the bottom of Blake's shorts. 

"I don't think home is a physical place as much as it is a feeling you can feel," she says. "And for me that's with you. Wherever I'm with you is home to me now." 

* * *

_August_

Gwen enters the bar with her stomach full of butterflies, looking around until she sees Blake. Her face lights up when she spots him, and she lifts up her hand to wave and get his attention. 

Blake smiles and makes his way to her through the crowd, grabbing her hips and pulling her close for a kiss.

“You didn’t chicken out,” he teases. “I’m so proud.”

She nudges him. “I wore my flats tonight in case I need to make a run for it,” she says, only half joking.

“You’re going to love it,” he says, taking her hand. “Let’s go get set up.” 

It had taken him a while to convince her to finally do this — to come and sing on stage with him at one of his downtown sets.

But after spending a decent amount of time working on music together recently, always accompanied with his encouragement and praise, he’d finally helped her build up enough confidence to consider performing in public.

Tonight, she makes her debut — singing a song with Blake that they wrote together, about each other, about their relationship, near the end of their trip to California together.

It's been a work in progress for a while, but she finally feels good about the finished product, about singing their little message for others to hear. 

A song about how a girl from California and a boy from Oklahoma found a home together somewhere new, somewhere foreign to both of them. And they couldn’t be happier.

As she gets settled on her stool next to his, she grabs his arm. She’d been so nervous about tonight, she’d forgotten to tell him her big news as soon as she saw him.

“Guess what happened at work today?” she says. “They asked me to help with the planning for the Opry's anniversary show.”

Blake’s face breaks out in a huge smile, and he almost knocks her off the stool as he grabs and hugs her.

“They must be really happy with your work,” Blake says, kissing her quickly even though they have an audience accumulating. “You're going to go so far there.” 

“If I survive the next five minutes,” she mumbles, her stomach turning again as she sees the bar manager signaling to them that they can start whenever they’re ready.

Blake just shakes his head and laughs, then turns to his microphone.

“Hey everybody, I’m Blake Shelton and I’ve got a very special guest here with me tonight. Her name’s Gwen Stefani,” he says. “We’re gonna play you a song we wrote together not too long ago.”

He looks at her and mouths “Ready?”

She nods, exhaling a shaky breath, and he begins to strum his guitar.

Once the music is playing, she finds herself completely, miraculously at peace.

_The winding road, let it twist_

_My home's wherever your heart is_

_Since I met you, I swear_

_I could be happy anywhere_

* * *

_September_

They're almost to the door of the restaurant when Gwen suddenly realizes the significance of this date. She gasps.

"It's September 8th," she says, grabbing Blake’s arm.

Blake shakes his head curiously. "What does that mean?" 

"September 8th was the day I came in for the job interview with you," she says, smiling. "It's the day we met. A year ago today." 

Blake smiles back, turning his head to the side. "Wow, that's crazy. How do you remember that?" 

Gwen laughs. "I don't know, I just... I know it was the day after Labor Day last year. And it just always kind of stuck in my head, that day... and it means I've known you for a whole year now."

"Well, this calls for a celebration, I think," Blake says.

He takes her hand as they enter the restaurant, where Laney and Jay are waiting for them at their reserved table.

They greet Jay and Laney with hugs, and once they sit down, Gwen informs them of the “anniversary” this day represents.

“Who would have thought you’d be here now,” Laney marvels. “It was fate!”

Gwen can hardly believe how her life has changed in a year. 

Even just the last few months have been so different, it’s hard to comprehend — how much she and Blake have grown as a couple as they’ve adjusted to their new schedules, being apart during the day but making time for each other whenever else they can. 

She’s been spending so many nights at his condo that she now keeps some extra work clothes there for when she stays over on weekdays. He even got her her own toothbrush and stores the kind of coffee she likes in his pantry. 

There have been times, just a few, where she sat and thought about how fast they’ve moved, how intense their connection has become, and she would briefly let it scare her. 

She doesn’t think she’d ever be able to handle losing him now. And then she understands even more what made Blake so hesitant in the beginning, what made him so terrified of giving his heart away to potentially be trampled on again. 

She knows she would never, could never do that to him, and she believes he wouldn’t do that to her either. 

In those moments when she would get scared for just a moment, she’d just remind herself of their promises to each other. 

And the fear has lessened each time. 

Laney orders a round of champagne for the table and then makes a dramatic toast to a year of Gwen and Blake being in each other’s lives.

“A year ago today you found what you were looking for, and you didn’t even know it,” she says, her tone sentimental.

Gwen and Blake eye each other. A dimple appears in his cheek.

“I think I knew it,” he says quietly, for only Gwen to hear.

* * *

_November_

“Oh my God, I can’t eat another thing,” Gwen says when Blake’s mom tries to bring her a plate of pumpkin pie.

The sparse remnants of a Thanksgiving feast are still spread out across the dinner table, various extended members of the Shelton family — cousins, aunts, uncles — have been in and out all day, and finally, at the end of the evening, it’s just Gwen, Blake, and his mom, sitting back in the living room and watching a football game while they try to fight the sleepiness that always accompanies this indulgent holiday.

“It will make for a good breakfast in the morning,” his mom says about the pie, getting up to bring it to the kitchen to wrap up and store in the fridge.

On their drive to Ada two days prior, Gwen had asked Blake what it is he usually did on Thanksgiving when he stayed in Nashville. He said he typically served food at the rescue mission, and then sometimes he’d accept Roger’s invitation to come and eat with his family at their house.

Other times, he’d accept a leftover to-go meal from the rescue mission itself and take it home to eat. Alone, of course.

All that time he’d deprived himself of this special feeling that can come with Thanksgiving, if you’re blessed to have a good relationship with your family, a roof over your head, plenty of food to eat.

When you’ve got all of that, and when you know that many other people don’t, it makes it that much easier to be extra grateful on this particular day. 

Gwen rises to help Blake’s mom put up the leftover food, and they chat easily as they rinse dishes to be put away in the dishwasher. Blake comes into the kitchen shortly after, wiping down the table and sweeping up crumbs on the floor.

“Did you think we should tell my mom what we decided?” he asks Gwen, catching her off guard.

It had been just three days ago, the night before they left to come to Ada.

They were lying in his bed, cozily watching television, when he’d gripped her shoulder and turned her over to face him.

“You practically live here,” he’d said, a little smile on his lips.

Gwen had blinked and wondered what that was supposed to mean. “I’ve been spending a lot of time here,” she’d agreed. “Is that… okay?”

Blake had nodded. “Yeah, I just… I’ve been thinking a lot lately… about what it would be like if you never left.”

“Never left? Like…”

“Like if you moved in with me,” he finished, his voice soft. “Do you think that’s something you’d consider, or… do you think it’s too soon?”

Gwen had hardly been able to answer at first because she was so surprised. She’d be lying if she said the thought hadn’t crossed her mind too, many times, but she didn’t want to scare Blake off by even hinting at it.

“Are you asking me to move in with you?” she’d asked, looking in his eyes, pressing in with her gaze. She didn’t want him to get self-conscious or look away; she wanted him to tell her exactly what he wanted.

“Yeah, I am,” he’d replied.

Now, standing in the kitchen with his mom, Gwen lifts her eyebrows and smiles at him.

“Sure, we can tell her,” she says.

Blake walks over and puts his hand on his mom’s shoulder. “Mom… Gwen’s going to move in with me. We’re shacking up.”

Gwen’s mouth drops open at his phrasing as his mom starts laugh.

“Oh, is that news?” she asks. “I thought you already lived together.” He and his mom chuckle together as Gwen recovers with a red face.

“I love you guys together,” his mom says, coming over to give Gwen a hug. “That’s wonderful.”

Gwen looks at Blake over his mother’s shoulder, reveling in the completely content and happy expression on his face as he watches them.

On this day of thanks, they have more than enough to be thankful for.

* * *

_December_

Gwen stands back a few feet to get a full picture of the Christmas tree, screwing up her mouth a little in judgment. She reaches into the box of tinsel and grabs another handful to fill in some bare spots, then plugs in the lights and calls over to Blake.

“What do you think of our tree?” she asks as he walks in from the kitchen with two mugs of hot cocoa in hand.

He puts the mugs down and moves closer to her, hugging her from behind. “Very Christmasey,” he replies, kissing her on the cheek.

She’d finished moving in to his place the day before. Because Blake had an empty guest bedroom, they’d decided she could use that room’s entire closet for all of her clothes, shoes, and purses.

She’d donated her cheap furniture pieces to Goodwill and found places around his condo for all the rest of her stuff. Her pictures of family and friends joined his, in addition to the few framed photos she’d started to collect of the two of them together.

Now, another thing he’d foregone in recent years — Christmas decorations, a Christmas tree, watching Christmas movies, and drinking hot chocolate.

It was her favorite season of all, and she wanted to make sure he felt the full effect of its happiness and light this year, with her by his side.

After all, it had been her concern over him spending the holiday alone last year that had motivated her to push harder, find out what it was that made him so self-isolated.

Everything he missed all these years, she wants to bring back into his life.

“I can’t believe I live here,” she says, looking around the living room.

“I can’t believe I lived here without you,” he replies.

They gaze at the Christmas tree together, the soft glow of white lights, the hodge-podge of ornaments.

Behind the tree, the curtains are drawn so that the lights of downtown Nashville are visible in the distance, the place where they met, the scene of their love story.

Now they have a whole future ahead of them.

Many more anniversaries, many more holidays.

It’s all out there in front of them to look forward to. Together.


End file.
